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Ernie's House of Whoopass! August 2, 2012
August 2, 2012

Time For A Little Facelift Me Thinks.

So I decided to tinker around alittle bit this morning, and ended up giving a slight facelift to the thumbnail section, adding some descriptions of what the links are. I didn't do it for the NSFW section yet, because well for the most part they're tits and well, you can't only describe titsa so many different ways. And when the NSFw aren't tits, well that's just my special surprise to you. Don't worry, I'll be keeping my 1996 geocities look but in the meantime, please put down your chicken sandwiches and join me in a stunning rendition of God Bless America.

Dial is a brand of hand soap and related products. It was the world's first antibacterial soap. It is manufactured by the Dial Corporation, an Arizona-based subsidiary of Henkel AG & Co. The brand was rolled out nationally in 1949. It was advertised as "the first active, really effective deodorant soap in all history because it removes skin bacteria that cause perspiration odor". Although researchers had never established a link between hexachlorophene and germ protection, Armour's early advertisements graphically depicted germs and microbes before and after use of Dial soap. In addition to the original bar soap, other products sold under the Dial name include liquid body wash, liquid hand soap on pump bottles, and lotions. Dial liquid hand soap was the fifth bestselling brand in the United States in 2011. Dial also markets a line of Hello Kitty branded soap products.

Even as a devout Red Sox fan, at this point I simply bow our heads reverently to the man, the myth, Derek Jeter. The New York Yankees star's job mandates he play shortstop, but his hobby seems to be dating some of the hottest women in the world. The latest scuttlebutt suggests he's dating Ralph Lauren model Hannah Davis. The New York Post has the scoop that will likely make every last man on earth feel jealous. However, after the women he's dated, I say it's time to throw heaps and mounds of props at his feet. Follow as we learn more about the beauty that stole the heart of 38-year-old Jeter, the man that continues to collect hits on and off the field, who currently happens to be 22 year old Victoria's Secret model.

In order to recoup the enormous expenditure it takes to host the games, the hosts need big time international brand sponsors. And as the hosts, they have the right to let only those major brands sell their wares in and around the games. Fair enough. Unless, that is, you're a London mom and pop store hoping to capitalize on this once in a lifetime opportunity. Too bad, because you'd better not even THINK about using common words like "Games," "2012" "Gold," "Silver," "Bronze," "London," "Medals," "Sponsors" and "Summer" in your signs or products. If you accidentally combine any of these words while advertising for your small business, it's a $30,000 fine.

I know you love trains. However this guy gets just a touch too excited. He may need a clean up towel.

Hey dude… I'm glad I don't have to argue with you anymore about assault weapons and gun control. Awesome having you on the right side of that debate. Leon P.S. Got up Saturday morning… and saw a short moose in front of the house… Rubbed the sleepies out and scratched… "WTF?" and then grabbed my camera… I like living here… Might be fifty feet from the front door…

Kids have tons of fun bouncing on the trampolines, doing front or back flips, and even bouncing as high as 30 feet in the air if they choose. The kids are strapped into safety harnesses with bungy cords attached to each side of the harness, wenches hoist them into the air as they bounce higher and higher. Kids are able to bounce and flip at will while being safely secured in a harness. The pride and joyful expression the kids experience is a must see for all parents. Overcoming fear of heights or doing flips is priceless to watch when a child accomplishes something they thought they could never do.

The coconut crab, Birgus latro, is a species of terrestrial hermit crab, also known as the robber crab or palm thief. It is the largest land-living arthropod in the world, and is probably at the upper size limit of terrestrial animals with exoskeletons in today's atmosphere at a weight of up to 9.0 lb. It is found on islands across the Indian Ocean and parts of the Pacific Ocean as far east as the Gambier Islands, mirroring the distribution of the coconut palm. Adult coconut crabs feed on fruits, nuts, seeds, and the pith of fallen trees, but will eat carrion and other organic matter opportunistically. The species is popularly associated with the coconut, and has been widely reported to climb trees to pick coconuts, which it then opens to eat the flesh. While coconut crabs can climb trees, and can open a coconut collectively, coconuts are not a significant part of their diet.

Today we bring you the hottest gold medalists in the history of the Summer Olympics. So we're talking about female athletes who are both extremely talented and quite gorgeous. And luckily, this...
More Awesome & Easy tips and tricks you may have never thought of. In this video we cover the following topics: 1. Using Alternate Batteries 2. Combat Stinky Shoes 3. Find out how much propane you have...
Paula Deen's face on Katy Perry's body. Why? Because. That's why!
A US Army Special Forces soldier giving an insightful training lesson to the Philippine Marine Corps.
Drowning baby squirrel: saved! Happy ending! We saw this adorable baby squirrel sitting on a rock near my wife's parents' backyard stream. Its tail was all wet and we couldn't figure out why it wouldn't leave...
Dog poop, our overlooked environmental hazard: Americans love their dogs. But picking up after them? Not so much. Here's why we should scoop the poop.
What if the movie Taken happened for real?...What if YOUR dad was forced to hunt down and kill the men who kidnapped you? Well we don't know all of your dads, so we used ours.
Everyone knows Sofia Vergara has ginormous breasts, but exactly what is her bra size? Well, in an interview back in 2010 she revealed her cup size was a '34DD' to Self magazine. But it appears her boobs...
Best chicken fight partner ever. And at least he was polite enough to not knock over the beer. PS, this wasn't zoomed it, this was actual distance.
Welcome to the improved and hopefully more stable, Regular updates are back and we should be posting 10-20 new funny pictures every day. Please bookmark us and check back often for new pictures. The site has been completely rewritten to...

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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