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I Think I Got More Paint On The Floor, Than On The Walls.

If you've ever done any painting before, you know it's virtually impossible to avoid a few drips and splatters. Occasionally, those drips and splatters can become a flood in cases where an entire can of paint is accidentally overturned or tipped. Fortunately, there is a way to avoid splattering or spilling paint all over your beautiful hardwood floors or favorite bookcase. Drop cloths and tarps provide protection for a variety of painting and sanding tasks, whether you're repainting your entire house inside and out, touching up a wall or redoing the ceiling of your porch.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

He Picked Bill And W? Well Maybe There's Still Hope For Us Yet?

A floating dock is a platform or ramp supported by pontoons. It is usually joined to the shore with a ramp that rests upon the dock on rollers, to adjust for the vertical movement of the dock. The dock is usually held in place by vertical poles embedded in the soil under the water or by anchored cables. Frequently used in marinas for small boats, this type of dock maintains a fixed vertical relationship to watercraft secured to it, independent of tidal, river or lake elevation. It is less suited for larger craft as the docks cannot support large structures.

Unless You Plan On Discovering Immortality, It's Now Or Never.

A transit of Venus across the Sun takes place when the planet Venus passes directly between the Sun and Earth, becoming visible against the solar disk. During a transit, Venus can be seen from Earth as a small black disk moving across the face of the Sun. The duration of such transits is usually measured in hours (the transit of 2004 lasted six hours). A transit is similar to a solar eclipse by the Moon. While the diameter of Venus is more than 3 times that of the Moon, Venus appears smaller, and travels more slowly across the face of the Sun, because it is much farther away from Earth. The next transit of Venus occurs today, between 5 and 6 June 2012, and will be the last Venus transit this century; the next transits of Venus will be in December 2117 and December 2125.

"Rangers, Lead The Way!" ~ Colonel Francis W. Dawson on the Normandy Invasion, June 6, 1944.

On the night of 5 June 1944, a force of 181 men, took off from RAF Tarrant Rushton in Dorset, southern England in six Horsa gliders to capture Pegasus Bridge, and also "Horsa Bridge", a few hundred yards to the east, over the Orne River. The object of this action was to prevent German armor from crossing the bridges and attacking the eastern flank of the landings at Sword Beach. Five of the Ox and Bucks's gliders landed as close as 47 yards from their objectives from 16 minutes past midnight. The attackers poured out of their battered gliders, completely surprising the German defenders, and took the bridges within 10 minutes. They lost two men in the process: Lance-Corporal Fred Greenhalghdrowned in a nearby pond when his glider landed, and Lieutenant Den Brotheridge was killed crossing the bridge in the first minutes of the assault and thus became the first member of the invading Allied armies to die as a result of enemy fire on D-Day. The Germans knew the invasion was imminent if not the exact location; Major Hans Schmidt, in command of the bridges, had been told that they were one of the most critical points in Normandy. The German defenders however were not on full alert and only two sentries were on duty when the gliders landed. The sound of a gunshot alerted the two sentries on the bridge. As Brotheridge's platoon attacked, one ran off shouting "paratroops" while the second fired a flare gun to alert nearby defenders. Brotheridge shot him while other members of his platoon cleared the trenches and pillbox with grenades. Alerted by the flare, the German machine gunners opened fire at the men on the bridge, mortally wounding Lieutenant Brotheridge as he threw a grenade. The successful taking of the bridges played an important role in limiting the effectiveness of a German counter-attack in the days and weeks following the invasion. A memorial plaque to commemorate the events of Den Brotheridge's death was unveiled at Smethwick Council House on 2 April 1995 by his daughter, Margaret Brotheridge.

There Is No Way They Knew What They Were Saying Back Then, Right?

