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Ernie's House of Whoopass! May 7, 2012
May 7, 2012

"Treat All As Your Own Self, Do Not Have A Double Standard." - Sri Sathya Sai Baba

CALLING AL SHARPTON, COME IN AL SHARPTON. JESSE JACKSON, DO YOU READ ME? HELLO? HELLO, IS ANYONE OUT THERE? My fucking God, can you imagine how this might have turned out if Gamble were armed and legally justified to STAND HIS GROUND? Oh the humanity.

Which kind of brings me into another silly point. I was browsing through some old Ernicam photos and came across this gem from a local USMC recruiting office. It just struck me a humorous, you know, no firearms allowed in the fucking Marine Corps office. You know, the same Marines that turn you into bad ass killing machines. I'm sure this restriction isn't at the request of the Marines' themselves, but more a byproduct of stupid ass bureaucracy. You see, it kind of goes like this. For me, I have a permit to carry a firearm within the state of Florida (and any other state that offers reciprocity). But Federal land is technically no state; therefore my permit is invalid. At least that's what I presume the mind set to be. Of course this means I can not carry into: polling places, federal buildings, military bases, and as incredibly stupid as it sounds, the Post Office. I say the latter is incredibly stupid because if there's any Federal location that I probably do need to protect myself, it's probably the Post Office. I mean when you have your own Wikipedia entry for "Going Postal" that kind of spells it out, yes? There is a lawsuit challenging the Post Office ban, and it was just cleared to work its way through federal court -- a place where you can't carry, haha -- not that I think it'll make much of a difference in the long run. I think it's going to be hurry-up-and-mail-your-package-and-get-the-fuck-back-outside for quite a while.

Movies. Yes, I was one of the people who threw a few bucks into the pot and contributed towards the Avengers making $200 million this past weekend. And while normally I wouldn't advocate this, I opted to see it in 3d at an IMAX theatre. And just to be completely clear, The Avengers fucking rocked. Seriously. One of the best fucking action movies I've seen since 2008's John Rambo, and you know how fucking excited I got about that. I won't give any of the plot details away, nor will I do any spoilers. Like the first in many other franchise films, this first half of this movie focuses on lots of friction between each other, before finally setting their differences aside and coming together to battle a greater evil. But here is a tiny tidbit which will hopefully entice you into seeing it for yourself without ruining the experience. Robert Downey Jr/Iron Man? Completely upstaged in this one. No, not by Batman, but by the fucking Hulk, if you can believe it. And with absolutely ZERO dialogue. Yes, Downey does his best to bring his quick witted one liners to the game -- and he does to some degree -- but he gets totally fucking dunked on by The Hulk. Seriously. Iron man is the old and busted comic relief, The Hulk is the new hotness. Again, no spoiler but when The Hulk is chasing after Loki towards the end of the film, and Loki turns and yells, "STOP!"? Make sure you don't have anything in your mouth because if you do, you're going to spit that shit all over ten rows in front of you. For realz. Fucking. Hilarious. I completely give The Avengers two enthusiastic thumbs up.

I'm a chick being a chicken on a zipline (fixed!) -- Enjoy, Carrie

Hey Ernie, Thought you might enjoy this composite picture of Saturday night "Super Moon" over the Rocky Mountain Airport Control Tower. alek

My instant reactions to those are as follows. Carrie, this is for you. And Alek, this one is yours.

It's a little like a party, but one where the guests of honor are corpses. There is a definite festive atmosphere in the crowd as the tomb is opened. By the light of candles, close relatives enter the dark, earthy-smelling crypt to retrieve the remains of their ancestors. The dead emerge wearing their shrouds, known as lambas, and are laid out on the ground ready to be unwrapped — the bones lovingly cleaned, and the remains rewrapped in their new burial cloths, ready to join in the celebrations.

Oh, and Agent Coulson dies.

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