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Ernie's House of Whoopass! September 7, 2012
September 7, 2012

I Suppose That Beats The Old Hand Grenade Take-A-Number Gag.

Sssshhh, don't tell anyone but Irina Shayk has a secret to share, so please and be rude.

Matchbox is a popular toy brand which was introduced by Lesney Products in 1953 and is now owned by Mattel, Inc. The brand was so named as the original die-cast Matchbox toys were sold in boxes similar in style and size to those in which matches were sold. Subsequently the brand would encompass a broad range of toys including larger scale die-cast models and various non die-cast lines such as plastic model kits and action figures. During the 1980s, Matchbox started to switch to the more conventional plastic and cardboard bubble packs that were used by other die cast toy brands such as Hot Wheels. The box style packaging was re-introduced for the collectors' market in recent years, particularly with the release of the '35th Anniversary of Superfast' series in 2004.

As George Takei is happy to tell you, during World War II the U.S. government rounded up every legal American citizen of Japanese descent on the West Coast and forced them all in internment camps, just to make sure they didn't turn on us and start spying on behalf of their old home country. This, "Fuck em, let's round up an entire race just to be safe," plan was done while America was also at war with the Nazis, and the nation almost completely missed the irony. You may be wondering how the hell this was legal, and the truth is that somebody did in fact ask the same question. Japanese-American Fred Korematsu sued over it, and it went all the way to the Supreme Court. And in Korematsu v. United States, the Supreme Court ruled 6-3 in favor of interning the Japanese. The idea was that the risk of Japanese espionage -- despite never having actually occurred -- outweighed Korematsu's individual rights. But do you want to know what's most frightening? The decision has never been overturned. The same line of reasoning that ended segregation and the ban on interracial marriage can, at any moment -- remember, it has never been overturned -- be used to profile and imprison any race of American citizen as soon as the Supreme Court decides that they pose a threat to national security.

Extensor tendons, located on the back of the hand and fingers, allow you to straighten your fingers and thumb (see Figure 1). These tendons are attached to muscles in the forearm. As the tendons continue into the fingers, they become flat and thin. In the fingers, smaller tendons from small muscles in the hand join these tendons. It is these small-muscle tendons that allow delicate finger motions and coordination. Extensor tendons are just under the skin, directly on the bone, on the back of the hands and fingers. Because of their location, even a minor cut can easily injure them. Jamming a finger may cause these thin tendons to rip apart from their attachment to the bone. After this type of injury, you may have a hard time straightening one or more joints. Treatment is necessary to return use to the tendon and finger.

Cheating — lots of men do it. Not just on annoying, nagging girlfriends with a few too many extra pounds, either. Sometimes, for mysterious reasons, men cheat on beautiful and intelligent women who look like the perfect package to any outsider. Even more strange is their choice of mistresses. The men straying from their gorgeous gals often seem to choose dilapidated women, well past their sell-by date, to cheat with. From a one-time fling to a serial sex addict, or a beautiful younger woman versus a scary looking street hooker, a lot of these harrowing adventures make you wonder, "what the fuck was he thinking?" Here are some of the hottest women to ever get cheated on, or as I like to call it, "the hottest women who won't give anal."

Perhaps you've seen them perched on office building ledges, sitting atop museum roofs, or lining bridges like sentinels. From the streets of San Francisco to the shores of Savannah, you'll find fake owls standing duty. To understand the ubiquitous appearance of fake owls, it's necessary to know something about the real thing. Owls are one of nature's most effective and stealthier predators. In their varied habitats, owls will swoop and kill mice, voles, snakes and fish, quietly and quickly. Large owls have been known to attack mammals such as rabbits and even foxes. And most important, as fearless and ruthless hunters, owls will prey upon other birds, from the smallest sparrow to full-grown ducks and game birds.

The Primera Division of the Liga Nacional de Futbol Profesional -- commonly known as La Liga to us gringos -- is the top professional association football division of the Spanish football league system. It is contested by 20 teams, with the three lowest placed teams relegated to the Segunda División and replaced by the top three teams in that division. However, there is one area in which Spain's La Liga is top dog: Latina wives and girlfriends. I don't know if it's a matter of culture or ethnicity or what, but for some reason the wives and girlfriends of players in Spain's Primera División are among the hottest sports WAGs in the civilized world. And today I'm going to prove it to you. So sit back and enjoy this list of the 15 Hottest La Liga WAGs, starting with Soledad Fandiño. If she doesn't make you pay more attention to soccer, I'm afraid nothing will.

A first aid room is a room in an establishment to which someone who is injured or taken ill on the premises can be taken for first aid and to await the arrival of professional emergency medical services. A first aid room should be clearly signposted, easily accessible and contain: a sink and drinking water; first aid materials (which may include protective equipment and blankets); an examination / medical couch; a telephone or other communication equipment; and a record book for recording incidents. In the United Kingdom a first aid room is required in some chemical factories, construction sites, and premises at a distance from medical services. In some cases the room may be used for other purposes when not required for first aid. A first aid station is a manned first aid room, especially a temporary one at a large gathering of people or an emergency incident.

Well it's Friday, so normally I'd be off to the bar. But who needs a bartender when you can just go up to a machine like The Inebriator and get it to make your favorite cocktail?

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