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Ernie's House of Whoopass! July 23, 2012
July 23, 2012

Best Joke So Far: "I Was Going To Go See The New Dark Night Movie, But I'm Waiting For The Crowds To Die Down First."

Remember the Zimmerman/Martin shooting, and how immediately afterwards there was so much speculation in the media, on about almost every facet of the case: Zimmerman was white, white-Hispanic, black-Hispanic, full-Hispanic, a racist, not a racist; Trayvon Martin was a good kid, a thug, on honor roll, a drug dealer, 6' tall, 4' tall; Zimmerman chased Martin, Martin chased Zimmerman.... remember the lesson we learned from all that? How it taught us all not to jump to conclusions and wait until all the facts are made public? Yeah, me neither. Plus as an added bonus, the American Family Association's news director blames mass shooting on: the ACLU, gays, and liberal churches. Ta-da!

Just so people don't think that've taken to cop-bashing when I point out stuff like this after Anaheim police fire beanbags and pepperballs into a crowd containing women and children, let's take a minute and tip our hay to a non-FAC, Officer Dan Waskiewicz of the Baltimore City Police Department for not going fucking trigger happy when the opportunity presented itself. Because after drug-sniffing K9's in Navada have been trained to alert not only on the presence of drugs but also on their handler's cues -- totally circumventing the Fourth Amendment -- I'm hyst not sure they're one of the most effective crfime fighting tactics anymore. But Protector of their handler? Hell yes.

And so, if you only watch one video today, let it be this one: views from the International Space Station at night.

The Twenty Year Death is a breathtaking first novel written in the form of three separate crime novels, each set in a different decade and penned in the style of a different giant of the mystery genre. 1931 - The body found in the gutter in France led the police inspector to the dead man's beautiful daughter—and to her hot-tempered American husband. 1941 - A hardboiled private eye hired to keep a movie studio's leading lady happy uncovers the truth behind the brutal slaying of a Hollywood starlet. 1951 - A desperate man pursuing his last chance at redemption finds himself with blood on his hands and the police on his trail. Three complete novels that, taken together, tell a single epic story, about an author whose life is shattered when violence and tragedy consume the people closest to him. It is an ingenious and emotionally powerful debut performance from literary detective and former bookseller Ariel S. Winter, one that establishes this talented newcomer as a storyteller of the highest caliber.

I ordered a light for my Herstal home def .45 (TLR1-S) and it seems shipping's been delayed.... The train's cargo was mostly soybeans, there's going to be some healthy ass fish in that river! I'm not so sure about my gun shit tho. Big fan, Chuck

Conan O'Brien presents another adult video from his brand new XXX website -- a white guy watches his wife with a black guy.

The Chevrolet bowtie logo was introduced by company co-founder William C. Durant in late 1913. According to an official company publication titled The Chevrolet Story of 1961, the logo originated in Durant's imagination when, as a world traveler in 1908, he saw the pattern marching off into infinity as a design on wallpaper in a French hotel. He tore off a piece of the wallpaper and kept it to show friends, with the thought that it would make a good nameplate for a car. The first bowtie logo without embedded text first appeared in 1985, as part of the Heartbeat of America ad campaign. In 2004, Chevrolet began to phase-in the bowtie that serves as the brand identity for all of its cars and trucks marketed globally.

Old and busted: The 30 other females athletes at the Olympics. The new ONLY hotness: Croatian Basketball Player Antonija Mišura.

Boston College is a private Jesuit research university located in the village of Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts, USA. It has 9,200 full-time undergraduates and almost 5,000 graduate students. The college's name reflects the university's early history as a liberal arts college and preparatory school in Boston's South End. It is a member of the 568 Group and the Association of Jesuit Colleges and Universities. Its main campus is a historic district and features some of the earliest examples of collegiate gothic architecture in North America. The mascot for all Boston College athletic teams is the Eagle, generally referred to in the plural, i.e., "The Eagles". The character representing the mascot at football, hockey, and basketball games is an American bald eagle named Baldwin, derived from the "bald" head of the American bald eagle and the word "win". The school colors are maroon and gold.

Ernie, My buddy and his family just got back from Disney World and managed to strike photobomb GOLD!! Thanks for all you do. -- James

Good Christ. Tell your buddy to make his fat ass kid put the X-Box controller down and go outside to play every once in awhile. That is, unless he wants to start stockpiling up on diabetes medication now.

In every group photo shot there is always that one person making a face that was not meant to be caught on camera. In this gallery, Photoshoppers have taken those individual faces and did the impossibru with them. Can you figure out who was the original in these photos?

Perhaps the only thing more claustrophobic than regular caving is cave diving. Yet as these amazing images of this giant underwater cave show, the rewards are also great. Orda Cave is the most extended underwater cave in Russia, the second in Eurasia, with regards to length, and the world's greatest gypsum cave. It has status of All-Russia natural monument. It is the first and the world only underwater gypsum excursion cave, member of I.S.C.A (Association of Excursion Caves of the World). In 2008 Orda cave was applied to be included in the List of UNESCO World Natural Heritage. Unique beauty of Orda cave was marked by the world-famous British cave-diver, cave-diving instructor of the Royal court of Great Britain and Martin Farr.

Body Worlds (German title: Körperwelten) is a traveling exhibition of preserved human bodies and body parts that are prepared using a technique called plastination to reveal inner anatomical structures. The exhibition's developer and promoter is German anatomist Gunther von Hagens, who invented the plastination technique in the late 1970s at the University of Heidelberg.

what would it look like if they filmed breaking bad as a comedy

lenovo ceo distributes his $3 million bonus to production-line workers, other junior-level employees

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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