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Gotta be Honest, I Always Thought I'd Be Dead By Now.

Warsteiner beer is brewed in the Arnsberg Forest Nature Park outside of Warstein, North-Rhine Westphalia, Germany. Warsteiner has been a product of the Cramer family for 260 years, since 1753. The headquarters of the Warsteiner Brewery, the Domschänke, still stands today in the historic core of Warstein. Breweries in the Rhine valley were bombed during World War II, and the Warstein brewery sustained some damage. The newly remodelled brewery can fill and package 5,000 bottles per hour. The Warsteiner slogan, found on each bottle reads, "Eine Königin unter den Bieren" which literally translates into English as "A Queen among the Beers", referring to the queen's crown on each beer bottle.

Kind of Reminds Me Of The Anderson Nails Joke.

A small factory in the northwest, Anderson Nails, had been experiencing years of success and growth. Feeling that he was ready to try for the big time, the owner (Anderson, of course) contracted a big Madison Avenue agency to help him promote his product. Aiming to get the greatest possible exposure, the agency booked a full minute at the beginning of the Super Bowl halftime show. Anderson was pretty excited about this, and invited all of his friends and relatives to his home for a big Super Bowl party. At the end of the first half, everybody drew closer to the TV, wanting to see the premiere of the commercial. It began with an arial shot of the desert, and zoomed in on a small walled city. As the camera slowly panned about the city, it became apparent that this was Jerusalem, during the Roman occupation. A large hill on the horizon came into view, and as the camera drew closer, a number of crosses became visible. The focus settled on a naked man in a crown of thorns, then moved in for an extreme closeup of his bleeding hands, and the nails which held them to the cross. The nails were stamped with the Anderson Nails logo. A subtitle appeared on the screen, bearing the words "Anderson Nails--the Expert's Choice". Anderson's guests were horrified. The party broke up before the end of the game. The next day, he began to get phone calls from his oldest and most loyal customers, expressing their outrage and cancelling their orders. By the end of the week, his sales were down to nothing. He called the president of the advertising agency to cancel his contract. When Anderson explained the situation, the ad-man was surprised, and offered to run a new campaign at no charge. The new campaign was slated to start in a few weeks time (not too long before Easter, as it turned out). This time, Anderson nervously watched the commercial alone in the privacy of his office. It began the same way as before, with an arial view of Jerusalem. The camera finally settled on two Roman soldiers drinking wine at a table near the marketplace. Hearing a disturbance nearby, they look up from their drinks in time to see a naked man, with bleeding hands and feet, being pursued by a group of soldiers. The first soldier looks at his companion, smiles knowingly, and says "they didn't use Anderson nails!"

Its A Saturday Night Special, Got A Barrel That's Blue And Cold.

Ernie, Gotta ask you a question as you are the only person I have access to with this knowledge. There has been a huge increase in gas station robberies in Houston - my wife has been targeted twice but never confronted. I need to know what is a decent gun to get her that she can easily fire and carry in her purse. Preferably something that costs less that $200 so I can get 2 of them. I found this on Slickguns but really have no idea what we need. Let me know what you think. Thank you, Aaron

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

American Components, Russian Components, ALL MADE IN TAIWAN!

A tip of my hat to a local gun store, Fowler Firearms who try to keep their customers abreast on what comes in and when, especially during these times of great demand. They're one of the few shops around here that is NOT price gouging. Shit, for some of the prices people are charging -- $1,800 for an $800 AR -- you can buy one of the most expensive steaks in the world. UPDATE: LESS THAN 45 MINUTES AFTER THEY OPENED. And yes, if you're wondering what Congress is doing for you, there have been ten gun bills filed the first week of the 2013 session. Translation: Fuck you, Carolyn McCarthy.

I Remember The First Time I Heard My Father Use That Word.

The Urban Dictionary defines APESHIT as, "A state of anger and rage that produces behavior more closely resembling that of an enraged ape than a human. From the habit of enraged apes of flinging their own feces at their object of anger." With that in mind, Alex Jones went apeshit all over Piers Morgan last night. And while I share his enthusiasm, perhaps Texas Senator Cruz might be a better advocate? Because you know, sometimes Jones isn't rowing with both oars, so to speak.

Ghostbusters? I'm Happy If My Guy Doesn't Spill Half Down The Side Of The Damn Cup.

Remember Joshua Boston, the former Marine who wrote a nice Go-Fuck-Yourself letter to Senator Feinstein? He went on Piers Morgan last night and was a much better advocate that Alex Crazy Man Jones. And thankful for his servce as I am, I would venture to guess the last time General McChrystal actually held a weapon in any situation other than training, President Reagan was in office. So.

Guns, Schools, Gun Free Zones, Gun Shows and Survivorship Bias. Yeah, It's Like That.

Survivorship bias is the logical error of concentrating on the people or things that "survived" some process and inadvertently overlooking those that didn't because of their lack of visibility. This can lead to false conclusions in several different ways.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

Yes, That's Gabby Gifford With An AK-47. You Know, Back When She Was Pandering For Votes.

