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Ernie's House of Whoopass! June 26, 2012
June 26, 2012

I Knew A Debbie Once. Talked Like A Porpoise.

So Tropical Storm Debby has been drenching the living shit out of me for the past two days, which kind of sucks cock because.... I have a leak in my roof, although this one was somewhat predictable. if you recall last year, I had a leak on one side of a peak, this year it's the other side. Both the result of shoddy workmanship by the original roofers. I have some guys lined up to fix it, but ironically enough, they can't really get started until it's dried out, which is kind of tough to do during... you know... a fucking tropical storm.

Do you have one or more fire extinguishers in your house? Now, when is the last time you moved your fire extinguisher? Do you play hide and seek with it, constantly shuffling it from one location to the next? Of course you don’t. A fire extinguisher is kept in the same location all the time. Every responsible person in the home should know where the extinguisher is and how to use it in a fire emergency. A “Fire Extinguisher Gun” acts on the same principle. The gun in question is kept loaded and ready in a specific location in the home. Every responsible adult knows where it is and how to use it in the event of an emergency. For me, it's a Glock 30 on one side of the house, and a Smith and Wesson Model 64 (Big Poppa represent!) on the other. So, what Fire Extinguisher Gun do you use?

So, just how much of a public health hazard is it to bring metallic items near an MRI machine? Apparently, a big one.

Old and busted: most beautiful players at Wimbeldon. The new hotness: most beautiful wives of Wimbeldon. Damn you, Jo-Wilfried Tsonga!

A patriotic photo for the 4th of July. An appraiser from a forum I belong to took this in Santa Monica, CA. Charles

Kill Bill painted up babe. All kinds of nekkidness and craziness in Seattle last weekend... Only the first part of the parade is the painted up bike riders; the middle and end are regular groups/ families/ other civic participants... if is a family oriented event; or so they way... Swampie

This video is a tribute to the work of Aaron Sorkin: the recycled dialogue, recurring phrases, and familiar plot lines. This is not intended as a critique but rather a playful excursion through Sorkin's wonderful world of words. - Dr Funky

In honor of Aaron Sorkin, here's the entire first episode The Newsroom.

And in honor of Alex Trebek's recent heart attack, here are the ten best classic moments on Jeopardy, from Trebek being a closet racist, to stupid category titles, and hilarious answers. Disturbingly absent from this list: the time that Fark! sponsored a category and SNL's Celebrity Jeopardy spoofs.

Aeroflot Flight 593 was an Aeroflot Airbus A310-304 that crashed into a hillside of the Kuznetsk Alatau mountain range, Kemerovo Oblast, on 23 March 1994. The jet was en route from Sheremetyevo International Airport to Hong Kong Kai Tak International Airport with 75 occupants aboard, of whom 63 were passengers. Most of the passengers were businessmen from Hong Kong and Taiwan who were looking for economic opportunities in Russia. After no evidence of technical malfunction was found, cockpit voice and flight data recorders revealed the presence of the pilot's 12-year-old daughter and 16-year-old son on the flight deck. The latter apparently had unknowingly disabled the A310 autopilot's control of the aircraft's ailerons while seated at the controls. During this confusion, the plane banked past a 45-degree angle, increasing the g-force on the pilots and crew, making it impossible for them to regain control. After the plane banked to 90 degrees, the remaining functions of the autopilot tried to correct its plummeting altitude by putting the plane in an almost vertical ascent, nearly stalling the plane. The co-pilot and Eldar managed to get the plane into a nosedive, which reduced the g-force they were experiencing and enabled the captain to take the controls. Though he and his co-pilot did regain control, their altitude by then was too low to recover, and the plane crashed at an estimated 14,000 ft/min. All aboard were killed.

A pod of orcas, or killer whales, cooperate to wash a Weddell seal off an ice floe. This sequence, filmed for Frozen Planet, marks the first complete filming of killer whale "wave washing" behavior.

the stephen king universe flowchart

challenges of getting to mars: curiosity's seven minutes of terror

nothing to see here, just a tiny angry bald kitten eating bacon... move along


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