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Ernie's House of Whoopass! December 5, 2012
December 5, 2012

You Do What You Have To Do, I'll Do What I Have To Do. Whatever Happens, Happens.

Being an amateur railfan, one of my favorite movies from growing up was 1985's Runaway Train with Jon Voight and Eric Roberts. The film's story concerns two escaped convicts and a female train worker who are stuck on a runaway train as it barrels through snowy desolate Alaska. Voight and Roberts were both nominated for Academy Awards for their respective roles. The runaway train's lineup in the movie consisted of four Alaska Railroad locomotives, all built by EMD: GP40-2 #3010, F7 #1500, and #1801 and #1810, both GP7s. The second engine is where most of the acting took place -- the carbody F7 -- and has since been donated to a rail museum and kind of has its own cult following. One of the things I like the most -- you can watch the last four and a half minutes here -- is, that's a real fucking stuntman on top of that fucking train during the middle of a snowstorm. No CGI crap there, baby.

If you're so inclined, you can watch the entire movie here, and movie buffs will recognize someone (now) famous at the 10:40 mark when the boxing scene starts. That's right -- it's Danny Fucking Trejo in his first movie role. After serving 11 years prison for drug and robbery charges, creator Edward Bunker remembered Trejo's boxing skills, and offered him $320 per day to train Eric Roberts for that boxing scene, thus becoming the first of many criminals who became famous entrepreneurs in their later years.

The General Lee is the Dodge Charger driven by the Duke cousins Bo and Luke in the television series The Dukes of Hazzard. It is known for the chases and stunts, especially high jumps, in almost every episode, and for having the doors welded shut, leaving the Dukes to climb in and out through the windows. The car's name is a reference to the Confederate General Robert E. Lee and it bears a Confederate naval jack on its roof and has a horn which plays the melody from the first line of the song "Dixie". The Dukes of Hazzard was consistently among the top-rated television series. However, in the spring of 1982, as filming was due to begin on the fifth season, series stars Tom Wopat and John Schneider did not report to the set due to a contract dispute over their salaries and merchandising royalties owed to them. Catherine Bach also considered walking out due to similar concerns, but Wopat and Schneider convinced her to stay, insisting that settling the dispute was "man's work".

Personally I can't stand country music, but I will say one thing: y'all got some fine ass women singers and I call dibs on Jessie James.

Hey Ernie, My wife heard me whisteling the music "Carol of the Bells" this morning and was touched that my normal Grinch self was getting into the Christmas season. She thanked me for making her day and gave me a kiss on her way out the door to work. I didn't have the heart to tell her this is what was playing in my head. Bret

Was up late watching Robot Chicken and knowing you're a Bruce Campbell fan, thought you might like it. Roger

Wolverine is a fictional character, a superhero who appears in comic books published by Marvel Comics. Born James Howlett and commonly known as Logan, Wolverine is a mutant who possesses animal-keen senses, enhanced physical capabilities, three retracting bone claws on each hand and a healing factor that allows him to recover from virtually any wound, disease or toxin, at an accelerated rate. The healing factor also slows down his aging process, enabling him to live beyond a normal human lifespan. His powerful healing factor enabled the supersoldier program Weapon X to bond the near-indestructible metal alloy adamantium to his skeleton and claws without killing him. John Romita designed Wolverine's yellow-and-blue costume.

You want a sure fire way to know that Michael jackson was an asshole? He was was afraid of dogs. You know who else is an asshole? A guy named Guillermo Vargas. 'Eres Lo Que Lees' was a piece within Vargas' collection of work he showed in Nicaragua, in August 2007. The work consisted of a seemingly starving dog, chained to a wall in the gallery with the title of the work spelled out in dog biscuits, just out of the animal's reach. Vargas received a number of death threats during the exhibition, despite his claim that the dog escaped after only one day of showing. Vargas has stated that reactions to his piece highlight the hypocrisy of a society which doesn't care about a dog dying in the street, but finds one being chained to a wall in a gallery abhorrent. Controversial art or not, at the end of the day he is a fucking douchebag who is profiting from an innocent animal suffering.

i tried to look up ernies email but cant find it. first of all the mileage is an average, so a mix of city and highway. also even if were just highway the person is going 72 mph which is going to give them horrible mpg's. so whoever took this pic and stated what they did at the bottom of the pic is a freaking retard. michael schneider

ERNIE: I took the picture, you fucking mouthbreathing dipshit. And I did so after resetting the average via the console.

DIPSHIT: But youre doin 72 mph, the faster u go the less mpg u get, reset when youre going 55 and see what the mpg is. michael

ERNIE: This is the year 2012. Who the fuck drives 55mph anymore? Especially when the average highway speed limit is 70? I rented a VW Routan minivan that did 26mpg at 80mph, and it weighed 900lbs more than this piece of shit Equinox.

DIPSHIT: I didnt say anyone drove that speed any more but thats what the mpg from chevy could be based on at that mph of 55 not at 72.

ERNIE: I set the cruise at 55pmh. I got 22.3

DIPSHIT: Wow u may have a class action lawsuit on your hands, just like the lady who sued honda over the insight or civic hybrid mpg claims.

ERNIE: Jesus Fucking Tapdancing Christ, doesn't anyone fucking READ anymore? It was a RENTAL, you dumb fuck!

Nicole McCabe, an Australian woman who had been living in Israel with her husband for two and half years, was six months pregnant and happily awaiting the birth of her baby when she heard over the radio that she was one of 26 people implicated in the assassination of Hamas chief Mahmoud al-Mabhouh, who was wanted by the Israeli government for murder and arms dealing. Despite the fact that McCabe had not left Israel in over six months -- and that trip had been to Australia, not Dubai -- Interpol happily added this 27-year-old pregnant lady to their most-wanted list for murdering a high-ranking war criminal with her bare hands. To no one's surprise, an investigation then linked the assassination to Mossad, who stole the passports of 26 individuals with clean records and gave them to their assassins to enter Dubai. Nicole McCabe's was just one of the passports they swiped.

A pet ID tag, or pet tag is a small flat tag worn on pets' collars or harnesses. Humane societies and rescue organizations recommend that dogs and cats wear these tags, which contain information to enable someone encountering a stray animal to contact the owner. Some people object to pet id tags because of the jingling noise they make as their animals move. A collar-mount tag, either slide-on or riveted-on, flat to a collar's surface, is silent and therefore avoids this problem. Other people use a tag silencer to enclose the loose tags in a small neoprene pouch or a soft rubbery plastic ring around the edge of a tag. In this age of mobile phones, pet ID tags showing a pet's owner's cell phone number make it easy for someone finding a stray pet to contact the owner. Microchip implants, tattooing, and registering the dog's license number, microchip information, and tattoo number with lost-pet registries are good backups to identify stolen pets or strays found without ID tags.

the governor is a fucking loon: the walking dead season 3 mega-recap

dig through this 2012 holiday gift guide for gift suggestions of all shapes and sizes

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