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Ernie's House of Whoopass! February 1, 2012
February 1, 2012

The Road To Hell is Paved With Good Intentions.

An ant mill is an observed phenomenon in which a group of army ants separated from the main foraging party lose the pheromone track and begin to follow one another, forming a continuously rotating circle. The ants will eventually die of exhaustion. This has been reproduced in laboratories and the behaviour has also been produced in ant colony simulations. This phenomenon is a side effect of the self-organizing structure of ant colonies. Each ant follows the ant in front of it, and this will work until something goes wrong and an ant mill forms. An ant mill was first described by William Beebe in 1921 who observed a mill 1,200 feet in circumference. It took each ant 2.5 hours to make one revolution. Similar phenomena have been noted in processionary caterpillars, fish, and now evidently, sheep.

Athlete's foot is a fungal infection of the skin that causes scaling, flaking, and itch of affected areas. It is caused by fungi in the genus Trichophyton and is typically transmitted in moist areas where people walk barefoot, such as showers or bathhouses. Although the condition typically affects the feet, it can spread to other areas of the body, including the groin. Athlete's foot can be treated by a number of pharmaceutical and other treatments. Athlete's foot causes scaling, flaking, and itching of the affected skin. Blisters, along with cracked and peeling skin may also occur, leading to exposed raw tissue, pain, swelling, and inflammation. Secondary bacterial infection can accompany the fungal infection, sometimes requiring a course of oral antibiotics.

A TV tray table, TV dinner tray, or personal table is a type of collapsible furniture that functions as a small and easily portable, folding table. These small tables were originally designed to be a surface from which one could eat a meal while watching television. The phrase tray-table can also refer to a fold-away tray, such as those found in front of airline seats. TV tray tables became popular in the 1950s as a way to hold food and beverage items while watching TV, the iconic item being a TV dinner. National advertising for TV tray tables first appeared in 1952, a full year before Swanson introduced the TV dinner in October 1953. A set of four TV tables were sometimes sold mounted on a small rack where they could be hung when not in use. This rack was popularly placed in a corner of the living room. The original, popular models consisted of two pieces: a metal tray with grips mounted on its underside, and a set of tubular metal legs with rubberized tips at the bottom. The grips clipped on to the legs, which could be opened up to support the tray, or collapsed for stackable storage. The tray remained clipped to one leg support during storage. As times changed, so did construction techniques, and today TV tray tables are often manufactured of hardwood or using blow-molded plastic.

These days, it's not uncommon — and is now even encouraged — to enhance beauty through artificial means. Celebrities have ridden this wave for a long time, and one of the most popular procedures is the infamous breast enhancement. It's become such a norm these days that it's hard to even keep track of which starlets have real breasts and which of them don't. The percentage of plastic is growing, but some celebs — and their chests — stand out more than others. Here are 15 famous celebrities with memorable artificial knockers; before, and after, their procedure. Of course we'll start out with none other than Knockers Montag herself.

In what can only be described as the funniest piece of legislation I've ever heard of, to protest a bill that would require women to undergo an ultrasound before having an abortion, Virginia State Sen. Janet Howell (D-Fairfax) on Monday attached an amendment that would require men to have a rectal exam and a cardiac stress test before obtaining a prescription for erectile dysfunction medication. How awesome is that?

Ernie, I love the site and visit everyday. I usually just lurk but this story on 60 Minutes really pisses me off. I am a Texan and a rancher but we just have cattle. These ranches are preserving the genetic diversity of rare species. Without the money hunters bring in, these animals will disappear from Texas and the animals in Africa are not safe from local dinner tables. Also, Thanks for all the ass! Bill

Uhhh, before we get into anything, when did 60 Minutes get the hot South African correspondent? That lady doesn't know it, but we had phone sex while she was narrarating her article. In related news, I am wholeheartedly against any position taken by that angry lesbian/crazy animal lady. But seriously. The ranchers have rules set up where only a certain percentage of their herd can be hunted each year -- restrictions that don't exist in Africa where every fucking poacher with a rifle is looking to make a quick buck -- so if the their system been working for the last 50 years or so, why fix what isn't broken?

