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Ernie's House of Whoopass! January 15, 2013
January 15, 2013

Well, Today Is The Day To See If We Get Buttfucked or Not.

Today is the day VP Biden presents his recommendations to Obama, who has already said he was going to take action via Executive Order. And some douchebag anti-gun advocates hope to ban internet firearms sales, presenting the issue in a manner that would lead people to think firearms are being sold online in the same way people buy books or clothes. Simply click on the 'Add to Cart' button, enter your credit card number, and in a few days the gun shows up on your doorstep like any other tool that's been shipped from Amazon. But that's complete horseshit. I suggest you learn about the Second Amendment, before you try to suppress it. I tip my hat you you, NYS Senator Greg Ball.

Bricks of concrete with sand aggregate can be made using a simple machine and a basic assembly line. A conveyor belt adds the mixture to a machine, which pours a measured amount of concrete into a form. The form is vibrated to remove bubbles, after which it is raised to reveal the wet bricks, spaced out on a plywood sheet. A small elevator then stacks these palettes, after which a forklift operator moves them to the brickyard for drying. Starting in the twentieth century, the use of brickwork declined in many areas due to earthquakes. The San Francisco earthquake of 1906 revealed the weaknesses of brick buildings in earthquake-prone areas. Most buildings in San Francisco of 1906 collapsed during the earthquake, due to the cement-based mortar used to hold the bricks together. During seismic events, the mortar cracks and crumbles, and the bricks are no longer held together.

That crisp winter chill in the air can only mean one thing – it's party time! And the fine folks at Playboy are celebrating in style with their new list of the Top Ten Party Schools of 2012. The rankings are based on data from a variety of sources, including “readers, students, alumni, campus representatives and others.” They also utilized more objective data, like male-female student ratios, local proximity to worthwhile party spots, and academic and athletic statistics.

A water tower is an elevated structure supporting a water tank constructed at a height sufficient to pressurize a water supply system for the distribution of potable water, and to provide emergency storage for fire protection. Water towers are able to supply water even during power outages, because they rely on hydrostatic pressure produced by elevation of water (due to gravity) to push the water into domestic and industrial water distribution systems; however, they cannot supply the water for a long time without power, because a pump is typically required to refill the tower. The original water tower builders were barrel makers who expanded their craft to meet a modern need as buildings in the city grew taller in height. Even today, no sealant is used to hold the water in. The wooden walls of the water tower are held together with cables but leak through the gaps when first filled. As the water saturates the wood it swells, the gaps close and become impermeable.

Hi Ernie, I would be honored if you posted this Bumbles Bounce picture on EHOWA. I've been a huge fan since long before you took the stick figures down. Cheers! Rob

Modern medicine has begun mastering and applying the ancients' traditions, rigorously testing timeless remedies, generally proving their value and showing their great promise. Biochemists and pharmacists are especially confirming insects' value as sources of powerful anti-inflammatories, stimulants, and pain relievers. Say “eeew” if you must, but these ten disgustingly creepy-crawly things show exceptional promise as treatments for heart disease, arthritis, and cancer.

Table football, also known as foosball or biliardino, is a table-top game and sport that is loosely based on association football. To begin the game, the ball is served through a hole at the side of the table, or simply placed by hand at the feet of a figure in the center of the table. The initial serving side is decided with a coin toss. Players attempt to use figures mounted on rotating bars to kick the ball into the opposing goal. Expert players have been known to move balls at speeds up to 35 mph in competition. Most rules consider "OVER 360-degree shots", or "spinning" -- using the palm of the hand to swiftly spin the bar all around, instead of using wrist strokes to kick the ball with a bar-mounted figure -- completely illegal. Table football tables can vary in size, but a typical table is about 4 ft long and 2 ft wide. The table usually contains 8 rows of foos men, which are plastic, metal, wooden, or sometimes carbon-fibre figures mounted on horizontal metal bars. Each team of 1 or 2 human players controls four rows of foos men.

Old and busted: snowmobiling. Also old and busted: parachuting. The new hotness? Yep, that's right, parasledding. I guess I really should have filed that under brass balls?

Recently terrorists have started using any means they can to attack trains, buses and airplanes. If you see a woman with a fuse, be very careful and call the police, as she may be a terrorist. Rob

Christoph Waltz is an Austrian-German actor, best known for his works with American film-maker Quentin Tarantino in Inglourious Basterds and Django Unchained. He received international acclaim for his portrayal of SS-Standartenführer Hans Landa in the 2009 film Inglourious Basterds, and won a Golden Globe Award for his role as Dr. King Schultz in the 2012 film Django Unchained. And as he will attest, Quentin threw a big fucking party to celebrate. Funny tidnit: one of Waltz's sons is an Orthodox Jew studying in a Yeshiva in Israel, as Waltz's first wife is Jewish.

In the 20th century, Baird's Beaked Whales were hunted primarily by Japan and to a lesser extent by the USSR, Canada and the United States. The USSR reported killing 176 individuals before hunting ended in 1974. Canadian and American whalers killed 60 before halting in 1966. Japan killed around 4000 individuals before the 1986 moratorium on whaling. About 300 were killed in the most prolific year, 1952. Baird's beaked whales are not protected under the International Whaling Commission's moratorium on commercial whaling, as Japan argues they are a 'small cetacean' species, despite being larger than minke whales, which are protected. Each year, 62 Baird's beaked whales are hunted commercially in Japan, with the meat sold for human consumption. Meat and blubber food products of the whales have been found to contain high levels of mercury and other pollutants, such as PCBs. The conservation status of Baird's beaked whales is not known globally; however, the Mammalogical Society of Japan lists them as rare in Japanese coastal waters.

did google run over a donkey in botswana? "no, it's just walking backwards"

the original ronald mcdonald was creepy as shit: 15 creepiest fast food mascots ever

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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