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Ernie's House of Whoopass! April 3, 2012
April 3, 2012

Pistol Grip Pump On My Lap At All Times.

Okay, so I have a little confession to make. Earler -- about mid-way through March or so -- when I posted a few links to Armslist, I actually used an affiliate code since they were having a contest on who could drum up the most traffic, with the winner receiving a brand new Mossberg 500 Persuader (#5058). That's not to suggest my enthusiasm for Armslist is anything less than genuine, trust me I eyeball the Florida section twice a day usually -- on that note, WTF is up with the hunk out of the grip on that 686? But anyway, if there's free shit involved, why not take the extra step, amirite? And so right around the same time you were watching a guy stick his finger in another guy's butt on April Fool's day, they were counting the traffic and viola! I am now the proud new owner of a new Mossberg pistol grip pump. I have to kick my FFL info their way and soon it'll be Ernie-bound. This month they're giving away a brand new a Springfield XD-S compact .45, but being the super awesome guy that I am, have graciously bowed out of this contest. So if you can send some quality traffic their way -- sign up, do your thang and hey man, free gun.

Anyway. I think I'll toss down the gauntlet and issue a game challenge for Color Cleaner 2. Each click will remove a shape. But you have a limited number of clicks to use each level. Plan your shape elimination to move bits together for group clicking. Some shapes fall, some shapes swing, but they all must be removed. Right now I'm on level 15 and climbing.

Perrier is a brand of bottled mineral water made from a spring in Vergeze in the Gard departement of France. The spring is naturally carbonated. Both the water and natural carbon dioxide gas are captured independently and in the bottling process, the carbon dioxide gas is added so that the level of carbonation in bottled Perrier is the same as the water of the Vergeze spring. It is one of the most commonly available bottled waters in France. Most Perrier bottles are green and all have a distinctive teardrop shape. In August 2001, the company introduced a new bottling format using polyethylene terephthalate to offer Perrier in plastic, a change that took 11 years to decide which material would best help retain both the water's flavor and its purported "50 million bubbles."

Hay is grass, legumes or other herbaceous plants that have been cut, dried, and stored for use as animal fodder, particularly for grazing livestock such as cattle, horses, goats, and sheep. Hay is also fed to pets such as rabbits and guinea pigs. Pigs may be fed hay, but they do not digest it as efficiently as more fully herbivorous animals. Hay is fed when or where there is not enough pasture or rangeland on which to graze an animal, when grazing is unavailable due to weather (such as during the winter) or when lush pasture by itself is too rich for the health of the animal. It is also fed during times when an animal is unable to access pasture, such as when animals are kept in a stable or barn.

I ever tell you about the time I met Lee Trevino ? It was on the the Senior PGA tour back in 1994, only it was a Pro-Am round, back when they played the Bank of America Championship . Hanscom AFB was about 20 minutes from the course so we 'volunteered' to help with groundskeeping duties -- aka emptying trash barrels -- and they donated (some money) to the Junior Enlisted club. I have three distinct memories from that first day. First, I stood ten feet from Bobby Orr when he teed off on the first green, and held Pete Rose's water when it was his turn. Second, I was driving a golf cart (collecting trash) and evidently I kicked up some dust which billowed across the one of the fairways. Some pro -- can't remember his name if I tried -- who was teeing off on that hole happened to hit a bad shot, and proceeded to rip me a new asshole the first chance he got. I wasn't allowed to drive golf carts any more after that. And three, Lee Trevino was an asshole. Seriously. I met him as he was coming off (one of the later greens, 16th maybe? 17th?) and tired and sweaty after a day of hauling other people's shit, held out my hat and a Sharpie hoping for an autograph. That motherfucker gave me a stiff arm like he was Bo Jackson and I was Brian Bosworth. I never forgot that. Anyway, I hope Michael Jordan is more gracious than that prick.

You ever decide to ride thru the Mid-West, let me know. Beautiful sites thru here. Look up Fort Davidson in Pilot Knob Missouri. The 150 year civil war re-enactment is coming soon. My neighbor, a self made engineer, is building a covered wagon. He's an old miner from this area and can fix or build anything. Take care and our best to you and yours. Bob

Opening World Series Pitch – So many years ago. This is our country at one of its best moments.... Rebecca

Rhinoplasty, also known as a nose job, is a plastic surgery procedure for correcting and reconstructing the form, restoring the functions, and aesthetically enhancing the nose, by resolving nasal trauma, congenital defect, respiratory impediment, and a failed primary rhinoplasty. In the surgeries — closed rhinoplasty and open rhinoplasty — an otolaryngologist, a maxillofacial surgeon, or a plastic surgeon, creates a functional, aesthetic, and facially proportionate nose by separating the nasal skin and the soft tissues from the osseo-cartilaginous nasal framework, correcting them as required for form and function, suturing the incisions, and applying a stent to immobilize the corrected nose to ensure the proper healing of the surgical cuts.

Beautiful female athletes are everywhere. They are on TV, in magazines, on the web and are included in my articles. They are hard to miss. But some of these women are being rated from one photo shoot. They are being judged based on a one time occurrence. These female athletes are being exposed in a positive manner but people are using the same old photographs every time. Enough is enough. It is time we move on to something sexier and up to date. No more 2003 photo grabs. Here are the most overused hot pics ranked solely on the amount of overexposure.

Each year they are hunted, gassed and crammed into containers before being milked and finally beheaded. Even after death, they may be skinned for cash and the amusement of a throng of spectators. The unwilling stars of this bloody spectacle are the rattlesnakes of Sweetwater, Texas, which are rounded up every March by hunters who receive about $5 a pound for the unfortunate reptiles.

Back in the days of real photography, fine cameras and great film... 4 x 5 inch film & a great lens equals these 70 year old photos. Eat your hearts out digital Canons and Nikons... Greg

Well I have to admit, those are a lot better quality images than these, which somebody sent in this morning. Meanwhile, in Norway.

How's it going with those New Year's resolutions you made? If the lose weight one isn't working out as you planned, put down your bag of Cheetos and take a look at these 27 people who emerged from their fatness and stepped right into hotness. Seeing these weight loss transformations may inspire you to get back on track starting with this ginger who yes, may have no soul, but she does have an absolutely amazing rack. More of her before/after photos can be seen here.

Birth defect is the name people use to say that when a baby is born, there are some problems which had arisen. Birth defects are usually congenital; it means they are with the child from birth. However, only some of these defects are visible at birth. Some birth defects are with the child for many years before they are visible. Some birth defects are more serious than others. About 3 percent of all babies have what is called a major physical anomaly. This is something that either impacts the way certain things look, or how they work.

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