The first conveyorized automatic car washes appeared in the late 1930s. Conveyorized automatic car washes consist of tunnel-like buildings into which customers (or attendants) drive. Some car washes have their customers pay through a computerized POS, or point of sale unit, also known as an "automatic cashier", which may take the place of a human cashier. The mechanism inputs the wash PLU into a master computer or a tunnel controller automatically. When the sale is automated, after paying the car is put into a line-up called the stack or queue. The stack moves sequentially, so the wash knows what each car purchased. After pulling up to the tunnel entrance, an attendant usually guides the customer onto the conveyor. At some washes, the system will send the correct number of rollers automatically, based on tire sensors. The tire sensor lets the wash know where the wheels are and how far apart they are. After the mitter or top brush(es) the car may pass through a second set of wraparounds. This may also be where high pressure water streams are used to clean difficult to reach parts of the vehicle. The car generally passes over an under carriage wash and/or has high pressure nozzles pointed at it from various positions.

From My Cold Dead Hands. Which Could Mean Zombie Hands, I Suppose.

Problem: In 1987, 27-year-old Michael Robert Ryan, armed with a semi-automatic rifle, a semi-automatic shotgun and a handgun, shot and killed sixteen people including his mother, then fatally shot himself in what would come to be known as the Hungerford Massacre. Solution: Ban semi-automatic rifles and restrict shotguns to three shells, because after all, these inanimate objects are to blame, right? That will end gun violence in the United Kingdom... Wrong! New problem: Nine years later, 43-year-old Thomas Hamilton entered a school armed with four handguns, shooting and killing sixteen children and one adult before committing suicide. This now referred to as the Dunblane Massacre. Solution: ban on private ownership of handguns. Problem fixed for good now, amirite? No. Because despite all these restrictions, four years after that in 2010, Derrick Bird, uses a shotgun and a .22 rifle to kill 12 people and injure 11 others before killing himself in Cumbria, England. What does this teach us? Simple: you can not legislate crazy.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

Is It Sad That I Have All The Local Happy Hour Times Mapped Out?

The 5-toed feet of a gecko are covered with elastic hairs called setae and the end of these hairs are split into nanoscale structures called spatulae. The sheer abundance and proximity to the surface of these spatulae make it sufficient for van der Waals forces alone to provide the required adhesive strength. Geckos have no difficulty mastering vertical walls and are apparently capable of adhering themselves to just about any surface, except Boston Terriers. Following the discovery of the gecko’s adhesion mechanism in 2002, which is based on van der Waals forces, biomimetic adhesives have become the topic of a major research effort. Synthetic setae emulate the setae found on the toes of a gecko and scientific research in this area is driven towards the development of dry adhesives.

Who The Hell Wants To Go To A Baseball Game Only To Watch A Rain Delay?

Rain delays suck. That is unless the team happens to be owned by... BILL FUCKIN MURRAY!

Boy, Verizon Wireless Is Just Intent On Fucking Everybody, Aren't They?

First my cable provider, now my cell provider. I just might be headed back to my old school flip phone after all.

Happy Flag Day. Well For Us, Anyway, Fuck You Europeans.

In the United States Flag Day is celebrated on June 14. It commemorates the adoption of the flag of the United States, which happened that day by resolution of the Second Continental Congress in 1777. The United States Army also celebrates the Army Birthday on this date; Congress adopted "the American continental army" after reaching a consensus position in the Committee of the Whole on June 14, 1775. In 1916, President Woodrow Wilson issued a proclamation that officially established June 14 as Flag Day; in August 1949, National Flag Day was established by an Act of Congress. Flag Day is not an official federal holiday, though on June 14, 1937, Pennsylvania became the first (and only) U.S. state to celebrate Flag Day as a state holiday, beginning in the town of Rennerdale. One of the longest-running Flag Day parades is held annually in Quincy, Massachusetts, which began in 1952, celebrating its 59th year in 2010. The 59th Annual Appleton Wisconsin 2009 Flag Day Parade featured the U.S. Navy. The largest Flag Day parade is held annually in Troy, New York, which bases its parade on the Quincy parade and typically draws 50,000 spectators.

