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Ernie's House of Whoopass! July 3, 2013
July 3, 2013

"Intelligence Is The Handmaiden Of Flexibility And Change." - Vernor Vinge.

The United States armed forces used various versions of the Winchester Model 12 pump action shotgun in World War I, World War II, Korea, and in the early part of the Vietnam War, until inventory was exhausted after initial production ceased in 1964. Versions of the Model 12 were type classified as the Model 12 or M12 for short, and known as trench guns. Approximately 20,000 were purchased by the US Army in World War I, differing from the civilian version by having a shorter barrel, a perforated steel heat shield, and a M1917 bayonet adapter. Unlike most modern pump-action shotguns, the Winchester Model 12 had no trigger disconnector. Like the Ithaca 37 trench gun, it too fired each time the action closed with the trigger depressed. That and its 6-shot capacity made it effective for close-combat.

OMG! Tomorrow is 237 years since our Forefathers signed the Declaration of Independence, right?! Wrong, dumb shit. Although the wording of the Declaration was approved on July 4, the actual date of its signing was August 2. Learn that and a handful of other things about the Declaration of Independence: Part 1 and then Part 2. Although the fate of those who signed the Declaration is sorta true, sorta not.

And while you're in the learnin' mood, little George here does an excellent job explaining the physics that make stepping on Legos hurt so much. And then this chick comes along and says, "Fuck you, Jobu. I do it myself."

On Feb. 14, 2012, President Barack Obama signed the FAA Modernization and Reform Act of 2012, which modernizes the nation's aviation system. Title 18, United States Code, Section 39A establishes a new criminal offense for aiming the beam of a laser pointer at an aircraft in the special aircraft jurisdiction of the United States, or at the flight path of such an aircraft. The crime is punishable by a fine of up to $250,000 and up to five years imprisonment. The statute was enacted in response to a growing number of incidents of pilots being distracted or even temporarily blinded by laser beams. Obviously, they have no such laws in Egypt. It does however, look super fucking cool.

There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call "The Friend Zone". And that Jared one hurts.

The only thing I hate more this, is this. Seriously. The one fucking place I want to go some day, and it's already ruined.

Far from being a leading man, if I were to say the name William Sanderson to you, you probably wouldn't know who he is. But if I said Sheriff Dearborne from True Blood, or slimy little E.B. Farnum from Deadwood, then ah-ha, the light goes on. And surprise, Sanderson is one of actors you would never guess has earned a doctorate degree; his happens to be in law.

Old and busted: Gilbert Godfrey is the danger. The new hotness: Samuel L. Jackson is the danger.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite So My Dad Is Visiting Fo...

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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