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Ernie's House of Whoopass! September 20, 2013
September 20, 2013

Are You Telling Me That You Men Finished Your Training On Your Own?

If you go out on the water at all, it's a good idea to know how to operate a boat throttle. It's a fairly simple process. You have only two gears, forward and reverse, so you don't have to worry about shifting gears. On most boats, the throttle consists of one or two levers connected to the engine by cables. Start with the throttle in the middle (neutral) position, with the lever arm straight up. The engine should be idling with the transmission in neutral. Slowly push the lever forward to engage the forward gear. The further you push the lever, the faster you will go. To slow the boat, pull the lever back. To stop the boat, pull the lever back to the middle position.

Not wanting to be outdone by that shithead Cuomo in New York, California Governor Jerry Brown currently has one and a half metric shit tons of anti-gun legislation sitting on his desk, waiting for him to either sign or veto. He has until october 13th to make up his mind. One of those bills from Feinsteinland is SB374, which would ban semiautomatic weapons that have detachable magazines capable of rapid firing. Yep, ban all semi-autos with detachable mags. Make a third of your citizens criminals with the swipe of a pen, fucking crazy, isn't it? I hope he's got the balls to veto some if not all of these bills, but I'm not holding my breath. And neither are some other people. Erring in the just-in-case column, there is a distributor in California that (I think) is trying to liquidate some of their mag stock: Allied Armory in Montebello is selling 30 round Maglevel PMAGs -- remember those are the ones with the clear plastic windows so you can actually see how many cartridges you have left -- for only $10.95 with $7.95 shipping no matter how many you buy. That's cheaper than ALL ths other places are selling the standard non-windowed ones.

And if you think this isn't a precursor of things to come, consider this. One of the rifles I've always wanted to add to my collection is a nice Springfield M1 Garand, the first standard-issue semi-automatic rifle of the American armed forces, replacing the bolt-action M1903 Springfield in 1936. During World War II, General General George S. Patton called it, "the greatest battle implement ever devised." That's right. The M1 Garand is 77 years old and right now there are some 100,000 of those sitting in South Korea, just awaiting to come back home to American soil. And I can assure you one of those would be as snug as a bug in a rug sleeping in my gun safe... but guess what? Some fucking idiot that we all know is blocking their reimportation. Why? Because they're considered "military grade weapondry" that's why. because when's the last time you've ever heard of a school shooting or liquor store robbery with a fucking World War II era surplus rifle that was made famous in the graduation scene from Stripes?

And in other news, I'm thinking about buying Lydia's lipstick smudged mug and slowly filling it with semen over the next few months. Here's the entire lot of Breaking Bad props.

Hi Ernie, Zipline fail! My head slams into the crossbar. I'm still all shaken up. Aloha Carrie :-)

Hey Ernie, A few days ago you posted about the shooting at the Fairchild AFB hospital and how Airman Andrew Brown stopped the shooter with a pistol shot from 70 yards. Imagine my surprise when I go to listen to my favorite podcast this morning and they start of with not only a letter written to them by Airman Brown, but also a phone interview with him. If you want to check it out then look up the Mike O'Meara show or on iTunes. The episode in question is #899 "Bazooka". On top of talking to a true hero it's a very entertaining show anyways, and they always show a lot of support for the troops and veterans as well. Check them out. Will

The Irish Setter is a breed of gundog and family dog. Irish Setters get along well with children, other dogs, and any household pets, and will enthusiastically greet visitors. Even though they do well with household pets, small animals may pose a problem for this breed, as they are a hunting breed. Some Irish setters may have problems with cats in the house, and may be too rambunctious with small children. The modern Red Setter is smaller than its bench-bred cousin. While show dogs often reach 70 lb, the working Red Setter is generally around 45 lb. The coat is less silky and generally shorter.

You can't just walk into the grocery store and assume that anything you buy will be good for you, or even 100% real food. There are chemicals, there are additives, and there are highly processed sugars and salts in just about everything. Then, on top of that, you have sly marketing and labeling. Governments around the world try to ensure food producers are not misleading consumers, but the regulations are always a step (or three) behind. So if you want to eat healthy you've got to inform yourself. Here's a list of foods that seem healthy but aren't. Every day we are confronted with choices when it comes to food, and while you may think you're always making the best choices, you may be mistaken.

There are two main reasons why flight attendants pester people to keep those seats up—to keep injuries to a minimum during a crash and to clear the maximum amount of space for a quick exit. The science is pretty basic, as explained by Brian Manning, a flight attendant for Mesa Airlines. "When the seat is up, it is locked. When the seat is back, it's not locked. In the event of an emergency, an unlocked seat has more force during impact, and the thrusting forward of that seat can cause passenger injury." Also, Manning notes, people sitting behind a seat that is reclined or unlocked will not be able to brace properly. And yes, there are proper and improper ways of bracing.

Ran across this. It was interesting at first, but then it just gets ridiculous. He states he has two law suits against him…. I can only wonder why. Armor plated doors, bullet proof glass on an eclipse? WTF Honky Lips! –Ryan

Hey Ernie, Gotta correct you on the Czar 52 crash - no idea who told you a KC-135 on the runway contributed, but that's not true. The full Wiki article is pretty good - nutshell summary is hotshot pilot who pushed the limits wayyyyy too often and wasn't corrected by the USAF higher-ups. The one hero in this sordid story is the co-pilot who told his men not to fly with Holland and did it himself - he paid the price. Similar occurrence many years later with this C-17 crash at Elmendorf. Also, that AWACS crew has a very tough situation - basically lost both left-side engines shortly after takeoff, so were low, slow, and heavy. alek

Well I'll split that one with you 50/50, Alek. In my Tuesday post I wrote, "the aircraft came into land. Due to a KC-135 Stratotanker still being on the runway," which isn't entirely correct; they were just going to do a touch-n-go, not a landing. "The B-52 aircraft, callsign Czar 52, took off at 13:58 and completed most of the mission's elements without incident. Upon preparing to execute the touch-and-go on Runway 23 at the end of the practice profile, the aircraft was instructed to go-around because a KC-135 aircraft had just landed and was on the runway. Maintaining an altitude of about 250 feet (75 m) above ground level (AGL), Holland radioed the control tower and asked for permission to execute a 360° left turn, which was immediately granted by the tower controller."

Grand Theft Auto V, one of the most anticipated video games of the year, has beaten sales figures posted by previous installments in the violent and controversial adventure game series. The latest rendition generated more than $800 million in sales on Tuesday alone, its first day on store shelves. Did you hear what I said? Almost a billion fucking dollars in sales. On the first day. Alone. And so far here are: the best cheats, the best GIFs, the best glitches, the best knockouts, and the of the bunch. You're welcome.

Tendons are tissues that connect muscles to bone. When muscles contract, tendons pull on bones. This causes parts of the body, such as fingers and toes, to move. The muscles that move the fingers and thumb are located in the forearm. Long tendons extend from these muscles through the wrist and attach to the small bones of the fingers and thumb. The tendons on the top of the hand straighten the fingers. These are known as extensor tendons. The tendons on the palm side bend the fingers. These are known as the flexor tendons. When you bend and straighten your finger, these two tendons tendons slide through snug tunnels, called tendon sheaths, that keep the tendons in place next to the bones.

suck it tom brady, i'll take andrew's luck's piece: 25 hottest NFL wags of 2013

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