I Was Hating On The French Before Hating On The French Was Cool.

Two days ago I linked this video of Mr Cleanup himself, Ihor Stetkewycz, who don't take no orders from no women. So then you do take some orders from some women? Unfortunately, Ihor's mother bought him pants that were ten sizes too big and now he's facing indecent exposure charges. JUSTICE FOR IHOR! (TM)

Insert Your Favorite Father's Day Weekend Joke Here.

Everyone Wants To See This, For One Reason or Another.

Old and busted: zombie prank in Miami, Florida. The new hotness: zombie prank in Melbourne, Australia.

Insert Your Favorite Title Here.

The RealDoll is a life-size sex doll manufactured by Abyss Creations in San Marcos, California, and sold worldwide. It has a poseable PVC skeleton with steel joints and silicone flesh, which is the state-of-the-art for life-like human body simulation. Their primary function is to serve as sex partners. This activity can be accompanied by certain preparations such as dressing them up in different types of clothing, changing wigs or makeup, and even adjusting body temperature by use of electric blankets or baths. The RealDoll is designed to be durable and recreate the appearance, texture, and weight of the human female and male form. "Charlie", the first male RealDoll, was retired in 2008 and replaced with two male bodies featuring the interchangeable face system that the female dolls have long enjoyed. While there are still fewer male options to choose from (two bodies and three heads) new options will continue to be added in the future.

You Can Go Out And Buy More Bananas, You Know.

The Papal Basilica of Saint Peter, officially known in Italian as Basilica Papale di San Pietro in Vaticano and commonly known as Saint Peter's Basilica, is a Late Renaissance church located within the Vatican City. Saint Peter's Basilica has the largest interior of any Christian church in the world. While it is neither the official mother church of the Roman Catholic Church nor the cathedral of the Pope as Bishop of Rome, Saint Peter's is regarded as one of the holiest Catholic sites. It has been described as "holding a unique position in the Christian world"

Ahh, Rochester. I Can Always Count On You To Stay Gangsta.

As I'm sure you're aware, this past Monday in my home town of good ol Rochester, New York, a handful of little piece of shit teenagers ripped into an elderly woman serving as their bus monitor, ultimately bring her to tears. Let me begin by saying this actually happened in a suburb of Rochester, called Greece. And Greece was, is, and always will be the land where spoiled little little cunts live. To say that someone from Greece is from Rochester, would be like saying someone from Newark is from New York City. Anyway, after being verbally threatened with a knife, the comment that finally broke Karen Klein was when one little fuck suggested that this woman's entire should family kill themselves to get away from her; she has been a widow for 17 years and her eldest son committed suicide ten years ago. Anyway, the Greece Police are involved -- they're the same stupid fuckholes who called me and my entire family in to make statements after my mother passed -- and I doubt a goddamn thing is going to be done about it. On the plus side though, someone started a littl evacation fund for her, and when I donated yesterday afternoon around 1pm or so, it was at $24,000; far surpassing its $5,000 goal. As of noon today? $200,000. And just for the record, my sister-in-law is friends with Karen Klein's daughter, and knows this woman personally.

My Plan is Coming Along Just Swimmingly Down Here In The Sunshine State. More Bath Salts, Anyone?

Here's a little bit of Kill Bill trivia for you. The yellow jump suit that Black Mamba wears for the majority of "Kill Bill" is the same as the jump suit worn by which legendary Kung Fu actor Bruce Lee in "Game of Death". Although Lee appeared in the beginning of this movie, it was infact a body double who played him for the majority of the film, as he died shortly into the filming process. However, it's possible that Tarantino first hit upon the idea of the yellow track-suit after watching Battle Royale. Tarantino is a huge fan of the violent film; so much so that he decided to recruit Chiaki to be his Go Go. QT also gave credence to the film big time when he showed up at the Boston screening of Kill Bill in a Battle Royale T-shirt.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

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Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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