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Ernie's House of Whoopass! July 5, 2012
July 5, 2012

Yes, I Bet Wonderful Things Happen In Her Kitchen.

A lifeguard supervises the safety and rescue of swimmers, surfers, and other water sports participants such as in a swimming pool, water park, or beach. Lifeguards are strong swimmers and trained in first aid, certified in water rescue using a variety of aids and equipment depending on requirements of their particular venue. There is a hierarchy of rescue techniques, in order, which minimizes danger to the lifeguard and maximizes the effectiveness of a rescue, and this dictates the types of rescue aids that a lifeguard should have available. Lifeguards are supposed to have some equipment to aid rescues. After determining a swimmer is in trouble they try to help in ways that will not result in a threat to the life of the lifeguard or others. This is done by helping at a distance by using a pole; a lifebuoy may be thrown, wading to the victim, using available watercraft, swim with an aid, such as a torpedo buoy. As a last resort, direct swimming to the apparent victim.

A tow hitch is a device attached to the chassis of a vehicle for towing or a towbar to an aircraft nose gear, or paired main gears. In North America the vehicle attachment is known as the trailer hitch. Trailer hitches come in two main configurations: receiver type and fixed-drawbar type. Receiver-type hitches consist of a portion that mounts to the frame of the vehicle that has a rearward-facing opening that accepts removable ball mounts, hitch bike racks, cargo carriers, or other hitch mounted accessories. Fixed-drawbar hitches are typically built as one piece, have an integrated hole for the trailer ball, and are generally not compatible with aftermarket hitch accessories.

Attention all religious people, as I have bad news: you know that little fish logo you love to stick on yoru cars? Guess what: VAGINA.

Old and busted: Andy Griffith the Secretary for National Morale. The new hotness: Andy Griffith the Communist.

these pics culled from so as to not chew up their bandwidth. Video of the 4Runner still driving can be seen here.

Semi trucks use air pressure, rather than hydraulic fluid, to actuate the brakes mainly due to the much larger braking forces required. This also allows for ease of coupling and uncoupling of trailers from the tractor unit, as well as reducing the potential for problems common to hydraulic systems, such as leakage or brake failure caused when overheated brake fluid vaporizes in the hydraulic lines. The trailer controls are coupled to the tractor through two "glad-hand" connectors, which provide air pressure, and an electrical cable, which provides power to the lights and any specialized features of the trailer. Glad-hand connectors are air hose connectors, each of which has a flat engaging face and retaining tabs. The faces are placed together, and the units are rotated so that the tabs engage each other to hold the connectors together. This arrangement provides a secure connection, but allows the couplers to break away without damaging the equipment if they are pulled, as may happen when the tractor and trailer are separated without first uncoupling the air lines.

Early concept art for the movie Aliens -- long live Private Hudson! -- was created by Syd Mead, who had worked on Blade Runner, 2010 and Tron. One of the original designs for the spaceship Sulaco was spherical, but it was redesigned as the ship would be out of frame due to the film's aspect ratio. Director James Cameron showed Mead his own concept art and the final result was described as a "rocket gun that carries stuff". Concept artists were asked to incorporate subliminal acknowledgments to the Vietnam War, which included designing the dropship as a combination of a F-4 Phantom II and AH-1 Cobra. British Airways was re-equipping several of its aircraft tug tractors, and the crew managed to purchase a tug to use as the M-577 Armored Personnel Carrier. It initially weighed 70 short tons, and although the crew removed 35 short tons of lead, the power station floor had to be reinforced to support the weight. And if you have the time to spare, here is a three and a half hour documentary on the behind the scenes stuff regarding the Marine's firepower.

Adding cheese to hamburgers became popular in the mid-1920s to mid-1930s, and there are several competing claims as to who created the first cheeseburger. Lionel Sternberger is reputed to have invented the cheeseburger in the mid-1920s at the age of 16 when he was working as a fry cook at his father's Pasadena, California sandwich shop, "The Rite Spot," and "experimentally dropped a slab of American cheese on a sizzling hamburger." Traditionally, the cheese is placed on top of the patty, but the burger can include many variations in structure, ingredients and composition. The term itself is a portmanteau of the words "cheese" and "hamburger." The cheese is usually sliced, and then added to the cooking hamburger patty shortly before the patty is completely cooked which allows the cheese to melt. Traditionally, the cheeseburger is not kosher as it combines ground beef and cheese. Cheeseburgers are often served with lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles, mustard, mayonnaise, or ketchup.

In celebration of the upcoming July 4th holiday, we have put together Part 4 of the best military homecoming videos that have been sent into Welcome Home Blog over the last several months. Thank you to all of the families that have contributed their clips, and thank you to all who have served (and are currently serving) our country. Happy Independence Day!

The Olympic trials are officially over, and the athletes that will represent the United States at the London Olympics have been decided. I don't know about you, but I've got my "USA" chant keyed up and ready to go on a moment's notice. Most of us will tune into the Olympics at some point, for some reason, over the two weeks they're being held in late July/early August. If your reason for tuning in is to ogle America's most athletically gifted donning red, white and blue spandex— then there are a few hotties you should be on the lookout for. Let's check out the 50 hottest American Olympians that you should be looking out for in London, starting with high jumper Amy Acuff.

Orchard Beach is a public beach in the borough of the Bronx in New York City. The beach is part of Pelham Bay Park and is situated on the western end of Long Island Sound. Once referred to as "the Riviera of New York City", the 115-acre, 1.1-mile long park consists of a 13-section sandy beach, a hexagonal-block promenade, a central pavilion with food stores and specialty shops, two playgrounds, two picnic areas, a large parking lot, and 26 courts for basketball, volleyball, and handball. It is operated by the New York City Department of Parks and Recreation. It is most recognized for its unique crescent shape, and beautiful view of City Island, Bronx. While surrounded by acres of natural forest, marshlands and coastline, the beach is actually man-made. It was the urban planner Robert Moses who came up with the concept and planning for its construction. The process involved filling in approximately one third of Pelham Bay with landfill, followed by a total of 1.2 million cubic yards of sand, brought by barge from Sandy Hook, New Jersey and the Rockaways in Queens.

Old and busted: the 72 year old workout grandma. The new hotness: the 75 year old bodybuilding grandma.

Deserts and xeric shrublands receive an annual average rainfall of ten inches or less, and have an arid or hyperarid climate, characterized by a strong moisture deficit, where annual potential loss of moisture from evapotranspiration well exceeds the moisture received as rainfall. Deserts and xeric shrublands occur in tropical, subtropical, and temperate climate regions. Desert soils tend to be sandy or rocky, and low in organic materials. Saline or alkaline soils are common. Plants and animals in deserts and xeric shrublands are adapted to low moisture conditions. Hyperarid regions are mostly devoid of vegetation and animal life, and include rocky deserts and sand dunes. Vegetation in arid climate regions can include sparse grasslands, shrublands, and woodlands. Plants adapted to arid climates are called xerophytes, and include succulent plants, geophytes, sclerophyll, and annual plants. Animals, including insects, reptiles, arachnids, birds and mammals, are frequently nocturnal to avoid moisture loss.

i wish every movie theatre implemented this: into the dome, motherfucker

chuck norris commits plagiarism in his column all the time

seven communities who salvage trash to survive in the world's dumpsites

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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