Lexan is the brand name for polycarbonate sheet and resin in a wide range of grades. In the 1960s, NASA used Lexan-brand polycarbonate for astronaut helmet assemblies and visors which became known as "bubble helmets", including those used by the Apollo moon astronauts. Lexan is also one brand of polycarbonate used to make football and other sports helmets In 1968, Lexan brand polycarbonate sheet could be used in windows, signs, greenhouses and other large applications. By laminating sheets up to 1.25" thick in the 1970s, a material tough enough to stop bullets was created. By 1969, taillights made from Lexan brand polycarbonate were found on the 1969 Dino Ferrari. It was also used not only in industrial safety glasses, but also to make lightweight traditional eyewear. Today, it is used in Fire Alarm Pull Stations.

A touchpad is a pointing device featuring a tactile sensor, a specialized surface that can translate the motion and position of a user's fingers to a relative position on screen. Touchpads are primarily used in self-contained portable laptop computers and do not require a flat surface near the machine. The touchpad is close to the keyboard, and only very short finger movements are required to move the cursor across the display screen; while advantageous, this also makes it possible for a user's thumb to move the mouse cursor accidentally while typing. Touchpad functionality is available for laptop computers in keyboards with built-in touchpads. Because they vary in size, they can also be found on personal digital assistants (PDAs) and some portable media players. Wireless touchpads are also available as detached accessories.

Ernie, I've been loyal since the stick figures, sent you some stuff that's been posted, confused about this link this past weekend. Are you for or against this? Is this a population control issue or animal cruelty item? The grey wolf was recently removed from the endangered species list in North Dakota, South Dakota, Minnesota, Iowa, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, and Ohio because the population has exceeded the carrying capacity of the land and/or the tolerance of the populace (apparently our cattle ranchers are tired of feeding the new born calves to the wolves). I'd like to debate, so please comment. John . P.S. I used to be friends of Facebook, now I'm not. Did I offend in some way to cause me to be removed?

Yes, I think you're a dickhead. No actually, I just look through my FB friends list and if I see no interaction within the last 6 months or so... no soup for you! As for the wolves, stuff like this always makes me chuckle. See down here in Florida, it's coyotes. We constantly build more and more gated housing communities, encoraching upon more and more land that was once exclusively wild, and then cry these sad little tears when a starving coyote runs off with our precious cat. It's like building your fucking house on top of an ancient Indian burial ground, and then wondering why your daughter is yanked into the television by an angry poltergeist. But I can understand hunting for population control just like I can understand hutning to put food on yoru table. But if you are going to hunt, have respect for your quarry and dispatch them with as much reverance as you can. Don't be like these assholes, who should be drug out into the streets and shot themselves.

Discovered in 1884 near Barberton, South Africa, by Scotsman Robert Jameson, the Gerbera is the 5th most popular flower, after rose, carnation, chrysanthemum, and tulip. It is also the most popular daisy variety. Simple yet sophisticated, the vibrant colored Gerberas are the birth flowers for the star sign Leo (July). A beautiful compliment in any flower bouquet, each individual floret is shipped with a protective net and a clear tube to support the stem, to ensure that the flowers arrive and flourish to their maximum beauty and expected vase life.

Turning the tables a little bit, we have already read about all the famous male athletes that have conquered more beautiful women than Hugh Hefner. Now it is the ladies turn. It is time to take a look at some of the sexiest WAGs ever and the male athletes they have dated. As long as they have dated more than one male athlete, they can make the list. And remember, it is ranked in order of hotness and not by the number of conquests. If I ranked it based on conquests, Paris Hilton would win in a landslide. So here is the list of the 25 hottest WAGs with the most conquests of their own.

Wedding photography is the photography of activities relating to weddings. It encompasses photographs of the couple before marriage for announcements, portrait displays, or thank you cards, as well as coverage of the wedding and reception. It is a major commercial endeavor that supports the bulk of the efforts for many photography studios or independent photographers. Some wedding photographers have an office or studio which can double as a retail photography studio. In bigger cities, one might find dedicated wedding studios that only shoot weddings and may have large studios equipped with make-up, hair, and gowns ready for the bride to wear. Other wedding photographers work out of a home studio, preferring to photograph on location. The finished product is often displayed in a prominant location in the newlyweds home such as an entryway, living room, or dining room.

10 masterpieces of high-speed water photography

last surviving member of the original british sas dies aged 92

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