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The Story of My Father's Gun, The Final Chapter.

We all remember how things ended up with my search to get my father's gun back. A Cliff Notes version is as follows: Dad sells gun. Ernie wants gun back. Ernie calls gun shop where Dad sold gun. Gun shop contacts New Owner, to inquire about selling. New Owner says Fuck off. Wait until after the holidays. Ask New Owner again. New Owner says, okay but it's $1,250. Ernie shits himself. Keep in mind my dad sold it for $213. Ernie asks for photos. Gun shop sends photos. It's the wrong fucking gun. Ernie tells Gun Shop this. Gun shop reports they are not about to track down gun, sorry. Back to square one.

I Just Can't Word This Sandy Cootch Joke Right.

Wow, nice fucking weather today, eh?

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

Don't Hate. We All Love Justin Bieber A Little Bit.

The Bell AH-1 Cobra is a two-bladed, single engine attack helicopter manufactured by Bell Helicopter. It shares a common engine, transmission and rotor system with the older UH-1 Iroquois. The AH-1 was the backbone of the United States Army's attack helicopter fleet, but has been replaced by the AH-64 Apache in Army service. The AH-1 twin engine versions remain in service with United States Marine Corps (USMC) as the service's primary attack helicopter. Surplus AH-1 helicopters have been converted for fighting forest fires. Its civilian designation, the Bell 209, the Cobra was derived from the twin beam construction and basic drive train of the UH-1 Huey. During a filming of the Korean Top Gear, an AH1 Cobra helicopter was being used to film a Corvette, crashed in the Arizona desert when the pilot lost control. Amazingly, both helicopter pilots were treated at the scene and walked away unharmed.

Georgia, Louisiana, Alabama... When You're South Of The Mason-Dixon, Who Cares?

Down here in Florida, Taxodium distichum -- also known as the bald-cypress -- is a deciduous conifer that grows on saturated and seasonally inundated soils of the Southeastern and Gulf Coastal Plains of the United states. It is a large tree, reaching 72-125 feet tall and a trunk diameter of 6-9 feet. The bark is gray-brown to red-brown, shallowly vertically fissured, with a stringy texture. Bald-cypress growing on flood-prone sites tend to form buttressed bases, but trees grown on drier sites may lack this feature. Buttressed bases and a strong, intertwined root system allows them to resist very strong winds; even hurricanes rarely overturn them. In 1963 the Bald-cypress was designated the official state tree of Louisiana, and is considered by some to be a symbol of the southern swamps.

Hard To Believe It's Been Ten Years. I Still Miss You, Mom.

"A Mother Holds Her Children's Hands For A While, Their Hearts Forever." ~ Author Unknown

Never Underestimate The Importance Of Good Oral Hygiene.

To hell with truckers, I want one of these for the zombie apocalypse.

Nasal congestion is the blockage of the nasal passages usually due to membranes lining the nose becoming swollen from inflamed blood vessels.

If He Cried Our During That Tattoo, I Wonder if They Called Him A Pussy?

Batsanis was established in 1956 by Arthur Batsanis. Arthur was a traditional and highly skilled boot maker who honed his craft in Europe. After emigrating to Australia and settling in Melbourne, Arthur started his business as a shoe repairer. Due to ever increasing requests, he began making tailor made shoes for his customers. It became clear to him that there was a need for stylish, well crafted shoes which remains true to this day. Demand for his footwear grew strongly and by 1987 Batsanis shoes were being sold Australia wide.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

The Ultimate Authority, Resides In The People Alone.

So I went and watched Safe House this weekend. It wasn't bad, sort of predictable though. I figured out who the bad guy was within the first five minutes, but it was still a good two hours worth of entertainment. Nora Arnezeder was a nice perk, too. Evidently she a singer, but yeah, whatever.

If Disco Is Dead, They Killed It.

So with my little Brady Campaign rant yesterday, a few non-gunners wrote in asking what the dreaded gunshow loophole is. For the most part nothing regarding gunshows has changed in the last thirty years, but ever since this fucking chucklehead said that anyone can walk into a gunshow and buy a fully automatic assault rifle without even so much as having to show some identification, then other fucking chuckeheads like Sarah Brady and Michael Bloomberg have been caling to "close the gunshow loophole." I know what you're thinking... you're too old for this shit, right? Yeah, me too.

