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Ernie's House of Whoopass! March 7, 2012
March 7, 2012

Hard To Believe It's Been Ten Years. I Still Miss You, Mom.

"A Mother Holds Her Children's Hands For A While, Their Hearts Forever." ~ Author Unknown

In related news, boy I'd really love to get my hands on this guy. And I mean realllllyyyy.

187 is a slang term for the crime of murder, it refers to Section 187 of the California Penal Code, which defines the crime of murder. The number is commonly pronounced by reading the digits separately as "one-eight-seven", or "one-eighty-seven", rather than "one hundred eighty-seven".

It was forty-eight years ago, March 6, 1964 that Elijah Muhammad announced Cassius Clay would be renamed Muhammad Ali. Clay’s adoption of this name symbolized his acceptance and new identity as a member of the Nation of Islam. Many sports writers refused to accept Ali’s new name, including boxing announcer Don Dunphy and most British reporters. One reporter who did adopt his new name was Howard Cosell. One boxer who refused to adopy his new name was Ernie Terrel. An infuriated Ali informed Terrel that he would, "punish him," and did just that; many sportswriters accused Ali of carrying Patterson so that he could physically punish him without knocking him out. Today, most now refer to the former champ as Muhammad Ali. Otherwise, you know, he beats the fuck out of them.

As a guy blassed with a Captain Picard hairline, trust me when I say that I use more than my fair share of razors. I even went so far as trying a Head Blade and to be honest, wasn't impressed. And much like Ike who turns away from the $20 dog toy with all the bells and whistles (and squeakers), choosing instead the $0.99 racquetball as his toy of choice, all the fancy razors with 85 built in blades don't really work for me either. The last time I used a Mach 3 on my noggin, I came away looking like I had just jammed my head up a menstruating elephant's cooch. No, what work the best for me are Schick's Extreme3 disposable razors, but I must admit I'm pretty curious about the Dollar Shave Club... anyone have any experience with em? Aside from they make awesome commercials and keep Alejandro workeen.

You know a superstar athlete has become a legend when his name has become synonymous with his jersey number, and there’s a banner with that number on it hanging in the rafters of every stadium of every team he ever played for. Ninety-nine? That’s Gretzky. Ten? Pele, of course. Forty-two? Jackie Robinson. Twenty-three? Jordan. Duh. But not all numbers are associated with just one player. Some, like the number 32, are associated with multiple Hall of Famers from multiple sports. Then there are others, like the number 69, that just aren’t too popular for some reason. I would have liked to see Howie Long listed for #75, but I suppose mean Joe Green is okay, too.

Just a terrible sad story about a true hero Green Beret (recipient of 4 Bronze Stars and a Purple Heart) home from his 6th deployment, who died trying to save his young daughters from a fire in their house. He ran into the house never to return. He and his daughters died. [video] Regards, Paul

That is just a shit fucking deal, and makes me quite sad.

In action movies, the rule for bullet wounds is fairly consistent: Get shot in the arm or leg? It's basically a mosquito bite. Get shot anywhere in the body? You're dead before you hit the ground. Obviously the first one only happens in movies because nobody pays to watch Bruce Willis sitting in an emergency room for an hour waiting for them to tend to his wounded shoulder. But then you have the second part -- if you shoot a bad guy in the chest or really anywhere in the torso, he's down for the count. Indiana Jones whips out his gun and shoots that swordsman somewhere in the middle of the body and just turns around and walks away, knowing the guy is dead. It's been the same with tens of thousands of movie shootouts since the days of silent-film Westerns -- one shot, one kill. In real life, unless you're one of those dudes getting shot in the head or perfectly in the heart, you're probably going to make it if you can get medical attention. According to one doctor who has a little experience with these things, as long as your heart is still beating once they wheel you into the hospital, there is a 95 percent chance of surviva; just ask John Lennon.

Hey ernie. long time reader. Always enjoyed your site and agree with most of your opinions. Was real happy to see you get your dads gun back. Thats so cool. I just bought a 2012 triumph rocket III roadster. It has a phantom red fade paint job and told it is 1 of only seven in north america. Cant wait to get it on the road. We got a snowstorm the night before i bought it Like to hear your thoughts on the bike. Toby

That. Is. One. Big. Fucking. Motorcycle. Actually I saw one before at one of the Ft Myer's Bike Nights, and I could swear I snapped a photo of it since I was so impressive to behold in person, but fuck all if I can find it. Cool bike though; it's got a bigger engine than my car. But give then you're in North Dakota -- man I hope you're not one of the fucking idiots who voted for Santorum -- your first stop should be a big ass windshield. And then some hand warmers.

Condit Hydroelectric Project was a development on the White Salmon River in the U.S. state of Washington. It was completed in 1913 to provide electrical power for local industry and is listed in the National Register of Historic Places as an engineering and architecture landmark. PacifiCorp decommissioned the project due to rising environmental costs, and the dam was intentionally breached on October 26, 2011. Condit Dam is the largest dam ever removed in the United States, although its record is not slated to outlast 2012.

Who says guys don’t make passes at girls with glasses? File that under outdated myths. Here are 28 hot girls wearing glasses and wearing them quite well.

Ernie, Thought you might be able to use this for the site. Seems the guy was intoxicated and decided to fire off a home-made cannon outside his trailer. (Yes, even here in sunny So. California, we got rednecks.) My understadning is that this guy has had prior arrests for weapons and other similar dumb stuff. Mark T.

Ah, don't sweat it, that sort of thing happens all the time down here! My favorite quote regarding this second incident goes to the Sactified Church Revolution which stated, "Wives you must encourage your husbands to get rid of guns in the house and make sure their life to Jesus Christ, because you do not know how much they are on Satan's territory."

Hey I'll bet you $20 you didn't know about this.

col. barfoot, wwii vet who fought neighborhood association over flag, has died

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