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Ernie's House of Whoopass! August 8, 2013
August 8, 2013

"Overseas You Are Ready For It. But Here You Can't Even Defend Yourself." - Specialist Jerry Richard

The Fort Hood shooting was a mass murder that took place on November 5, 2009 at Fort Hood near Killeen, Texas. In the course of the shooting, Nidal Malik Hasan, a then 39-year-old U.S. Army major serving as a psychiatrist, fatally shot 13 people and injured more than 30 others. It is the worst shooting ever to take place on an American military base. Several individuals, including Senator Joe Lieberman, General Barry McCaffrey, and others have called the event a terrorist attack. The Department of Defense and federal law enforcement agencies have classified the shootings as an act of workplace violence. They have declined requests from survivors and family members of the slain to categorize it as act of terrorism, or motivated by militant Islamic religious convictions. In November 2011 a group of survivors and family members filed a lawsuit against the government for negligence in preventing the attack, and to force the government to classify the shootings as terrorism. Days after the shooting, reports in the media revealed that a Joint Terrorism Task Force had been aware of e-mail communications between Hasan and the Yemen-based cleric Anwar al-Awlaki, who had been monitored by the NSA as a security threat, and that Hasan's colleagues had been aware of his increasing radicalization for several years. The failure to prevent the shootings led the Defense Department and the FBI to commission investigations, and Congress also held hearings.

A common misconception by anyone who has never been on a military base before, is there are guns everywhere and everyone is armed. In fact the Fort Hood massacre is often cited by proponents of gun-free zones, as proof that an armed populace could not defend themselves in a mass shooting type of event. But that's a load of absolute bullshit. The ironic truth is, nothing could be further from the truth. And I know this flies in the face of conventional logic, but aside from the base security personnel and the isolated firing range, military bases are gigantic gun-free-zones. Back on Hansom, firearms were prohibited from the enlisted dorms, and those that lived in base housing had to actually store their weapons at the base armory. That always seemed to baffle me. How people who are trusted to use military grade automatic weapons in a battlefield (or a foreign neighborhood) weren't trusted to carry civilian grade firearms around their own neighborhood.

To put a little bit of a Wile-E-Coyote-jumping-off-a-cliff-holding-an0umbrella spin on how absurd this is -- or any gun-free zone, in fact -- take a look at this HE HATES THESE CANS! scene from The Jerk. That was made back in 1979. And aside from the slapstick style comedy at the beginning, one of the biggest jokes of that scene is the 'CARNIVAL PERSONNEL ONLY' sign at the end; and how a man hellbent on committing first-degree murder would be deterred from completing his mission... by a simple sign. Back then, that was comedy. The absurdity of that idea, was the actual joke. And yet here we are a few decades later and it's bitter reality. I figure it can't be too long until the writers of Airplane! start drafting FAA legislation.

Three added bonuses: In case you missed the gas pump math, 26.3 gallons of gasoline for $26.41 = $0.995 per gallon. The madman was firing a M16A1 rifle, later outlawed by the auspiciously named Firearm Owners Protection Act of 1986, and Shithead the dog later went on to hate these balloons.

Bed size refers to the dimensions of a mattress and the names by which standard sizes are called. Beds themselves vary widely in size according to the size of the frame and degree of ornamentation but are sold according to the size of mattress they take. The dimensions and names vary considerably around the world, with most countries having their own standards and terminology. The standard North American bed sizes are: Twin 38 inches × 75 inches, Full (or double) 54 in × 75 in, Queen 60 in × 80 in, and King 76 in × 80 in. A king-sized bed may have a king-sized box spring or, more commonly, two smaller box-springs (each the size of a twin bed) under a king-sized mattress.

Hi Ernie, That mystery beer picture struck me as Russian right off the bat. Not 100% on this, but I think the beer is Hebckoe. John in Melbourne, FL

Ern, I couldn't even budge the drum. Ryan

The weird part is -- and this shocked me really -- aside from being really fucking cool -- buying that 55 gallon drum isn't that much of a bargain. it breaks down to $6,500 / 12,500 rounds = $0.52 per round. For full power mil grade ammo, that's about, eh, par for the course. You can buy almost the same stuff: 1,200 rounds of 55 grain .223 with drybox, for $499 which is $0.42 per round. I would think the drum way would be cheaper since you're buying in bulk -- and need to bring your own fucking pickup truck.

In honor of the Volleyball Blowjob and Charley's Fenway Threesome, I present to you.... the most famous cases of fans caught in the act.

USPS's Flat Rate options make shipping with the post office even easier. With Flat Rates, you pay one rate no matter the weight, or where the package is going, making their Flat Rate options a simpler way to ship a package. You get delivery in 1, 2, or 3 days based on where your package started and where it's being sent, free boxes and envelopes, free package pickup at your home or business, USPS Tracking, and limited free insurance coverage against loss or damage.

So since you seemed to be in a "pull it out and show" mode, the rules of the game dic(k)tate I now show you mine. Attached is a picture of my Mosin with the Archangel stock. I know it seems silly to install a $200 stock to a $100 rifle but it is a dream to shoot. Just the detachable mag alone sold me on the idea. Bonus: the 5rd mag that come with the stock had a malfunction and wouldn't feed if you loaded more than three rounds. Contacted Promag and they replaced it in short order with the 10rd variant they offer. Nathan

The paving stones are in a houndstooth pattern, not herringbone. Keepin' everybody honest, Skip ... P.S. - I think Anna Gunn's tits are fantastic! Just sayin'.

Thanks for the heads up, Skip. Perhaps you can tell me what year Oldsmobile is this? In the meantime, never, ever, ever, tacticool up your vintage World War II rifles. Ever.

Ject explores the intrinsic human fascination with throwing bouncy balls and is built on a simple game mechanic: can you throw a ball into a cup? And I debated putting this game as a DUDEWTF thumbnail link, but ran out of room. Someone made a fucking game where you act as a border guard to some Soviet bloc country, looking for suspicious mistakes or forgeries in travel documents. It's called Papers Please; look for it soon at a bus station near you.

sharon stone recreates her "basic instinct" leg cross

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