Oh, Thursday Doesn't Even Start, It's PIE-DAY I'm In Love.

At 05:11 PM 3/13/2012, Bruce Allen - wrote:

Like The Young Lady Says, You Just Can't Miss With 32D's.

Three years on, and I still say this was the single most selfless act that I've ever witnessed in my entire life.

I'm Completely Serious When I Say, There Isn't an Irish Joke Out There That I Haven't Heard Yet.

Except this one: An Irishman went to the doctor and was asked to give a urine sample. The Irishman asked, "What's a urine sample?" The doctor replied, "Go piss in a bottle." The Irishman retorted, "Go shit in yer hat." And just like that, the fight was on.

Insert Your Favorite St Patrick's Day Joke Here.

So Anyway, This Happened This Morning.

0600: The Boss Lady (TBL) leaves for work on her motorcycle, a 2008 Victory Vegas (third bike, white/black/orange). Tomorrow morning she will be takng my car to work, since I have to take her Vegas in for an oil change and have the electrical system checked; it's four years old so I think it needs a new battery.

A Lesson In Disparity of Force?

So as I'm sure you non-Florida folks are now becoming aware, for the last two weeks the local news has been all over the shooting death of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin. Just recently the 911 calls were released -- complete with Zimmerman saying "fucking coons" at 1:48 remaining on the first one -- and two days ago it came to light that Martin was on with phone with a friend seconds before the shooting. There have been several metric assloads of pressure on the Sanford police department to charge Zimmerman in the shooting, but so far nobody has balked. As of today, it's been sent to Miami to be presented to a Grand Jury, and there's national pressure for the Department of Justice to get involved. The big controversy seems to be whether or not a 200lb man armed with a handgun could feel threatened enough by a 140lb teenager armed with a bag of Skittles, to justify responding with deadly force. Me, I just don't see it. Especially when you remember that Disparity of Force is defined as a situation that any reasonable person would conclude places you at an overwhelming disadvantage in your effort to protect yourself against immediate and serious bodily injury. I just don't think Skittles are that dangerous. My prediction is: Zimmerman will be in handcuffs before April Fool's Day.

Oh Relax, It's Just Some Kid's Arm.

So a video that's just starting to pick up steam as it heads around the internet, was filmed by a guy who met President Obama a hair under a week ago. When the Pres made his way around to Stephon -- who was born deaf 26 years ago -- he signed "I am proud of you" to Obama, and was quite shocked when the President very nonchalantly responded in kind. Taking a quote from the article, "This is one of those moments that humanize the office of the presidency." So I'm not posting this to delve into the Obama-good-guy or Obama-bad-guy debate, I just thought it was a neat surprise that the Pres knows sign language. I also noticed the agents flanking the Pres had their hands in the ready position.

$15 Rubber Ring Toy? Useless. $10 Stuffed Animal Toy? Five Minutes. $1 Racquetball? A Lifetime of Fun!

The cougar, also known as puma, mountain lion, mountain cat, catamount or panther, depending on the region, is a mammal of the family Felidae, native to the Americas. This large, solitary cat has the greatest range of any large wild terrestrial mammal in the Western Hemisphere, extending from Yukon in Canada to the southern Andes of South America. An adaptable, generalist species, the cougar is found in every major American habitat type. It is the second heaviest cat in the Western Hemisphere, after the jaguar. Although large, the cougar is most closely related to smaller felines and is closer genetically to the domestic cat than to true lions. Cougar is also a slang term referring to an attractive older woman who dates much younger men.

Self-awareness is the capacity for introspection and the ability to reconcile oneself as an individual separate from the environment and other individuals. Self-awareness, though similar to sentience in concept, includes the experience of the self, and has been argued as implicit to the hard problem of consciousness. The mirror test is a measure of self-awareness, as animals either possess or lack the ability to recognize themselves in a mirror. The test was developed by Gordon Gallup Jr. in 1970,

Eight To Eighty, Blind, Green or Crazy.

I'm a day late I know, but happy birthday yesterday to the hippest Rocket Man out there, or as I know him, Denny Crane.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

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Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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