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Ernie's House of Whoopass! December 12, 2012
December 12, 2012

You Broke My Heart, Kevin Youkilis. You Broke My Heart.

While not quite as horrible as Johnny Damon's transgression -- who went dirstly from the Red Sox to The Yankees without any intermediary teams in between -- Youkilis' recent deal with the Evil Empire has broken my heart. Why, oh why do these guys do this shit to me? But unlike Damon who is on my I'll-Hate-You-Forever List, I may forgive you one day, Youk. Especially since you got to hang out with Eliza Dushku. I just cant forgive you anytime soon. So for now, I hope you get AIDS. From Johnny Damon.

A lagoon is a shallow body of water separated from a larger body of water by barrier islands or reefs. Lagoons are commonly divided into coastal lagoons and atoll lagoons. They have also been identified as occurring on mixed-sand and gravel coastlines. Coastal lagoons form along gently sloping coasts where barrier islands or reefs can develop off-shore, and the sea-level is rising relative to the land along the shore. Coastal lagoons do not form along steep or rocky coasts, or if the range of tides is more than 4 metres (13 ft). In Latin America often the use of laguna, which lagoon translates to, is used to describe a lake, such as Laguna Catemaco. In Portuguese, “lagoa” may be a body of shallow sea water, but also a relatively small freshwater lake not linked to the sea.

Human dwarfism is commonly defined as occurring when a fully-grown adult is less than 4ft 10in tall. So consider this: what if Tom Cruise were nine inches shorter? Would Hollywood have recognized him if he'd been a dwarf actor? Here we look at 15 dwarf actors whose small statures translated into big screen success. Remember, height and on-screen presence aren't always relative – as Bob Saget can no doubt testify.

The bowline knot is an ancient and simple knot used to form a fixed loop at the end of a rope. It has the virtues of being both easy to tie and untie. The bowline is sometimes referred as King of the knots because of its importance. It is one of the four basic maritime knots, the other three are figure-eight knot, reef knot and clove hitch. The structure of the bowline is identical to that of the sheet bend, except the bowline forms a loop in one rope and the sheet bend joins two ropes. Although generally considered a reliable knot, its main deficiencies are a tendency to work loose when not under load and the bight portion of the knot to capsize in certain circumstances. To address these shortcomings, a number of more secure variations of the bowline have been developed for use in safety-critical applications.

Hey Ern, While surfing I ran across this. And you know what? I don't give a fuck. It's a great show, and I will continue watching it. Also, here's a couple of pics I took in New Orleans earlier this year a few days after Isaac. In one of them I'm enjoying a mango daiquiri. The other one I thought I'd save for this hap-happiest time of the year! Tom

Awww Pawn Stars. I visited that pawn shop while I was in Vegas. I was about as impressed as someone visiting Boston and expecting Norm to greet them at the Bull and Finch. And then to capitalize on the show, they built that Cheers tourist trap right down in Fanuel Hall; Christ, it's like trying to put red lipstick on a pig Jessica Alba.

In 1935, David Shakarian opened a small health food store, Lackzoom, in downtown Pittsburgh. He only made USD $35 on his first day, but was able to open a second store within six months. A year later, Shakarian suffered from what appeared to be a fatal blow when the Ohio River flooded on St. Patrick's Day. Both of his stores were wiped out. However, he quickly rebuilt both stores, and opened five more by 1941. During the health food craze of the 1960s, Shakarian expanded his chain outside Pittsburgh for the first time, and in the process changed its name to General Nutrition Center. He continued to run the chain until his death in 1984. GNC stores will typically stock a wide range of weight loss, bodybuilding and nutritional supplements, in both their own numerous in-house brands as well as third party name brands.

From the Screw-Belgium-Let's-All-Move-To-Switzerland Department, let's take an honest look at twelve countries –- six with the highest tax rates vs the six with the lowest –- and examines other facets of those economies with an eye toward possible correlations.

Bag tags, also known as baggage tags, have traditionally been used by bus, train and airline companies to route passenger luggage that is checked on to the final destination. The passenger stub is typically handed to the passenger or attached to the ticket envelope to aid the passenger in identifying their bag among similar bags at the destination baggage carousel, serve as proof that the passenger is not removing someone else's bag from the baggage reclaim hall, and as a means for the passenger and carrier to identify and trace a specific bag that has gone astray and was not delivered at the destination. Current bag tags include a bar code adhesive paper stock. This allows for automated sorting of the bags to reduce the number of misrouted, misplaced or delayed bags.

When you think of exotic models, what do you think of? Foreign chicks, black chicks, Asian chicks? Pretty much all of them fit the bill in my judgment. Basically, you know them when you see them, and they are definitely a beautiful sight. You're welcome.

Ernie: Love your site, been reading regularly since 9/11....blah blah. Chalk one up for the good guys in Cincinnati over the weekend. A 19 year-old went into a gas station with a gun, and tried to hold the place up. Two clerks produced their own guns, one a pistol, the other a shotgun, and said hold-up man went over the rainbow to see Dorothy and Toto. The prosecutor will not file charges against the clerks, which is right in my opinion. The 19 year-old was armed with a BB gun, which apparently looked quite realistic. Take care, keep up the good fight. Mitch

Apart from the obvious hazards of collisions and mechanical breakdowns common to all vehicles, operating a PWC can involve a risk of orifice injuries. These injuries are typical of the kinds of injuries that waterskiers experience by virtue of falling into the water at speed. Such injuries can occur from simply falling in the water at speed or they can occur from the output end of the pump jet. A rider who falls (or is ejected) off the back can land directly in the path of the PWC's high-pressure jet of water. Unless a rider is appropriately dressed in garments made out of a strong, thick substance like neoprene, the jet may penetrate any orifice it reaches. All of the major PWC manufacturers warn about this risk and recommend that passengers wear wet suit bottoms or equivalent protection.

Often situated in incredibly scenic locations, some of these outhouses also seem highly precarious, looking like they're about to topple over a cliff at any minute. Was this positioning chosen in the name of ventilation? Who knows. Regardless, let's marvel at 13 of the loneliest outhouses on earth.

john mcclane, tony montana... how 7 iconic movie characters would do in a zombie attack

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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