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Ernie's House of Whoopass! February 19, 2013
February 19, 2013

Capitalism, Price Gouging, Hoarding, And Other General Buttfuckery.

Back before the Sandy Hook shooting, you used to be able to pick up a cheapie aliminum 30 round AR magazine for eh, $14 or so if you looked hard enough. The more common price was around $15-$16, which is what I shelled out for some the first week of December. And then, Sandy Hook. In a stunning battle of capitalism vs price gouging, magazine prices went through the fucking roof as the supply dwindled to almost nothing. Riding the cusp of that capitalism/gouging wave was online retailer Cheaper Than Dirt whose cheapie alumnim mag prices first shot up to $99 on January 2nd and then $129 three weeks later. Needless to say, this caused many in the gun community to boycott CTD for what many saw as blatant price gouging. Recently, there have been signs that the boycott has been working since CTD seems to be trying to buy them way back into the gun community's good graces. First they made a $100k donation to the Second Amendment Foundation, and then followed that up by offering to sponsor the Miculek family of shooters. If the name Miculek doesn't ring a bell, Jerry Miculek is the guy who fired a world record 12 shots from a revolver in under 3 seconds, averaging 0.249 seconds per shot. This is even faster than Max Michel's 18 shots from a semiautomatic in under 5 seconds (average 0.266 per shot) although he admittedly performed for two reloads, versus Miculek one. Oh and by the way, those $15 mags? Yeah, Cheaper Than Dirt is still selling them for $79. And the 30 round PMAGs that I linked 10-for-$100 back in late November? CTD is selling for... So yeah, price gougey.

Periorbital puffiness, also known as "puffy eyes" or swelling around the eyes, refers to the appearance of swelling in the tissues around the eyes, called the orbits. It is almost exclusively caused by fluid buildup around the eyes, or periorbital edema. Minor puffiness usually detectable below the eyes only, although at times they could be present all around, is often called eye bags. For someone predisposed to eye puffiness, changes to diet and lifestyle (under the supervision of a physician) may be required to reduce the possibility of swelling. A cold compress near the eye can act as a short-term remedy as cold temperature constricts blood vessels, preventing the flow of fluid into tissues and diminishing puffiness in the process. A natural astringent, such as wet tea bags, a sliced cucumber, or even potato can also provide short-term relief.

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition features the world's most excitable man and his impossibly attractive crew -- I always found myself to Tracy Hutson who once did this weird x-rated scene for some indie flick -- building awesome new houses for people who have been shit on by life. But you can't throw downtrodden waste management employees into a five-bedroom mansion when they aren't even able to make the payments on their leaky two-bedroom sadness bungalow. One family, which had a new home specifically designed to help their developmentally challenged son, was forced to put the house on the market after just a little over a year because they simply couldn't afford what it cost in both time and money to maintain a palatial four-bedroom estate while trying to raise three children, one of whom has special needs. Another couple fell behind on the $405,000 loan they had to take out just to keep their utilities connected in the million-dollar mansion built for them by the show -- which inexplicably included a carousel and a movie theater, because those are things that a young husband and wife need to turn their luck around -- and were forced to sell the house and auction off most of its contents. And my personal favorite: the Leomiti family who took in five orphans, making them irresistible candidates for the show's producers. But as soon as Ty Pennington swooped in to turn their shitty house into a utopia, the Leomitis booted those orphans out on their asses.

A gangplank is a walkway extending from a ship or seagoing vessel to a dock. Typically removable, gangplanks allow easy transfer of passengers and goods both on and off the ship. Though traditionally made of wood, gangplanks are now commonly made from durable material, such as metal, that can stand up to rough weather and ample use. A gangplank can be as simple as a flat board that can be balanced between the ship's deck and a dock, but many have additional features that increase safety and maneuverability. Many are outfitted with handrails that facilitate passengers who have not yet found their sea legs. Passenger boats, such as whale watching tours, cruise ships, or sport fishing boats, often feature wide and sturdy gangplanks that can easily accommodate less mobile passengers. Depending on local laws and maritime policies, some may even be able to accommodate wheelchairs.

Capsule hotels sprang up in Japan in the late ‘70s to cater for businessmen who worked too late or drank too much to make the long commute home. The first capsule hotel opened its doors in 1979 in the city of Osaka. And in view of high rent prices, the cost of spending the night in a regular hotel, and overcrowding in large cities, capsule hotels fill a cost-saving niche in the Japanese market. The simple bed-in-a-box concept has blossomed into a booming business model, even going so far as Russia and being the basis for the onboard sleep chambers in The Fifth Element. Companies around the world are beginning to see the importance of scaling down and conserving energy – so perhaps they could find some inspiration in these 15 incredible Japanese capsule hotels. Sorry, size-zero geisha not included.

Super Bowl XLIV was between the National Football Conference champion New Orleans Saints and the American Football Conference champion Indianapolis Colts to decide the champion for the 2009 season. This was the Saints' first Super Bowl appearance and the fourth for the Colts franchise. Down 10–6 at halftime of Super Bowl XLIV, in what many consider the turning point of the game, New Orleans successfully recovered a surprise onside kick on the second half kickoff, and subsequently took the lead on Pierre Thomas' 16-yard touchdown reception. The Colts responded with Joseph Addai's 4-yard touchdown run, but the Saints then scored 18 unanswered points, including Tracy Porter's 74-yard interception return for a touchdown, to clinch the victory. The live broadcast of the game on CBS was watched by an average US audience of 106.5 million viewers, making it the third most-watched Super Bowl.

Today's featured model is Alina Kravchenko, who, as you might have gathered from her name, has come all the way from the Ukraine to her current home of Miami, Florida, where here modeling career is just beginning to take off. The 19-year-old Alina is an absolute sweetheart and already has a lot of experience already in modeling, doing work in a variety of different categories and genres. But she's still looking for her big break – so if you happen to be casting the next Bond movie or something, give her a call. You can check out 25 of her hottest pictures in this gallery.

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