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Ernie's House of Whoopass! May 17, 2012

May 17, 2012

One Would Think That Would be Obvious, But Nooooo.

One man gives his brilliant fucking solution to the perennial problem of cats pissing on his car. Brilliant!

Unless you've been living under a rock for the past decade, you've no doubt watched this iconic scene fromm Pulp Fiction, where Jules recites a combination of Ezekiel 25:17 and Psalm 23, just before blowing away the big brain on Brad. Here's the catch: Sonny Chiba did it back in 1976 and in case you don't recognize the name Sonny Chiba, perhaps this will refresh your memory. That's right, Sonny Chiba is Hattori fucking Hanzo -- the guy who pioneered the x-ray punch -- and this is just one of several iconic scenes ripped off from other movies.

A seborrheic keratosis is a noncancerous benign skin growth that originates in keratinocytes. Like liver spots, seborrheic keratoses are seen more often as people age. In fact they are sometimes humorously referred to as the "barnacles of old age". They appear in various colors, from light tan to black. They are round or oval, feel flat or slightly elevated, and range in size from very small to more than 2.5 centimetres across. They can resemble warts, though they have no viral origins. They can also resemble melanoma skin cancer, though they are unrelated to melanoma as well. Because only the top layers of the epidermis are involved, seborrheic keratoses are often described as having a pasted on appearance. Some dermatologists refer to seborrheic keratoses as "seborrheic warts"; these lesions, however, are usually not associated with HPV, and therefore such nomenclature should be discouraged.

The Diavel is the second cruiser motorcycle from Ducati, after the Indiana of 1986–1990. The 2011 model year Diavel debuted in November 2010 at the EICMA motorcycle show in Milan. The engine is a retuned version of the 1,198.4 cc Testastretta from the 1198 superbike, now called the Testastretta 11° for its 11° valve overlap (reduced from 41°). Glynn Kerr, design columnist for Motorcycle Consumer News, says he created the original Diavel concept sketches freelance for Ducati's design chief Pierre Terblanche in February 2002. In the US, most Diavel buyers appear to be existing riders age 50 and over, with more women than usual attracted to the bike, and some Harley-Davidson owners trading their bikes for the new Ducati power cruiser.

Ernie - I was asked by the family to write the obituary for one Bob Edgar of Cody Wyoming, who could rightfully be called the last Frontiersman out here in the American West . He was an archaeologist, historian, author, artist , preservationist, hunting guide, trapper , and a consumate gun enthusiast in the classic tradition. Of interest to your readers might be this tidbit: Bob Edgar's handgun of choice was the Colt .45 Army Single Action c. 1873 and he developed a "hot" load for it. Shooting a 10-inch barrel model, he could make a chest shot at 700 yards with that pistol. That is not a typo: 700 yards. He took several Pronghorn antelope on the full run with it, killed a few elk with that pistol, besides putting on countless shooting exhibitions. You weren't on the social register in Cody Wyoming if Bob Edgar hadn't shot something out of your mouth or hand at 40 paces. Bob Edgar was a man of the Old West living in the 20th and 21st centuries; a time traveler. Oh by the way , he mostly singlehandedly located, disassembled, moved, and reassembled log-for log 22 pre-1900 historic buildings from northern Wyoming and southern Montana to create Trail Town, an outdoor frontier museum. Then he filled the building with real artifacts. He even moved the lonely graves of historic or infamous characters to a proper new cemetary at Trail Town , starting with the actual mountain man that the 1972 Robert Redford movie "Jeremiah Johnson was based on . I helped him excavate and move three of those crusty personages, so I guess that makes me a bona fide graverobber to my friends, or forensic archaeologist assistant to the authorities. Edgar's Trail Town and his own storied life were the Real West not of the Hollywood or Marlboro persuasion. There will never be another man like Bob Edgar, or a shootist of that caliber. He left a helluva legacy for us all. Half his ashes were scattered at an old outlaw cabin once frequented by the actual Butch Cassidy from that other movie. The remaining half went out under a 21-gun salute at Trail Town last Saturday afternoon, seven of his own Colts fired three times each. Here's a link to the Obit, which was written as an homage. Dewey, in Cody, Wyoming

Old and busted: Sharktopus. The new hotness: Piranhaconda.

Beautiful athletes, attention-grabbing WAGs and chatty reporters continue to shadow the athletic realm with flashy smiles and provocative endeavors. But who is truly the most popular, you ask? Based on Google's stats, we're going to present how many times each lady's name appears on the Internet. Grab that calculator. Now let's begin.

A three-minute journey through the last 250 years of our history, from the start of the Industrial Revolution to Rio+20. Spoiler: things started going to shit around 1950.

Ernie, I read your story about the Mexican family helping the stranded driver and not accepting compensation. Later on I found this gem. Pick your battles, I guess. V/R, Cory

In reference to your 5/15/12 article on the Vet beating in Tampa -- men beat and rob World War II vet - John

Ernie- I don't think you are much of a hockey fan but maybe this will peak your interest in the sport, these happened to catch my (and the the camera man's) attention during the Kings - Coyotes game last night. - Mike.

Décolletage is the upper part of a woman's torso, between her waist and neck, comprising her neck, shoulders, back and chest, that is exposed by the style of her clothing. However, the term is most commonly applied to a neckline which reveals or emphasizes cleavage. Low-cut necklines are a feature of ball gowns, evening gowns, leotards and swimsuits, among other fashions. Although décolletage does not itself prescribe the extent of exposure of a woman's upper chest, the design of a décolleté garment takes into account current fashions, aesthetics, social norms and the social occasion when a garment will be worn, and exposing of nipples or areolae is almost always considered toplessness or partial nudity, and not considered socially acceptable in most modern cultures, though that has not always been the case.

Mehndi is the application of henna as a temporary form of skin decoration in India, Pakistan and Bangladesh as well as by expatriate communities from those countries. Mehndi decorations became fashionable in the West in the late 1990s, where they are sometimes called henna tattoos. Henna is typically applied during special occasions like weddings and Muslim Festivals such as Eid-ul-Fitr and Eid-ul-Azha . Similarly in Hindu festivals like Karva Chauth, Diwali, Bhaidooj and Teej. In some Hindu festivals, every woman tries to have Henna done on her hands and feet. It is usually drawn on the palms and feet, where the color will be darkest because the skin contains higher levels of keratin which binds temporarily to lawsone, the colorant of henna. Henna was originally used as a form of decoration mainly for brides.

judge napolitano: first patriot to shoot down a government spy drone will be a hero

moo-tal combat! fujairah's bonkers bullfighting tradition - don't worry not cruel like spanish bullfighting

homeboy on house arrest needs to get home in 15 minutes or he heads back to jail