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Ernie's House of Whoopass! July 10, 2012
July 10, 2012

I Hate People, Part... Oh, What Are We Up To Now... Part 7? Part 8? Part 20?

Ernie, I know I don't know you personally, but I have been a long time reader of EHOWA. I also know you have a huge following of good people with big hearts. Recently, a young pit bull was found with wounds that look to be from a dog fight. If there is anything you can do to help, I'm sure Honey would be grateful. Thank you, Cheyne Henry, York, PA

It's usually once, sometimes twice a year, when I feel obligated to do an I-Hate-People post. And 99.99% of the time I really do. Sure there are those very few exceptions where mankind steps up and shows a shred of humanity, but unfortunately those instances are far outwighed by our greed and cruelty. And make no mistake about it, we are greedy and cruel, otherwise why in the hell would we make some photos of Honeysomething like this happen? This story strikes especially home for me, since Ike used to be a bait dog and had the stars aligned some other way, it'd be my little buddy lying there with half od his jaw exposed. I tell you what? The fuckers who did this had better count their blessing that I didn't go into law and become a judge? For instances such as this, no punishment would be too cruel or too unusual. They'd be calling me The Hangin Judge for sure, because I'd sentence these assholes to be hung by their fucking balls. Anyway, here is the CPAA's Facebook page where you can get more information on them and updates on Honey's progress, along with some video of the wound upwrapping - and you can see Honey has got an amazing temperment, otherwise she'd have taken that veterinary assistant's finger off. So if you can spare a few bucks -- yesterday I kicked in $100 -- I highly encourage you to pony up a few bucks to help pay for Honey's upcoming surgeries.

Five men were indicted in the December 2010 murder of U.S. Border Patrol Agent Brian Terry and a $1 million reward was offered leading to the capture of those still at large. The announcement was made by Laura Duffy, U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of California. After using his famous Chewbacca Defense, Attorney General Johnnie Cochran Eric Holder's name was NOT on the list of five names, all of which just happen to be Mexican nationals and I'm sure they'll be brought to justice about ten minutes after these Taliban commanders are. LOOKIT THE WOOKIE!

Burglar bars are a unique home security product. While most security measures provide either a visual deterrent or a physical deterrent, window burglar bars are one of the few products that offer both. The presence of window burglar bars on all accessible windows sends a clear message to thieves that breaking in to your property will not be easy. In most cases, burglars will simply look for an easier target. Many property owners have burglar bars on the exterior of their buildings. While this enhances their security, it also creates a potentially dangerous situation – defeating a possible emergency exit from your home.

Dear Ernie, the post about the AC-130 and your times in the USAF you´ve been looking for might be the one from October 24th 2001. Kind regards. Juanjo

"And you know all the hub-bub about the AC-130 Spectre that pounded the living piss out of Taliban positions last week? Fast story about that from my glorious Air Force days. I was a desk jockey, but in a office where I was able to hear and see a lot of cool stuff. Anyway, the guys from the Special Ops squadron who fly the AC-130's, came to our people with a problem and wanted to know if we could fix it for them. It seems when they were loitering around their target -- flying at 350 knots about a mile up and away from ground zero -- the shells from their 105mm Howitzer [were] "drifting a little" off-course from their predicted kill zone. "Well, that's not right. How far off course?" we asked. "About 12-18 inches."

What sucks about vacations is that they end. This is why most companies have rules against taking sick days right after your vacation is over -- the urge to extend the party for a couple of days is just too strong. So, most people just suck it up and drag themselves back to the office. New York school employee Joan Barnett is not most people. In order to get some additional time off during her school's spring break, she told her employers that her daughter had died in Costa Rica and she needed to go to the funeral. And, if you don't already see what's terrifying about that, wait until you see how far she had to go to pull it off.

In the field of physical security, security lighting is often used as a preventive and corrective measure against intrusions or other criminal activity on a physical piece of property. Security lighting may be provided to aid in the detection of intruders, to deter intruders, or in some cases simply to increase the feeling of safety. Lighting is integral to crime prevention through environmental design. While adequate lighting around a physical structure is deployed to reduce the risk of an intrusion, it is critical that the lighting be designed carefully as poorly arranged lighting can create glare which actually obstructs vision. Studies have shown that many criminals are aware of this effect and actively exploit it. The optimal design will also depend on whether the area will be watched directly by humans or by closed-circuit television, and on the location of the observers or cameras.

Now that we are in the home stretch for the 2012 Summer Olympics in London, I could think of no other sport to uncover beautiful women than soccer. It is an untapped goldmine of hottness. This I promise you. I had no idea that the teams representing their countries in women's soccer had so many stonecold hotties. I truly had no clue. But after hours of hard work and research, I have put together what should be the best list of the hottest women you might see in London. I say might for one reason, not all these women made the team. A lot of them were close calls but failed to make the cut either due to injury or lack of a roster spot. But don't you worry, I never cut the hot ones. I find ways to discover beauty.

Black & Decker Corporation is a corporation based in Towson, Maryland, United States, that designs and imports power tools and accessories, hardware and home improvement products, and technology based fastening systems. In particular, "Black & Decker"-branded household products in the Americas are marketed by a division of Applica, and a Florida-based corporation much smaller than Black & Decker Corporation. Brands include: DeWalt, Porter-Cable, Delta Machinery, DeVilbiss Air Power, Kwikset, Baldwin, Weiser Lock, Price Pfister, Emhart Teknologies, Oldham Blades, Black and Decker Firestorm, Vector, and DustBuster. On March 12, 2010, Black & Decker merged with Stanley Works to become Stanley Black & Decker, and is now a wholly owned subsidiary of that company.

Rali Ivanova owes her exotic looks to Bulgarian, Russian and Italian ancestry, but she calls Bulgaria home, because she was born and raised in Varna. Her extraordinary beauty caught the eye of a cosmetic company and she started modelling at the age of 15. Four years later she made the biggest step in her life and moved to USA, chasing her dream to live in sunny Florida. She remembers that it took her a while to get used to the American environment, but today she loves her glamor life in the beautiful city of Tampa. While having cocktails with friends on the beach, a photographer noticed her and offered her to shoot for a local calendar. She gave it a try and that’s how her professional modelling career started.

as promised, here's the photo of $211,223.04 in cash the oatmeal raised for charity

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