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Ernie's House of Whoopass! May 3, 2013
May 3, 2013

You'll Shoot Your Eye Out, Kid. Or Your Sister's. Or Your Brother's.

As a kid, I remember I begged and begged for an air rifle, but my family lived in the city and there wasn't really any open places to shoot it safely, so my father always balked at the idea. But eventually my persistence paid off and one day after picking me up from my side job -- odds and ends at Nello Pants Corp, as I recall -- my father had me hop in the back seat and flicked back a blanket to reveal a shiny new Crosman Pumpmaster 760. It was named so because it would fire a .177 caliber BB at 760 feet per second (fps). This is a little bit hotter than the bitch ass Chinese made Crosman 760's they sell now, which max out at 645 fps. I used to shoot from one side of my basement to the other, a span of about 15 feet. The rule was I could only pump it no more than THREE times, since going all the way up to the maximum of ten pumps, would be far too powerful for such close quarters. And fuck all if my father didn't sit upstairs in the living room and count each time I pumped that thing. PUMP-PUMP-PUMP---POP... PUMP-PUMP-PUMP---POP... PUMP-PUMP-PUMP-...PUMP- >ERNIE! I SAID THREE TIMES GODAMMIT!< Now higher up the Crosman food chain -- this higher end model does 1,500 fps -- are some models that equal and in some cases even exceed the power of a traditional .22lr firearm -- .22 Federal bulk does 1,260 fps. These air rifles are expensive, but make no bones about these, these fuckers really shoot.

With that in mind, I'm sure we've all heard the recent story about the 5 year old boy who accidently shot and killed his 2 year old sister. Keep in mind that normally in such a case I would use the phrase "negligently shot and killed" instead of "accidently shot and killed," but I don't think that a 5 year old is really capable of understanding what negligence is or how it played a role in the death of his sister. But his parents sure do. As do the parents of Skyler Richardson, the ten year old Florida boy who was killed with an air rifle about a month ago. One incident involving compressed air is a non issue, but almost the exact same tragedy plays out only this time involving gunpowder instead of air, and suddenly it's national news. I see absolutely nothing different about these two tragedies. They are the exact same to me. Here's the real issue: a colossal amount of stupidity on behalf of the parents.

ATV's! Don't let children under 16 ride! Never ride with a passenger! Always wear a helmet! Read owners's manual before operating! Sounds foolproof, right? And yet we still have this all the time. Swimming! It goes without saying to never leave your kids unattended in the pool, right? And yet we have this all the time. And I can guaran-fucking-tee you that both the .22 Crickett and the air rifle both came with HUGE FUCKING WARNING LABELS about how dangerous they are, and to never allow a child to use unsupervised, and to always store out of reach of children, and to always unload after use. Left a loaded gun out for the kid to grab. What're you fucking stupid? Sorry, but the rifle didn't kill this kid, her dumb fucking parents did. I say cut through all of the bullshit. Devastating loss or not, charge the parents.

Yesterday, an absolutely insane photograph taken by a Tampa sports reporter and posted on Twitter went viral. The reporter, whose name is Kelly Nash, was taking a selfie from the top of the Green Monster at Boston's historic Fenway Park, and the resulting photo just happened to catch a baseball whizzing by her head. Of course, the Internet is a skeptical place, and many people were wondering if the pic had been photoshopped. I doubt she would risk her career by perpetrating such a hoax. Moreover, there are a lot of photographs out there that are so amazing they look photoshopped when they really have not. So just because something seems too incredible to be true, that doesn't mean it isn't.

Hydraulic machinery began to be used in the early 1940s when engineers discovered that hydraulic systems were more compact, lighter in weight and self-lubricating. World War II spurred development of hydraulic machinery for military applications. The development of flexible hydraulic hoses further opened the way for development of a wide array of new, high-powered machines based on hydraulic technology. Construction Hydraulic hoses are made in three basic parts. An inner tube carries the fluid. That tube is reinforced with a sheath of braided mesh, spiral wound wire or a textile based yarn. A third protective outer layer provides protection from weather, abrasion or oil or chemicals; this cover can be made of either heavy gauge rubber or braided strands of stainless steel, depending upon the application. In most cases hydraulic hoses are designed to be specific sizes, lengths and have custom connectors to work in specific machines.

Ernie- Thanks for all you do. Here's a short article on a failed Fox31 Denver armslist sting. Keep up the good work. Rock

The Buruli ulcer is an infectious disease caused by Mycobacterium ulcerans. The early stage of infection is characterised by a painless nodule, with non-pyogenic, necrotising lesions developing in the skin, and occasionally in adjacent bone, as the disease progresses. The infection in most instances presents as a subcutaneous nodule, which is characteristically painless. In southern Australia the presentation is more often as a papule or pimple, which is in the skin rather than subcutaneous. The infection is mostly on the limbs, most often on exposed areas but not on the hands or feet. In children all areas may be involved, including the face or abdomen. A more severe form of infection produces diffuse swelling of a limb, which, unlike the papule or nodule, can be painful and accompanied by fever. Infection may frequently follow physical trauma, often minor trauma such as a small scratch.

Old and busted: Waiting for Gunbot's klaxon alarms to go off. The new hotness: live ammo inventory tracking with WikiArms and having inventory alerts ammo alerts sent right to your phone or email.

Every mate­r­ial has a prop­erty known as heat con­duc­tiv­ity that tells you how good that mate­r­ial is at con­duct­ing heat. When you touch an object, it will remove heat from your hand at a rate pro­por­tional to its con­duc­tiv­ity. In other words, it's all about the rate at which it can con­duct heat. Car­pet is mostly air and air is a poor con­duc­tor of heat. Wood is solid, so it is a bet­ter con­duc­tor. Tile and metal are even bet­ter con­duc­tors than wood. When you touch the car­pet, it is not able to remove heat from your feet as eas­ily as wood, and as a result, it feels warmer. Con­versely, wood or tile or metal is able to remove heat from your foot very eas­ily, and so it feels cooler to the touch. Now you know why sit­ting on that porce­lain toi­let seat in the morn­ing feels cold and why wear­ing socks works so well at insu­lat­ing your feet.

Hi Ern, Don't know if you saw this article in the Palm Beach Post: Pre-Crime Police in Florida. Since this has passed the Fla. House and Senate, it's up to Gov. Scott to veto. Hopefully he will. Regards from a loyal fan, Gary

Keystone beer is a product of the Coors Brewing Company in Golden, Colorado. It was first introduced in Chico, California in September 1989. Keystone can be found in can, keg, and occasionally bottled form. Keystone Light has a 4.13% ABV; a concentration less than standard American lagers, and roughly equal to other macro "light" brews. Three varieties of Keystone have been produced, as well as the original: Keystone, introduced 1989, found with a gold can with a red label, later changed to Keystone Premium; Keystone Light, introduced 1989, found with a blue label; Keystone Dry, introduced 1991, found with a black can, red label; and Keystone Ice, introduced 1994, "ice brewed ale," found with a black label.

While both made me snort, I can't decide which is cooler. A Lego Ron Swanson or a Lego Breaking Bad.

I used to be like you... a long time ago. All brand new and perfect. No mistakes, no regrets. People look at you and think of how wonderful your future will be. They want you to be something special... like a doctor or a lawyer. I hate to tell you this, but if you grow up here, you're more likely to wind up selling your bodies on the streets, or shooting dope from dirty needles in a bus stop. And if you're successful, you'll make money selling junk to crackheads. And don't think twice about killing someone's wife, because you won't even know it's wrong in the first place. Maybe... you'll end up like me... A hobo with a shotgun! I hope you can do better.

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