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Ernie's House of Whoopass! December 4, 2012
December 4, 2012

Piers Morgan Is The Biggest Cunt Imaginable.

A few days ago, following the NFL's Jovan Belcher murder/suicide, Bob Costas ran his fucking b-rated mouth about gun control and how if Belcher didn't have a gun then both he and his girlfriend would still be alive. Added bonus: Costas' thoughts weren't even his own, he more or less regurgitated a column written by Fox Sport's jason Whitlock. Let's not draw any connection between giving 22 year old kids fresh out of college these multi-million dollar paychecks and expecting them to function as normal human beings after they bash their fucking brains in for the next ten years. No, let's blame the Second Amendment. And on that note, mad props to Carol Roth for exposing Piers Morgan as the fucking idiot that he is. And fuck you to Michael Moore, who wants us to believe that a a fucking flu shot is going to provide more protection than a nice Model 1911 in your nightstand.

I also tip my hat to Jeremy Clarkson, of Top Gear fame, who thinks that Morgan is such a fucking douchebag that he actually punched him in the face once, breaking his finger in the process. I tried to find video of the event, but came up empty. Anyway, here is Clarkson talking about it, and here is Piers talking about it. You tell me which is the hypocritical douchebag.

And finally, I'd like to tip my hat to Ice T who reminds us that hip-hop, like any genre of music, is not impervious to the grinding gears of time. Like all sentient beings, rappers get old too and everyone's got bills to pay. So what's next on the career path? Well, how about playing an on-screen cop? It seems the number of rappers who've moved from the hood to the precinct makes it a pretty interesting and hard-to-explain phenomenon.

On the point of kids with too much money, six years ago Callie Rogers won about $3 million in a UK lottery; the ecstatic 16-year-old spent her winnings on vacations, homes, shopping, friends, and even a couple of breast augmentations; I tried to find photos, but no luck. Anyway, Rogers is now a 22-year-old single mother of two, working as a maid to sustain herself and her family. She has this to say about her winnings, "My life is a shambles and hopefully now it has all gone I can find some happiness. It's brought me nothing but unhappiness. It's ruined my life." But she faired better than Billy Bob Herrell , who less than two years after hitting paydirt, committed suicide. Yep, all of these dipshits won the lottery and then lost it all.

Oh by the way, this girl uses Gillette Satin Care shaving gel, and Morena Baccarin went topless in a recent episode of Homeland. You're welcome.


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