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Ernie's House of Whoopass! July 11, 2012
July 11, 2012

Would That Be An Inappropriate Cake To Give On Your Kid's Birthday?

Remember the angry Jew hating Elmo? Well, this was what happened a few minutes later. I guess he really doesn't like Jews.

So I was going to pick up this dartboard cabinet, but they're sold out. I guess this bitch got the last one. Likewise, I was going to pick up Addiction 64's Corrupt and Immoral album, but that's sold out as well, so now all I can get is this damned poster.

The release of ESPN: The Magazine's annual Body Issue always creates a pretty substantial buzz (36 images) . Which is completely expected when you combine two such beloved things: sexy professional athletes and nudity. And because this has become such a cherished annual event, I decided to get a head start for the 2013 issue. ESPN has a lot of their plate and probably won't get back to this for a couple of months, so I don't mind doing some of the leg work. I also wouldn't mind them cutting me a check for all this pro bono work I do for them. But whatever, that's another matter for another time. Let's take a look at 20 athletes (actually, it's more like 24...you'll see) who should be on the shortlist for next year's issue!

Bobcat Company is a manufacturer of farm and construction equipment, headquartered is in West Fargo, North Dakota, USA. It was a subsidiary of the Ingersoll Rand Company from 1995 until July 2007 when it was sold for US$4.9 billion to Doosan Infracore. The company sells skid steer loaders, compact excavators, compact utility vehicles, compact tractors and other small hydraulic equipment under the Bobcat brand name. It is one of the few major manufacturing companies operating in North Dakota. Bobcat skid-steer loaders have the largest entry/exit area – and the M-Series loaders entry/exit area is even larger. This means you’re less likely to bump your head or body when you enter or exit the machine. If you enter or exit the cab throughout the day, you’ll appreciate the additional space. The swing-open door, which can be quickly removed without tools, does not take up precious cab space. The cab-forward design of their M-Series loaders gives you even better visibility and moves you closer to your work.

Unlike this guy, I don't shop for ammo at Walmart anymore. slickguns.com instead - it's cheaper and you don't have to put down your beer!

As summertime is here and along with it record setting temperatures, here's something I bet you didn't know regarding your air conditioning. Many homes aren't designed to allow proper airflow, even when the return opening is large enough to accept the necessary volume. Every interior door in the home should have sufficient space beneath it to allow the return of any volume of air that is dumped into the enclosed room from the HVAC unit. In some homes, I’ve seen high pile plush carpet on the floor that sits so high that the air gap beneath the door is almost eliminated. There should be a minimum of one inch of clear air space under each interior door unit. Draft stoppers that lie across the bottom of your door may seem like a good idea, but they create capsules of stagnant air in rooms, reducing the efficiency of your HVAC system and in fact contributing to a cooler home overall as the air can’t circulate properly.

Great news Ernie! Now that I finally have a diagnosis for the thing that keeps me from getting shit done, maybe I can go on WEBMD and find a cure.... right after I click on this picture of Sophia Vergara at the bottom of EHOWA - Bret

WTF was going on with that girl? Her freecams pictures didn't show anything at all unusual, and the last activity was <30 days ago, but those were some well-healed scars. Any ideas? -- Matt

I don't know about her webcam profile, but her Youtube account has some more recent activity. Specifically, Mastectomy vlog #9 gives a little insight into what went wrong (nipple piercings) and something about not taking care of her body complicated by Crohn's disease. She also has a (NSFW) site set up called sexxxwitch.com with a few pre-creepy photos. Good luck with that. I suppose it's also worth mentioning that Sofia Vergara turned 40 years old yesterday and her son gave us a rather awkward present.

Hey remember that Steven Anderson asshole from New Mexico who was acting like a raging dickhead at a checkpoint, and ended up getting spanked by the border agents? (this was back in the April 23, 2009 update). Well anyway he's still at it but seems to have toned down his attitude and is no longer an asshole, so good for him. He does have a really fucking annoying ringtone, though, so I won't becoming friends with him on Facebook.

Perhaps it's the hollow yet the forbidding facades. Probably it's the neglected and decaying interiors, riddled with gusty corridors and the relics of their former purpose. More likely still there's something in the fear and stigma attached to mental disorders itself. Abandoned buildings of all descriptions seem haunted by the ghosts of their past – but when the ghosts are the souls of those declared clinically insane, the place is likely to hold more bad memories than most; and irresistible magnetism for urban explorers.

The two-liter bottle is a common container for soft drinks. These bottles are produced from polyethylene terephthalate, also known as PET plastic, using the blow molding process. Bottle labels consist of a printed, tight-fitted plastic sleeve. A resealable screw-top allows the contents to be used at various times while retaining carbonation. In the United States, the two-liter bottle is one of the few cases where a product is sold by a round number of metric units. Since very few other beverages are sold in this exact quantity, the term "two-liter" in American English almost invariably refers to a soft drink bottle. Other common metric sizes for plastic soft drink bottles include 500 milliliters, 1 liter and 3 liters.

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