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Ernie's House of Whoopass! May 21, 2012
May 21, 2012

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend. I've Come To Talk With You Again.

So yesterday afternoon I let the pooches out the front door, only to discover a rather morbid sight. Evidently an egg fell out of a bird's nest that was somewhere high up in the Royal Palms in front of my house, and made a balut omlette on my sidewalk. It took me a few seconds to figure out what I was looking at, since my first thought was an unusually large bird turd, most likely from one of the ospreys that call my neighborhood home. Ants had just started to take notice of the carcass, whose unopened purple sockets stared vacantly into the summer sky. Remnants of the shell seemed to be light blue, so I presume it is/was/supposed to be a robin? The victim was stretched out, but I don't know if that was from the impact from such a great height, or the final movements of a creature who entered this world far too early. I had to clean it up quickly -- i.e. Bianca would have tried to eat the fucking thing -- so after some handy hosework, all that remains of the fatal tumble us this stain on the sidewalk. Either way, dead baby birds are just creepy, man.

Just a gentle reminder: if SOPA/PIPA/CISPA passes, the woman who shot this video could go to jail for 10 years for copyright infringement, simply because of the song in the background. And in related news, Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer demands armed protection for himself while denying the right to keep and bear arms to the rest of us. Go on about your business, citizen. And just for the record -- yes, yes, yes, not all, no, no, yes, yes, no, no, yes, no, hell yes, no, no, yes, yes, no, yes, yes, maybe half, yes, no, hell-yes, no, no, yes, no, no, yes, yes, yes, no, no, yes, yes, yes, and yes.

The skuas are a group of seabirds with about seven species forming the family Stercorariidae and the genus Stercorarius. Skuas nest on the ground in temperate and Arctic regions, and are long-distance migrants. They have even been sighted at the South Pole. Outside the breeding season, skuas take fish, offal, and carrion. Many are partial kleptoparasites, comprising up to 95% of the feeding methods of wintering birds, by chasing gulls, terns and other seabirds to steal their catches, regardless of the size of the species attacked. The larger species, such as the Great Skua, also regularly kill and eat adult birds, such as puffins and gulls, and have been recorded as killing birds as large as a Grey Heron. On the breeding grounds they commonly eat lemmings, and the eggs and young of other birds. In the Southern oceans and Antarctica region, some skua species -- especially the South Polar Skua -- will readily scavenge the carcasses at breeding colonies of penguins and seals, sometimes taking live penguin chicks. In these areas, skuas seem to defer to the considerably larger giant petrels.

Treyvon is alive! The description is spot on….Or is that profiling? -Ryan

Ahhhh, sports. When things go the way we want, it's exhilarating, incredible, inspiring, and heartwarming. When things don't go the way we want, it's boring, depressing, disenchanting, and heartbreaking. In either case, sports fans tend to lose their minds a little bit. And generally, I'm not a huge fan of conspiracy theories in politics or science -- here is Neil deGrasse Tyson talks about why he thinks the world won't end in 2012 -- I prefer to keep my theoretical skepticism confined to the world of sports. There's a lot less at stake, so I can afford to be a little delusional. So let's take a look at some of the greatest conspiracy theories in the world of sports. None of them are quite as out there as some of the 9/11 conspiracy theories, but some are still pretty far-fetched. Kevin Costner, banging Cal Ripken's wife, indeed.

The Welsh Springer Spaniel is a breed of dog and a member of the spaniel family. Thought to be comparable to the old Land Spaniel, they are similar to the English Springer Spaniel and historically have been referred to as both the Welsh Spaniel and the Welsh Cocker Spaniel. They were relatively unknown until a succession of victories in dog trials by the breed increased its popularity. Following recognition by The Kennel Club in 1902, the breed gained the modern name of Welsh Springer Spaniel. The breed's coat only comes in a single colour combination of white with red markings, usually in a piebald pattern. Loyal and affectionate, they can become very attached to family members and are wary of strangers. Health conditions are limited to those common among many breeds of dog, although they are affected more than average by hip dysplasia and some eye conditions.

Hi Ernie - With Memorial Day approaching I thought I'd forward this to you - As always, Cheers, Mike

Foil highlighting is the process of using foil to separate strands of hair which will be lightened from strands of hair which will remain its natural color. The process is done by applying lightener to the hair that has been woven and separated using an applicator brush. The foil is then folded to protect the hair and surrounding area during the "processing" time. This is the amount of time required to achieve the desired results. In highlighting hair, hydrogen peroxide mixed with pigment is used to change the color of the strand. This process is also used in applying "lowlights" to the hair. In this process, hair dyes are used to create strands of hair that are darker than the natural color.

For all the weird and wonderful ways we have of getting high in the real world, the fictional universes of pop culture are far more ripe. The brainjuices of dozens of authors, writers, programmers and directors have congealed into smokeables, injectibles and swallowables, all the express purpose of tweaking your body in ways it wasn't meant to go. Many of them are stereotypically DRUGS ARE BAD and many videogames contain some sort of addictive stimulants, but these 20 go above and beyond to provide the coolest and most important trips of fiction.

CIDO Group was founded in 1994, and has five key products: juice, mineral water, carbonated soft drinks, non-carbonated soft drinks and cider. The CIDO brand is one of Latvia's most well-known brands, and the combined share in the retail segment of the Latvian juice and non-carbonated soft drink market is appoximately 40%. This makes CIDO the largest supplier of soft drinks in Latvia. In 2004 it was taken over by Royal Unibrew, the second largest brewery group in Denmark

teachers' message to parents: we don't suck; you suck.

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