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Ernie's House of Whoopass! October 3, 2012
October 3, 2012

To Me, Tuggie Means Something Else Entirely. Well Okay, I Guess Not Entirely.

Just a friendly reminder: tonight is the first of several debates between President Obama and Republican nominee Mitt Romney. My personal choice -- Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson -- was prevented from participating in the dabtes, so I say fuck everybody and their status quo. The only reason I'll be watching is to play the the Official 2012 Presidential Debate Drinking Game. Tuggies all the way around!

You know you need to use sunscreen, but do you ever wonder if you're using it right? Shake the bottle well before you squirt any sunscreen out. This mixes up all the particles and distributes them evenly in the container. Most adults should use about 1 oz. of sunscreen to cover their whole body. That's the same amount that would fit into a shot glass. It's also about the same as an adult handful. Remember, most people don't apply enough sunscreen. It's okay to use more than you think you should. Apply your sunscreen 30 minutes before going out in the sun. This gives the ingredients time to attach to the skin. Cover all of your skin that's exposed to the sun. This includes your back, ears, behind your knees and your legs. Some studies say it's a good idea to reapply your sunscreen after you've been in the sun for 30 minutes. This makes it more likely you'll get the places you might have missed. Definitely reapply the same amount of sunscreen every 2 hours, even if you haven't been sweating or in the water. Reapply sunscreen as soon as you get done swimming, toweling off, or sweating heavily.

Gun owners, do we owe Mitt Romney an apology for our doubts? Some say yes, some say no. His campaign website highlights legislation that "expanded the rights" of gun owners that Romney signed while he was governor, but does not mention the assault weapons ban: "Deadly assault weapons have no place in Massachusetts," Romney said, at a bill signing ceremony with legislators, sportsmen's groups and gun safety advocates. "These guns are not made for recreation or self-defense. They are instruments of destruction with the sole purpose of hunting down and killing people." Here's a must read report you might want to once over.

This photo was taken on the 35E/North Stemmons Freeway near the Trinity Industries building in Dallas Texas. Here, I'll prove it, although I think these truck nuts are a little more realistic.

Movie zombies are slow and constantly getting shot in the face, but even they don't show the everyday problems you'd encounter while piloting around a rotting, barely coherent corpse. Here are some of the harsh realities of daily life for the undead that movies leave out.

Ernie, Love the site, stick people... If you're in the area this weekend, the 20th annual Ralph Wayne's Backyard Nationals [gallery | gallery] takes place all day Saturday in KC. Pulled up Google maps to show someone where it was. What are the chances? The image appears to be morning, by mid day the whole neighborhood is lined with bikes. Great event, can't wait! Thanks for the daily entertainment! -- Cheers, Tyler

For those of you who don't remember, Tyler sent in some pictures from his trip to the Backyard Nationals last year, which was right after he ran himself over with his own truck.

Sarah Knauss is the oldest American and the second oldest person in history. This remarkable woman was born on September 24, 1880 and died on December 30, 1999 – just a day or two short of the 21st century. Knauss, however, probably didn't care. When she was told she had become the world's oldest living person, she simply replied, "So what." Knauss lived through seven U.S. wars, the Great Depression, the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr., and the death of her husband after 64 years of marriage. At the time of her death, she was older than the Brooklyn Bridge and the Statue of Liberty. And most remarkably, she was 88 years old when Neil Armstrong stepped foot on the moon in July 1969.

A suspected drunk driver decides he will brutalize himself in order to get his top-notch lawyer involved.

Ern, you may well have seen this already but, man, it's almost enough to make me want to go look for some dice to roll. Keep up the good work! Topher

I read the story, but I just dont see any professional handler forgetting any pet like they are trying to say... I have seen dogs open and close doors. Thought u would be as interested in the outcome as I am. Great work Ernie, keep it up! Pay

That fucking piece of shit cop should abso-fucking-lutely be charged. I would be. You would be. And so should he. And as an added bonus, I'd be delighted to be the one to throw the fucking switch.

If you don't watch Eastbound and Down, it can only be because you don't have HBO and you're too fucking stupid to get it on the internet. The show is about a former Major League Baseball pitcher named Kenny Powers (aka Danny McBride) who goes back to his home town after retiring to work as a substitute middle-school gym teacher... and it's hilarious. Thanks goodness it was renewed for a fourth season.

Liposuction: when it goes good, it's good. But when it goes bad, it sure goes bad a lot. It's too bad that Chuck Norris didn't show up just as she was going under the knife.

the crumbling remains of tuscany's creepy abandoned mental asylum

a 360 degree tour of dunkirk harbor. also, the theme to house actually has lyrics

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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