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Ernie's House of Whoopass! March 18, 2013
March 18, 2013

So Why Did Hula-Hoops Fall Out Of Style, Anyway?

Boy the ammo shortage is really bad out there. How bad is the ammo shortage? I'll tell you how bad the ammo shortage is. Man is suicidal. Wants to shoot himself with a 9mm handgun. Can't find any 9mm ammo. Literally, driving around town, no ammo to bad had. So he drives to Dick's and asks to see a shotgun. Grabs some ammo off the counter and using his (unloaded) handgun, forces the clerk to remove the shotgun's trigger lock. Then takes shotgun and ammo into bathroom, and kills himself. And me? This St Patrick's Day weekend I was fortunate enough -- FORTUNATE ENOUGH -- to be able to pick up six boxes of 7.62x39 at Walmart. Fortunate enough. So yeah, it's that bad out there.

Inessa Chimato is a stunning redhead with an incredible figure for you to stare at. Here you can see her busting out of her pretty bikini (34D's!) and the shots with the sword will definitely grab your attention. Inessa is tall with the elegant look of a fashion model but with the body of a centerfold. Be sure to check out the video of Inessa as she's wearing a bikini and then playing with a hula hoop with a GoPro camera attached to it.

A flight suit is a full body garment, worn while flying aircraft such as military airplanes, gliders and helicopters. These suits are generally made to keep the wearer warm, as well as being practical and durable. Its appearance is usually similar to a jumpsuit. A military flight suit may also show rank insignia. The current flight suit that is standard for most air forces and navies is made of Nomex, a fabric made from spun aramid that is lightweight and fire resistant. The flame retardant capabilities of this material make it ideal for protecting aviators in case of a fire. The suit is often green or desert tan in color, with multiple pockets for specific pieces of gear.

Well today we honor this quintessential sports hairdo with this list of the most breathtaking mullets in the history of sports. Most of them are from the 70s, 80s, and 90s. But the mullet has enjoyed a bit of a renaissance in the new millenium (or should I say, mulletium), so there are some contemporary mullets that made the list as well. And regardless of the time period, they're all beautiful in their own unique way. So get clicking, and enjoy the show.

Looks like someone noticed your shit stained ass at WalMart. Send ammo (9mm, .40S&W, and 7.62x39), or I'm gonna upload this picture for all of the internet to see. Love, Coke

So Jillian Barberie is back out on the market after her divorce. Even with kids and baggage you need to look at this on Howard Stern and go to minutes 19:25 to 23:26 and 37:30 to 42:50. Damn. Bret

A beverage coaster, or beermat, is an article used to rest beverages upon. The main purpose is to protect the surface of a table or any other surface where the user might place their beverage. They are used not just to protect the surface of the table, but, as they are usually made of paper, they can also be used to absorb condensation dripping along the glass or serve as an ad-hoc notepad. Beermats are often branded with trademarks or alcohol advertising.

Nikolina Konstantinova Dobreva, known professionally as Nina Dobrev, is a Bulgarian actress and model. She is currently starring in The CW's drama The Vampire Diaries, playing the dual role of Katherine Pierce, a vampire loved by two human brothers during the American Civil War, and Katherine's doppelgänger Elena Gilbert, a human who is caught between the same two brothers, now vampires, Damon and Stefan Salvatore. She also does her own stunts.

The official languages of Canada are English and French, which have equality of status and equal rights and privileges as to their use in all institutions of the Parliament and Government of Canada according to Canada's constitution. Only Quebec has declared itself officially unilingual (French only), when in 1977, the Parti Quebecois government of Rene Levesque introduced the Charter of the French Language (better known as "Bill 101") to promote and preserve the French language in the province, indirectly disputing the federal bilingualism policy. Initially, Bill 101 banned the use of all languages but French on most commercial signs in the province, but those limitations were later loosened by allowing other languages on signs, as long as the French version is predominant.

This afternoon a message entitled "5 US troops die in helicopter crash in Afghanistan," was posted. About the same time the Spring 2013 issue of USO's On Patrol was also posted. We sometimes need to be reminded that the heartbreak associated with each violent death of a trooper spreads far beyond the scene, like concentric circles that radiate from rocks thrown into quiet pools. I'm so glad each of you made it home. Semper Fi, tom

I've always felt McDonald's Shamrock Shake lacked a certain "je ne sais quois," as the Irish say. I oughta know, I tried to drink a gallon of it last year. So this year I've painstakingly culled some of the most ethnic ingredients I could find to create The Ultimate Irish Smoothie! It's pretty much a trip to Dublin in a glass. Tom from Zug

7-Eleven is part of an international chain of convenience stores. 7-Eleven, primarily operating as a franchise, is the world's largest operator, franchisor and licensor of convenience stores, with more than 48,000 outlets, surpassing the previous record-holder McDonald's Corporation in 2007 by approximately 1,000 retail stores. Among 7-Eleven's offerings are private label products, including Slurpee, a partially frozen soft drink introduced in 1967, and the Big Gulp introduced in 1980 (the Super Big Gulp in 1984) that packaged soft drinks in large cups ranging in size from 20 to 64 U.S. fluid ounces.

“The question that I would pose to the senior senator from California is,” Texas Senator Cruz said to Feinstein Cuntstein, “Would she deem it consistent with the Bill of Rights for Congress to engage in the same endeavor that we are contemplating doing with the Second Amendment in the context of the First or Fourth Amendment? Namely, would she consider it constitutional for Congress to specify that the First Amendment shall apply only to the following books and shall not apply to the books that Congress has deemed outside the protection of the Bill of Rights?” Wait until you hear her answer.

Faraglioni is the collective name for three stacks located off the island of Capri in the Bay of Naples. The stacks have been given their own names: Stella (still attached to the main island), Mezzo (after Stella), and Scopolo (or Fuori). Their heights are 109 m, 82 m and 106 m, respectively. The Scopolo sea stack provides the unique habitat for the Podarcis sicula coerulea. The rock is, in fact, the only place in the world where you can find this lizard, the blue color of which is said to be the result of the amphibian's vicinity to the sea and sky. The Faraglione di Mezzo is characterized by a central cavity, large enough to allow for the passage of a small boat.

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