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Ernie's House of Whoopass! February 14, 2013
February 14, 2013

Happy Valentine's Day!

I know, I know. Valentine's Day is a pain in the ass. But just so there's no misunderstanding, this is the day where you had better have a little something extra special up your sleeve otherwise you're fucked -- in a complete fail kind of way -- for the next 364 days of the year. So not to sound like an asshole or anything but if you haven't already done so, this is about your last chance to go out there and get a little something special for that special someone; here are two gift guides, one NSFW and one SFW. Or of course, there's always a pair of socks if you're operating on a Valentine's Day budget.

Valentine's Day cards you buy at the store are like fast food for the soul, boiling down one of the most nourishing, life-sustaining forces on earth into dismissible bullshit that's impossible to digest without twisting your face into an awkward grimace. And so in salute to Valentine's Day, here is what those cards might look like if they were allowed to be creative, honest, awesome or all three at once.

Old and busted: LaRue Tactical tells New York State that they don't love them anymore. The new hotness: Olympic Arms tells New York State that they don't love them anymore. UPDATE: AND NOW YORK ARMS AS WELL.

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