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Ernie's House of Whoopass! March 12, 2013
March 12, 2013

No One Needs A Hammer That Big. Keep That Shit Locked Up.

Gentlemen, I present to you: the very definition of mixed emotions.

Jumping the shark is an idiom created by Jon Hein that is used to describe the moment in the evolution of a television show when it begins a decline in quality that is beyond recovery, which is usually a particular scene, episode, or aspect of a show in which the writers use some type of gimmick in a desperate attempt to keep viewers' interest. In its initial usage, it referred to the point in a television program's history when the program had outlived its freshness and viewers had begun to feel that the show's writers were out of new ideas, often after great effort was made to revive interest in the show by the writers, producers, or network. The usage of "jump the shark" has subsequently broadened beyond television, indicating the moment when a brand, design, or creative effort's evolution loses the essential qualities that initially defined its success and declines, ultimately, into irrelevance. With that in mind I present to you Snoop Dogg Snoop Lion's No Guns Allowed. Are you fucking kidding me? Here's how I'll choose to remember you, Snoop.

Not to be undone by the gay lifestyle handkerchief codes, sweeteners have color coding which must be observed at your peril. Aspartame (most popularly marketed as "Equal") comes in little blue packets. It gained popularity due to being a better-tasting alternative to the slightly bitter alternatives at the time. Saccharine comes in the pink packets, and Splenda in yellow. Stevia (the green packets) tastes like stale licorice. Or you can avoid all this confusion by just using plain sugar in white packets, although, even there new brown packets of so called natural golden sugar are out there to make more of a mess.

People can get pretty emotional about sports, and they express these emotions in a variety of interesting ways. Sometimes they cry, sometimes they perform a lewd gesture, and, of course, sometimes they even kiss. Of course, kissing is probably the strangest and, shall we say, most problematic way of expressing sports emotions. Sure, if your team wins the Super Bowl on a last-second play, then kissing your girlfriend seems like a natural thing to do. But blowing kisses at opponents, kissing sidelines reporters, and kissing your teammates? That's just weird. And in case you need some proof, here are 25 animated GIFs.. sure, you'll laugh for a while... then you'll be kind of creeped out.

So people in Los Angeles are being told to prepare and cope for at least "two weeks on their own." Then I read that just today new record numbers were reached for people being on food stamps. In a 2009 study 20% of people in Los Angeles county received public aid. Of course since 2009 the economy has got sooooo much better, I'm sure that those numbers have dropped. Right? Riiiiiiiiiiight. Exactly how many people are going to able to stock up for two weeks? And of those that can, how many do you think actually will? And those that are ill prepared will act civilly right? Sure, maybe there have beenpast problems, but there hasn't beenanything recent right? Bottom line is, if you are unfortunate enough to be in an area struck by a disaster and you have properly prepared, then Katy-bar the door. Especially if you live in one of the new gun control / ban areas. (and they wonder why anyone needs more than 7 rounds in a magazine). Don't let anyone know you have crap. Oh, and as for "two weeks"... yeah, good luck with that. Don't be surprised in some areas that it could be more like two months or more. Bret

While we humans are indeed delicate creatures, you have to admit it's pretty amazing what the human body is capable of. Well, I guess most of the time. Okay, maybe sometimes then.

The United States Army is cancelling the Universal Camouflage Pattern and considers the $5 billion program to be a colossal mistake. Army researchers are currently working on a new and better camouflage. The pattern has been determined to be very ineffective and has been widely unpopular amongst the rank and file for years. Four new patterns are being tested to give soldiers different patterns suitable for different environments, plus a single neutral pattern, to be used on more expensive body armor and other gear. The selection will involve hundreds of computer trials as well on-the-ground testing at half a dozen locations around the world. The new camouflage patterns are scheduled to be put into field use by the end of 2013.

As you're sure to notice, some of these actresses are natural beauties, and some are not. Thankfully for those who fall into the latter category, make-up and some other physical assets can easily compensate for those in the adult film industry who may not have the prettiest mug to begin with. Yes Amor Hilton and Darryl Hanah, I'M TALKING TO YOU.

Prescription bottles come in different colors. The most common is orange. Some prescription bottles are orange so that it prevents light from degrading the medicines inside through photochemical reactions. Orange is not the only color. There are clear ones, for medicines that don't degrade in light. There are also blue ones, dark brown ones, green ones and opaque ones. The ClearRx prescription bottles are made of clear red plastic. The shape of the bottle allows for easy storage in small medicine cabinets. The lettering is large and noticeable for people to read the warning labels, etc. On the top of the bottle, is the name of the medication for the patient to know that it is the right one. Also, the prescription bottles have color-coded rings to differentiate between which medication goes to which family member.

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