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Ernie's House of Whoopass! July 23, 2013
July 23, 2013

Stop And Think For A Second: Obama Is Just As White As Zimmerman.

So long Dennis Farina, you salty old bastard, we hardly knew ye. You sure did deserve your star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Hey I don't want to get you all excited or anything, but I'm going to let you in on a little secret. I love Olivia Munn. Olivia Munn's breasts. Olivia Munn's legs. Olivia Munn's Dress. Olivia Munn's Asian mom. No seriously. Because like my dad, she wasn't afraid to beat that ass. Not that I'm saying violence is the answer to everything, I'm just saying kids these days need a little more of it because there sure as hell wasn't any ADD or school shootings when I was growing up.

Okay seriously, what kind of juice is that?

re: yesterday's big black D -- this is big and black and barely fits in my hand. Noah.

Regarding the steak stone cooking link you put up Saturday. I was on a training trip to Germany in '95. We went to dinner at an inn that Napoleon stayed. Just missed him, damn. They served a steak on a stone and about fifteen of us ordered it. By the time we were done everybody was sweating and it was a relief when they cleared the table. The temperature dropped drastically. One of the guys asked about buying a stone. Turned out he was wearing a Sonics hat and one of the players had a tie to the town. The owner traded a stone for the hat. It does make for an interesting meal. Just thought I'd pass it on. Phil

Old and busted: Hit Girl saves the day. The new hotness: the stuntmen from Kick Ass 2 save the day. And while I know it was based upon a comic, which I've never read and really have no desire to, I was a huge fan of Kick Ass [full movie part 1 - part 2]. By the way -- the big titty girl in red? Katrena Rochell. And that took more research than I'd like to admit. So at first I was very excited when they released the sequel -- Kick Ass 2 NSFW redband trailer -- but at the same time horribly disappointed in who was taking over for Nicholas Cage/Big Daddy. Yeah, this asshole. I just can't see myself willingly putting money into the pocket of that crying little bitch. So I'm not quite sure how I'm going to handle this.

But one sequel I don't have any qualms about seeing at all, is the upcoming Machete Kills. And I know everyone is all excited about seeing Sophia Vergara and her machine gun boobs, but I'll let you in on a little secret. The real sexbomb in that flick? Michelle Rodrguez? Nope. It's Amber Heard as Miss San Antonio. Yes, THIS Amber Heard from The Informers, and so I say to you Johnny Depp: nice pull, brotha!

Ernie, For Sale: One slightly used wetsuit. Color: Brown. Dave in El Paso


BIG SHIPS ARE COOL: A total of 64 cars were aboard cargo ship Astongate traveling from Toyama, Japan, to Vladivostok, Russia. After the storm hit the ship -- 52 of them ended up at the bottom of the sea. Whoever bought those cars signed a document allowing the cargo to be transported on ship's deck at their own risk.

WARDROBE MALFUNCTIONS ARE COOL: Brie Bella's right titty was exposed on WWE Monday Night Raw last evening.

BIG SHIPS ARE COOL: Crudd Parts manufacture upgrade parts for R/C quadrotor aircraft. From onboard the bulk carrier Pioneer, here is a video of Crudd Parts co-founder Luke letting his latest creation stretch its legs.

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