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Ahhhh, Gas Under A Buck. It Seems So Long Ago, Doesn't It?

Well, try as I might and as prepared as I was to finally hit the jackpot, I I did NOT win the lottery this weekend, dashing my hopes of eating 137,634,409 pounds of bacon. So I guess it's back to the grind.

Pistol Grip Pump On My Lap At All Times.

Okay, so I have a little confession to make. Earler -- about mid-way through March or so -- when I posted a few links to Armslist, I actually used an affiliate code since they were having a contest on who could drum up the most traffic, with the winner receiving a brand new Mossberg 500 Persuader (#5058). That's not to suggest my enthusiasm for Armslist is anything less than genuine, trust me I eyeball the Florida section twice a day usually -- on that note, WTF is up with the hunk out of the grip on that 686? But anyway, if there's free shit involved, why not take the extra step, amirite? And so right around the same time you were watching a guy stick his finger in another guy's butt on April Fool's day, they were counting the traffic and viola! I am now the proud new owner of a new Mossberg pistol grip pump. I have to kick my FFL info their way and soon it'll be Ernie-bound. This month they're giving away a brand new a Springfield XD-S compact .45, but being the super awesome guy that I am, have graciously bowed out of this contest. So if you can send some quality traffic their way -- sign up, do your thang and hey man, free gun.

I Could Use A Nice Candy, Lettuce and Tomato Sandwich Right Now.

"Black men named Trayvon get killed all of the time in America, so why does the left fail to express consistent outrage? Is there something different about the slaying of Trayvon Martin's death, or is the real problem that the left tolerates extraordinary violence against black men in America?"

I Love The Smell Of Napalm In The Morning.

"Selling my 1965 UH-1E Marine Corps Huey gunship. 205 ordered in 1965. 36 survived Vietnam. I bought it a few years ago and enjoyed researching its history and restoring it back to 1965 as issued condition from bell helicopter. It’s an awsome piece of history, and is the pinical of my collection. Nothing beats a Huey gunship period. This ship starts and runs great! There are no records for this helo. The last owners that flew this helo were the USDA FL Forestery service. They surplused this helo, to replace it with –H- models. It is being sold with no data plate and no records. Engine, trans and blades are missing serial numbers. All gun mounts, ammo cans, chutes, guns, and 2.75 rocket pods are included in the sale. All guns are non-firing dummy’s. This helicopter was hanger kept most of its life. Being sold as a static display that runs. Records have been lost. Slow fuel leak, very slow hydrolic leak. (They all leak). This might be the only chance you will have to buy a running & flying gunship at a static display price."

Sometimes You Find Knowledge In The Most Unexpected Places.

About seven million years ago I used to work at a little pet store in Rochester called Pet World, located in Ridgement Plaza. I was a teenager then, as was most of the staff but there were a handful of middle aged folks who had second jobs there to help make ends meet. One of those folks was a guy named... Tom Duchnovic (?) ...or Duchnovich? Or whatever, we just called him Tom D. Anyway, Tom D was a machinist by trade who used to put in the occasional evening shift during the week, and maybe one of the two weekend days. My guess was Tom lived a rather fast life in his younger days and as with all things, time began to catch up to him and it showed in how he carried himself. He once told me about how he and his buddies used to pass the weekends back when he was in the Marines. Each Friday after a payday, they'd all pool their paychecks, jump into a car and drive up and down the California coast until they had spent half of their money; then they'd turn around and drive all the way back. And then do it all over again two weeks later when they got paid again. Take time for the simple pleasures, I think he was trying to say.

Insert Your Favorite Easter Weekend Joke Here.

Not Only Is That Bra Awesome, But It Should Be Legally Mandatory.

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Man, Ain't That The Truth.

Multiplicity. It's a word you might've heard of before. It's basically what happens when a photographer takes multiple photographs of a single scene in which the subject happens to be doing a whole lot of different things. The photographer then crops out the subject and adds each pose into a single photo -- effectively creating clones. Here are a number of galleries in which clone's are having fun - on the beach, around a car, at the workplace, and at home. And should you feel the bite of the multiplicity bug, here's a great tutorial on how to create them yourself.

More Of The Same, No Matter Which Way You Vote: Obomney In 2012!

At this point, I don't think the coming elections are going to bring any real change to the political landscape. Either way we, the American voter, are going to get fucked.

Sir, Don't Splash The Pot, Please.

So evidently this is how they celebrate Easter in Croatia. Hint: it involves explosives, although I'm pretty sure it's some kind of gas and not black powder.

Like A Bridge Over Troubled Water.

Hey do you remember that tasteless Tuesday which began, "I once chopped pieces of foreskin off my penis with a pair of cuticle scissors. Now that I've got your attention, I'll go back and tell the whole story. Apologies if it gets a little lengthy, but this yarn deserves to be spun well." Well here, this photo might put what that guy went through into perspective for you.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

Even Bub Can Hear How Much I Hate Myself Right Now.

