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Ernie's House of Whoopass! June 18, 2012
June 18, 2012

Everyone Wants To See This, For One Reason or Another.

Old and busted: zombie prank in Miami, Florida. The new hotness: zombie prank in Melbourne, Australia.

In fluid dynamics, drag (sometimes called air resistance or fluid resistance) refers to forces which act on a solid object in the direction of the relative fluid flow velocity. Unlike other resistive forces such as dry friction, which is nearly independent of velocity, drag forces depend on velocity. Drag forces always decrease fluid velocity relative to the solid object in the fluid's path.

In Waterworld, Kevin Costner must protect a small girl from fiendish pirates because her back is tattooed with a "map" to Dryland, the supposed last piece of Earth above water. The problem? It's in Chinese. So, after a whole slew of maritime death and destruction, and after blowing a $200 million budget, Costner and company defeat their enemies, decode the map using a copy of China Airlines magazine and head off to Dryland. The idea is that the tattoo is coordinates in Chinese for Mount Everest. Well, that's what they're supposed to be. In reality, Costner's band of adventurers should have spent a long time drifting around the world in confusion, because the tattoo gets it wrong by several thousand miles.

Funnel cake or funny cake is a regional food originally associated with the Pennsylvania Dutch region. Funnel cakes are made by pouring unleavened batter into hot cooking oil in a circular pattern and deep frying the overlapping mass until golden-brown. When made at concession stands, a pitcher with an integral funnel spout is employed. Funnel cakes are typically served plain with powdered sugar, or with jam, cinnamon, Nutella, fresh fruit, or other toppings. Funnel cakes are popular in North America at carnivals, fairs, sporting events, and seaside resorts. In the book I'm Just Here for the Food, Alton Brown recommends they be baked with choux pastry, which expands from steam produced by its high water content.

In case you haven't seen it. I just about pissed myself laughing. Conan O'brian and Triumph the Insult Dog strike again. Ryan

Another pooch named "Lucky" - Greg

Hand dryers are electric devices found in public washrooms that are used to dry hands. They may either operate with a button or automatically using an infrared sensor. According to manufacturers, hand dryers can cut costs by as much as 99.5% --for example a company may spend $2340.00 per year on paper towels, where as the hand dryer expenditure would be as low as $14.00 per year, although this will vary due to cost of paper towels and cost of electricity. Due to the reduction in litter and waste in comparison with paper towels, which cannot be recycled, hand dryers are also claimed to be better for the environment. One source claims that an average fast-food restaurant using paper towels, annually, results in 9 fully-grown trees being cut down, and 1,000 pounds of landfill waste created, though many are often unaware of these consequences.

The youngest known murderer was only three years old. Murderous children typically come from abusive or neglectful households. Unfortunately, it’s the children and their victims who must pay the price for the sometimes horrific state of their households, whether it’s in death or with a life sentence. Here are 20 of the world’s youngest murderers, including Terilynn Wagner who murdered nine people before her 14th birthday.

Way back in December of 2011, right when the investigation into Fast and Furious was approaching it's one year anniversary, Mark wrote in and commented...

Although you do say at least one, actually, it's two federal agents that has been proven so far Ernie: Jaime Zapata never seems to be remembered which is a real shame. On February 15, 2011, 32-year-old Zapata was killed in the line of duty in San Luis Potosi, Mexico. Zapata was on assignment at the U.S. Embassy in Mexico City when his and fellow agent Victor Avila's SUV was ambushed by members of the Los Zetas drug cartel, according to Mexican and American authorities. Avila was wounded and Zapata killed after identifying themselves as U.S. diplomats. One of the guns used in the shooting was traced to the BAFTE gun-walking operation where weapons were bought in bulk and agents were told not to interdict them. Mark

Zapata if you will remember, is the poor bastard who happened to fall prety to a first world convience: automatic door locks. Anyway, right after it happened, Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano swore up and down that there was no connection between Agent Zapata's death, and Fast and Furious. Guess what? It looks like that fucking bitch flat out lied; a Report of Investigation shows murdered ICE Agent Jaime Zapata was actually fucking investigating Fast and Furious walked guns.

The first patented roller skate was introduced in 1760. The inventor was a Belgian named John Joseph Merlin. His invention did not become very popular. The initial "test pilot" of the first prototype of the skate was in the city of Huy, which had a party with Merlin playing the violin. In 1863, James Plimpton from Massachusetts invented the "rocking" skate. This was an improvement on the roller skate that allowed skaters to turn easily around corners. This invention opened the door for the masses to enjoy roller skating. The Roller Skating Association’s web page offers some health benefits of roller skating. Some of these benefits include providing a complete aerobic workout and burning 350 calories per hour while skating 6 miles per hour or 600 calories while skating 10 miles per hour.

Ern, love the site, been long time follower, same old same old........anyway, don't know if you're keen on Venture Brothers on Adult Swim, but being late night on Sundays, this is some shit they can get away with....pretty funny. also, as I am currently on an overseas assignment in one of the most shark infested capitals on earth (Perth, Australia), thought I'd share a pic of one of the sharks they thought took a dude while diving down in southern Western Australia a few months back. I'm gonna keep my white ass out the water for a while.....Nick

Hey Big E. I know you have your own problems to deal with in Florida with Zombies and stuff, but we have our problems here in Los Angeles to deal with too. I mean, how do you kill Man eating tacos? Dave in L.A.

Sofia Vergara is definitely giving Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek a run for their money with that amazing body of hers, though she’s also got a bit of talent to go along with her sultry look and breathtaking physique. Born in Columbia in 1972, it didn’t take long before Sofia was noticed by the modeling agencies scouring the exotic beach locales for sexy women. In fact, Sofia’s modeling career - which included an extended stint as her country’s Pepsi girl - led her to bigger and better things, namely television. As the star host of three of Univision’s hit shows from 1995-2000, Sofia became a national celebrity in no time.

And now, for some really shitty advice.

100 hottest olympic athletes of 2012 - bird of prey vs poisonous snake

voyager 1 signals that it has reached the edge of interstellar space - 11 billion miles away

the oatmeal versus funnyjunk, part iv: charles carreon sues everybody


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