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Ernie's House of Whoopass! October 16, 2013
October 16, 2013

Yes, I Still Hate Tom Brady.

"In our society, breast cancer is hidden behind a small pink bow. The public needs to be educated."

Here's a quick proposal for you: do me a solid and vote for Lucky Dog Red Label -- it does NOT require any sort of login/registration -- and I'll save you a seat next to me on the bus. Deal?

For the record, there is only one Superman, his name was Christopher Reeve, and he is dead. All others who try to follow in his footsteps will fail. I don't care what anyone says, there will never be another Superman, period. With that in mind, I clicked through this Superhero movie faceoff to see what was the ultimate superhero movie to me. First is starts out pretty easy... Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III vs Catwoman? Please. But then as you narrow the field you're faced with Ironman vs Blade. That's a tough one. In the end, The Avengers came out on top for me, so let's see how you do. And overall how does poor Reeve fare? All the way down to the 12th spot. And my buddy Spawn? Sucked hind tit.

But people up in New England think Tom Fucking Brady is Superman. And the part that really, really frosts my ass, is they're usually right. Except for the fact that Reeve never needed hair plugs for his receding hairline, of course. So in honor of Tom Brady's latest pulling-it-out-of-his-ass miracle -- yeah I'm sure you fucking guys up in Boston are just high-fiving yourselves right about now -- here are the best 4th quarter comebacks of his career. And yes, watching the evolution of Tom Brady's hair is almost as frightening as watching the evolution of Amanda Bynes' face.

And speaking of scary faces, with Halloween right around the corner, let's tip our hat to our old pal Jason Voorhees with a little bit of Friday the 13th trivia nudity. Of all of those, my personal favorite is Debi Sue Voorhees, who by a strange twist of fate, shares the same last name as our machete weilding goaltender. Also at the age of nineteen -- five years prior to her appearance in New Beginning -- she won a best body contest and worked as a waitress at a Playboy Club. So she gets my Friday the 13th gold star, right up until 2009 when Julianna Guill wrestled the crown away from her. Anyway, if you're a fan, here are the original 1981 and 2009 versions of Friday the 13th.

Anyway, if you haven't heard about 9 year old football star Samantha Gordon, now is your chance to catch up on the Sweet Feet.

You can bring one small carry-on bag plus one personal item per passenger as long as the carry-on bag fits comfortably in the sizer without being forced. The maximum size carry-on bag for most airlines can not exceed overall dimensions of 45 inches (length + width + height), while the maximum dimensions cannot exceed any of the following measurements: 22" long x 14" wide x 9" tall. All carry-on items should be stowed in an overhead bin.


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