Remember me ranting about any idiot who actually purchased that Hornaday Zombie ammo, ought to be shot with it? Sigh. Yeah,

Don't Be Sexist! Bitches Hate That!

The Brown Pelican occurs on both coasts in the Americas. On the Atlantic Coast and Gulf Coast they distribute from Nova Scotia to Venezuela, and to the mouth of the Amazon River. On the Pacific Ocean they are found from British Columbia to south central Chile, and including the Galapagos Islands. Some immature birds may stray to inland freshwater lakes. After nesting, North American birds move in flocks further north along the coasts, returning to warmer waters for winter. Their young are hatched in broods of about 3, and eat around 150 lbs of fish in the 8–10 month period they are cared for. It eats mainly fish and amphibians as well as crustaceans. The nest location varies from a simple scrape on the ground on an island to a bulky stick nest in a low tree. These birds nest in colonies, usually on islands. Groups of Brown Pelicans often travel in single file, flying low over the water's surface.

Your Friends Might Get Me In A Rush, But Not Before I Make Your Head Into A Canoe.

A 20-pound jug of homemade explosives will take off one or both legs somewhere between the knee and hip, perhaps breaking the pelvis and shattering vertebrae as the shockwave travels up through the skeleton. After our first Marine was wounded this way—let's call him Patient Zero—he was stabilized by his squad's hospital corpsman and flown to the trauma center, a British base that abuts Camp Leatherneck, the hub for Marine operations in southwest Afghanistan. Do yourself a favor: read the rest.

Insert Your Favorite Title Here.


I Guess.... Maybe.... What? The Bananas?

Cannabis, also known as marijuana, refers to preparations of the Cannabis plant intended for use as a psychoactive drug and as medicine. In 2004, the United Nations estimated that global consumption of cannabis indicated that approximately 4.0 percent of the adult world population (162 million people) used cannabis annually, and that approximately 22.5 million of people used cannabis daily. Since the early 20th century cannabis has been subject to legal restrictions with the possession, use, and sale of cannabis preparations containing psychoactive cannabinoids currently illegal in most countries of the world; the United Nations has said that cannabis is the most used illicit drug in the world. Celebrity marijuana advocates like Woody Harrelson and Bill Maher champion the cause through official channels, while others express their support in their own ways.... take this song by Willie Nelson, Jamey Johnson, Kris Kristofferson and Snoop Dogg, titled Roll Me Up And Smoke Me, for example.

Ernie Bueller's Day Off.

Yeah I know, where the fuck was I this weekend, right? You know what? I woke up Saturday and said fuck it, I'm taking the day off. A friend of mine was down from Boston with his family, and although this wasn't a "go see Ernie" trip, we still managed to get together for a little gunpowder induced fun. You see up in Massachusetts, they can't get their hands on all the cool shit that we can down here in Flo-Rida. So as Joe was on the way back to the Ft Myers airport to drop off his brother-ion-law to catch an easly flight back, we decided to meet up at the gun range for a little what's what. Now the BIL had never fired a handgun before, so after a basic 4-rules-of-gun-safety speech and a few pointers on how to hold and how to stand, we started slow with a little .22 semiautomatic and then graduated up to a 92FS in 9mm. Grins were had by all; I did more magazine loading than I did shooting and I was a-ok with that. They we graduated to a 5.56mm rifle, which wasn't all that spot on since it was previously dialed in for 100 yards on a windy day. Aim up-and-left was the war cry for a short while. And then finally, we brought out the big stick: my Izmash made Russian Saiga 12. Joe and his BIL enjoyed it, but not half as much as the teenager in the lane next to me. Through two sets of earplugs (foam and muffs) I could hear, "OMFG! MAN HE'S GOT AN AUTOMATIC SHOTGUN!" Which it wasn't but c'mon, why spoil the fun? So after we went through four 10-round magazines, I had five shotgun shells left. I leaned over to the kid who was still staring like it was his first time at a monst truck rally, and asked him how old he was. Seventeen, came the reply. Damn. So I asked if the two adults he was with, were his parents. Yup. So I tapped them on the shoulder and asked if it was okay if their son blasted away on the Saiga. Thumbs up. So I popped in the remaining five shells, held the Saiga downrange, and handed it over to the 17 year old kid. As I reached over to flip off the safety I cautioned, "Keep it tight against your shoulder, and lean into it." Which he did as best he could but at maybe 120lbs, he didn't have the mass to fight the recoil and with his shoulder flying back violently, the Saiga stovepiped on the first round. And the next. So as he shot the remaining three, I stood behind him with my hands pushed into his right shoulder so he wouldn't get knocked backwards and allow the gun to cycle correctly. Anyway, the kid enjoyed it. And I enjoyed my day off.

Keystone beer is a product of the Coors Brewing Company in Golden, Colorado. It was first introduced in Chico, California in September 1989. Keystone can be found in can, keg, and occasionally bottled form. Keystone Light has a 4.13% ABV

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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