Karlovacko is a popular beer in Croatia and Bosnia-Herzegovina. It is the signature product of brewer Karlovacka Pivovara, located in the city of Karlovac. It has an alcohol content of about 5.4 percent by volume. Its makers describe it as "golden-yellow" in color and "refreshingly" bitter in taste. It won a 2005 Brewing Industry International Award golden medal in the category of beers with 4.5 to 5.5 percent alcohol. Pictured here in green bottles, Karlovacko is also in cans and plastic packaging.

Well, Today Is The Day To See If We Get Buttfucked or Not.

Today is the day VP Biden presents his recommendations to Obama, who has already said he was going to take action via Executive Order. And some douchebag anti-gun advocates hope to ban internet firearms sales, presenting the issue in a manner that would lead people to think firearms are being sold online in the same way people buy books or clothes. Simply click on the 'Add to Cart' button, enter your credit card number, and in a few days the gun shows up on your doorstep like any other tool that's been shipped from Amazon. But that's complete horseshit. I suggest you learn about the Second Amendment, before you try to suppress it. I tip my hat you you, NYS Senator Greg Ball.

Well, I'm Not Frothing At The Mouth, If That's What You're Wondering.

Well, I'll be honest, that wasn't half as bad as I expected it to be, although I think surrounding himself with children in this debate make me quite uncomfortable. I am relieved that the President didn't try to overstep his authority and issue an Executive Order that would in some way reinstate the Federal Assault Weapon Ban. I have no problem with the majority of the actions he's taking -- most of seemed to strengthen already existing laws and most of those deal with what I've said several times is the real issue, mental health. His call upon Congress to reinstate ban on assault weapons and high capacity magazines, while not well received, is at least addressing the matter through the proper branch of government. To ridiculously over simplify this, you run a day care center and at the close of business one day, after sending all of the kids home you find someone has written all over the walls in permanent marker. So you take all the permanent markers away. The next day you send all the kids home and it's crayons on the wall. So you take away all the crayons. Next day, it's colored pencils. And on and on, because you're addressing the HOW of the problem; and not the WHY some fucking kid is drawing on the damn walls to begin with. So, it looks like Senator Diane Feinstein is set to become one of the top villainesses of this generation so while I usually like to keep my politics and my guns separate, there's never been a more important time for you to join, renew or extend your NRA Membership -- use this link to save $10.

Bah, You'll Never Need More Than 7 Shots.

The Divers Alert Network (DAN) is a non-profit 501c3 organization devoted to assisting divers in need. The DAN Research department conducts significant medical research on recreational scuba diving safety. Supported by donations, grants, and membership dues, DAN's studies are revealing important information that will benefit the entire diving community and improve Recreational diving safety worldwide. The DAN Medicine Department makes it easy for divers worldwide to find answers to their diving medical questions. Serving scuba divers for more than 30 years, DAN provides emergency assistance, medical information resources, educational opportunities and more. The Divers Alert Network flag consists of a divers dlag -- conventionally red with a white stripe from the upper left corner to the lower right corner -- with a white cross in the upper corner with the letters DAN below.

"The Only Vice That Cannot Be Forgiven Is Hypocrisy. The Repentance Of A Hypocrite Is Itself Hypocrisy." - William Hazlitt

"Most Americans agree that a president's children should not be used as pawns in a political fight," White House Press Secretary Jay Carney said in a statement. "But to go so far as to make the safety of the president's children the subject of an attack ad is repugnant and cowardly."

Insert Your Favorite Gun Appreciation Weekend Joke Here.

Boy, It Sure Is Difficult To Get Work Done Like This. UMADBRO?

Disney didn't want me to update my site today, the same way this girl didn't want to have her picture taken.

Wow, They're Pretty Serious About Not Breaking Character.

Well, I had a pretty interesting few days, but I managed to survive. Ahh, Disney, one of the 5 companies that brainwashes their employees.First we see the confessions and then we see the revenge.

Surely You Would Turn In Your GPS For Your Own Navigation Girl?

In the 2008 remake of the original Death Race, the year is 2012 and the economy of the US has collapsed. Unemployment and crime rates skyrocket, and the sharp increase of convicted criminals leads to privatized prisons for profit. The warden of Terminal Island Penitentiary, earns profits from the pay-per-view broadcast of a modern gladiator game called Death Race, using the prisoners as players. The racers, along with their Navigators Girls, drive a 3-part race over 3 days on a closed track at Terminal Island. On the track are various pressure plates: swords activate the racers offensive weapons, shields activate defensive weapons such as oil, smoke, and napalm, and skulls activate deadly metal traps which rise up from the track. The reward for the drivers is that any racer who wins 5 races will be granted freedom by Warden Hennessey. The series went on to spawn Death Race 2 with Danny Fucking Trejo, and now Death Race 3... here is a great slideshow of three of the Navigation Girls from the latest film along with an interview in the video.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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