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Ernie's House of Whoopass! February 13, 2013
February 13, 2013

Happy Ash Wednesday.

The original Atari, Inc. was founded in 1972 by Nolan Bushnell and Ted Dabney. It was a pioneer in arcade games, home video game consoles, and home computers. The company's products, such as Pong and the Atari 2600, helped define the computer entertainment industry from the 1970s to the mid-1980s. But Atari couldn't match its rivals in the long run, and neither could the company's 16-bit handheld gaming console the Lynx, which was released in 1989. Echoing the brand's previously revolutionary ways, the Atari Lynx was the first handheld console with a color LCD display, and it also boasted ambidextrous playability -- KLAX fucking ROCKED! Nevertheless, Nintendo's monochromatic Game Boy was launched that same year and was more affordable. Atari's sales suffered, and game developers simply weren't interested in investing in the system. Here's a look at the 15 biggest gaming console failures ever, featuring an all-star lineup – from previous console champs SEGA, to Apple and the now bankrupt Atari company.

Gabrielle "Coco" Bonheur Chanel was a French fashion designer and founder of the Chanel brand. She was the only fashion designer to appear on Time magazine's list of the 100 most influential people of the 20th century. Along with Paul Poiret, Chanel was credited with liberating women from the constraints of the "corseted silhouette" and popularizing the acceptance of a sportive, casual chic as the feminine standard in the post-World War I era. A prolific fashion creator, Chanel's influence extended beyond couture clothing. Her design aesthetic was realized in jewelry, handbags, and fragrance. Her signature scent, Chanel No. 5 became an iconic product, one irrevocably identified with The House of Chanel. The House of Chanel logotype comprises two interlocked, opposed letters-C, one faced left, one faced right.

Robert Sanfilippo's 10-year-old son was kicked off his youth baseball team for poor performance, an act that Sanfilippo felt demanded retribution. Sanfilippo decided to form his own damn baseball team for the sole purpose of crushing his son's old coach, John Reardon, and making him rue the day he ever considered cutting the boy. Sanfilippo spent $50,000 of his own money to recruit and train his team which was named, no joke, was the Long Island Vengeance. While this is certainly a bit of an overreaction to his kid getting cut from the team, it's not like it's illegal. But why should Sanfilippo stop there? Sanfilippo staked out Reardon's residence and used a telephoto lens to take pictures of his family's activities, like when his wife would walk their son to the bus stop in the morning. Sanfilippo would then text these photos to Reardon, along with threats to kidnap his son. Unfortunately for Sanfilippo, the supposedly untraceable phone he was using to carry out his insane vendetta was, in fact, quite traceable, and as a result he was arrested and now faces 20 well-deserved counts of aggravated harassment. Oh, and the Icebox has all growed up, too.

Nineteen year old songwriter/musician George Barnett started making music aged three. He plays drums, piano, guitar, bass, trumpet and harmonica, as well as singing. One of his songs is Lone Rose. And while perhaps note quite as talented in regards to music, this girl has a Lone Rose of her own.

Ah, February. There's a chill in the air as Valentine's Day approaches, and a certain publication by the name of Sports Illustrated releases its fabled annual “Swimsuit Issue” to the public. This year is no different, as the people at SI have released the 2013 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue earlier today, which features images of gorgeous women in swimsuits being photographed all over the globe, including locales such as Australia, Chile, China, Spain, Las Vegas, Namibia, and in the case of cover model Kate Upton, Antarctica!


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