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Ernie's House of Whoopass! September 4, 2013
September 4, 2013

Obviously Ernie's Mother Didn't Eat Chicken Wings While She Was Pregnant.

American Tourister is a brand of suitcase founded by immigrant Sol Koffler in Providence, Rhode Island in either 1932 or 1933. He was determined to produce luggage priced at $1 in the midst of the Great Depression. The company's breakthrough came soon after when Koffler devised a new line that was significantly better than that of the competition; he named it American Tourister. In 1970, American Tourister launched a memorable ad campaign, highlighting the durability of its product by unleashing a "gorilla" (actually a man in a costume) on it. In 1993, American Tourister was acquired by Astrum International, which also made Samsonite luggage, and has now become a lower-end version of its Samsonite sister brand.

Preparing for an apocalyptic event has been on the minds of people for generations. For some, it's nothing more than putting away several weeks' worth of water and food to survive a natural disaster. But for others who take it WAY more serious, it's all about being prepared for a cataclysmic event that could change life as we know it. For American prepper Brent, a medieval castle is the perfect defense for the doomsday scenario he fears will set the world back to the Dark Ages, like when an electromagnetic burst causes massive power grid failure a'la Jericho. So with the help of his children, Brent is on a quest to finish his towering castle that is isolated deep in the Carolina mountains. Such is the basis for National Geographic's new series, "Doomsday Castle" -- you can see the premire episode here on Youtube: No Such Thing As A Fair Fight. Added bonus: if the gal's think Daryl and his crossbow are sexy, then guys, get a load of Lindsey and her crossbow. And by "crossbow" I mean "huge boobs."

Good news: My beloved Oakland Raiders came in #1 in the NFL. Bad news: It was on the list of the least valuable team in the NFL.

Sup Ernie. I sent you the pictures of two jets rammed wingtip to tail by the tug crew at DCA awhile back. Here's another head shaker. This poor son of a bitch managed to ram a static wick into his freggin eye ball by walking into it. What is a static wick your readers may wonder? Well it's a small bundle of wires wrapped in insulation, exposed on the end and affixed to the aircraft structure. It's purpose to dissipate static electricity that forms during flight. You'll see several of these things on the trailing edge of the wings on the airplane in the picture. They're hard to see but I count about 4 on the aileron. We'll 3 now, I guess... Heads up! hahaha -- Ed

I love a heart shaped ass, but I don't know about this [ROASTBEEF]. Robert

Many British schoolchildren experienced close brushes with death during World War II. Professor Roger Taylor had his first encounter with the Luftwaffe while living in Torquay. Taylor, his sister and a friend were heading home from a playground when the siren sounded. With 400 yards to go and about 30 seconds before the planes hit, Taylor lay down in the gutter. He said, "The planes, were so low that I could see the pilots clearly. Machine gun bullets were spraying all around." In the face of such drama and hardship, the disruption of his schooling was, as he puts it, "inconsequential."

Actress Alison Pill, best remembered from Scott Pilgrim vs. The World and her recent stint on Aaron Sorkin's The Newsroom, has taken a more direct approach to nude celebrity photo leaks by posting her own topless photo to Twitter . At first it was unclear if Pill was trying to direct-message the pic to someone, but regardless the photo somehow found its way to all 13,597 of her followers. She quickly deleted it, but was kind enough to confirm that she did in fact just post a naked photo of herself to Twitter by accident.

The photo spread features Victoria's Secret Angels like Miranda Kerr, Candice Swanepoel -- I obsessively love her -- Constance Jablonski, Andreea Diaconu and others in a state of undress that you might not be used to. The photos are decidedly NSFW, so if you're in a public space you might want to wait this one out.

15 bizarre commercial buildings that look like something else

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Yeah I Gotchu Fam Weeken...

So Where The Fuck Did EHOWA Go?...

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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