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Ernie's House of Whoopass! December 11, 2013
December 11, 2013

And Then The True Meaning Of Christmas Came Through, And The Grinch Found The Strength Of Ten Grinches, Plus Two!

"A Waverly family will have a joyful reunion this Christmas thanks to an organization that provides active military service members with plane tickets to visit their families. Nicholas Norris, a member of the U.S. Air Force stationed at Ramstein Air Base in Germany, will be able to come home during the holiday season courtesy of “Let's Bring Em Home!”, which was founded in 2001 by Ernie Stewart, a former airman himself. Norris, who is 19, is a Waverly High School graduate. According to Scott and April Clemmons, Norris' parents, they had never even heard of the program until recently when family friend Dawnya Burton told them about it. According to Scott Clemmons, Norris applied for a ticket from the organization, and it was an astronomical chance that he would be picked. April Clemmons said this would have been her son's first Christmas away from home, and the family was very happy when they found out that he would be coming home after all."

So far we have completed 91 ticket requests using $67,000 in donations, with more than $7,400 in additional requests awaiting funds. So how's about I makes you a deal? You make a quick donation to LBEH and I won't tell anyone that you pissed your pants at the Jets game, or that you secretly like Miley's Wrecking Ball. And we won't even talk about what I found in your closet. Deal?

And to be fair I usually think these Elf on a Shelf ideas are fucking stupid, but then something like this comes along and changes all that. Kind of the exact opposite of Zooey Deschanel who I used to swoon for as a blonde in Elf, but now she just looks like a busted ass Katy Perry.

Gday Ernie, I'm a long time reader from Wodonga, Australia. Thought you might like this story of an Australian Jesus living in the UK. Cheers Matt ... PS Shout out to my Bro, keeping the peace, in the Aussie army in Juba, South Sudan.

Justin Bieber's mom recently tweeted that she would like to have another child. Unless her demands are met.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey is an American reality television series that debuted on May 12, 2009, and airs on Bravo. It is the network's fourth installation of The Real Housewives franchise. The Real Housewives of New Jersey chronicles the lives of several women in and around communities in New Jersey. It was later announced that the series would debut on May 12, 2009, with Caroline Manzo, Jacqueline Laurita, Teresa Giudice, Dina Manzo, and Danielle Staub as the cast. For the first time in the franchise, the series followed housewives who all knew another: sisters Caroline and Dina are married to brothers Albert and Tommy Manzo, and Jacqueline Laurita is married to Caroline and Dina's brother, Chris Laurita. Dina and Tommy Manzo would later end up divorced.

"You don't want that 1911 – that technology is over 100 years old," and "I want the FN Five-Seven, I used it on Counter Strike," plus eight other great things overheard in a your local gun store.

Hey Ernie, In keeping with todays bear post, here are some pics I got in a e-mail yesterday. The story that came with the email was wrong, so I tracked down the real story. "FORT FRASER, British Columbia – It was a fight for survival that lasted only a few minutes, but one that Wayne Ray won't soon forget. On the afternoon of August 27, Ray watched in amazement as a young bear tried to snatch a calf from his herd of cattle on the family ranch in north-central British Columbia. What happened next was like a scene out of Wild Kingdom. “(The bear) made a beeline for a calf,” recalled Ray. But the large mother of the calf charged at the bear and knocked it flying. “Immediately, two other cows joined in and the three of them took turns stomping it with their front feet, kicking it with their back feet, and crushing it to the ground with their chests and their heads,” said Ray. “I thought he would leave, but that bear was awfully stupid – he went back three more times.” "The noise was incredible with the thundering of hoofs and the vocalizing of the cows and calves and the squealing of the bear," Ray recalled." Robert

According to a regulation handed down by the ATF, alcoholic beverages cannot be described as refreshing in advertisements. That and a fistful of other ridiculous drinking laws from around the United States.

Kilometers per hour is a measurement of speed typically used in countries using the metric system for transport. Road speed limits are given in kilometers per hour which is abbreviated as kph or km/h. Miles per hour is a measurement of speed typically used in non-metric countries for transport such as the USA. The United Kingdom also uses this on the roads although officially the metric system has been adopted. Road speed limits are given in miles per hour which is abbreviated as mph. An easy way to convery KPH to MPH is to multiply by 6 and then move the decimal place over one digit. For example, 60 kph x 6 = 360, moving the decimal place over one, is equivilent to about 36 mph.

Some of the best advice from my youth, "The best time to look for a new job is when you don't need one." With that in mind, for those of you like me on the Gulf Coast and those poor suckers further north, let's talk storm and disaster preparedness. Pick up a LifeStraw personal water filter for $14.99 shipped, and a two pack (2x29 meals) of Mountain House Just In Case emergency rations, $91.98 shipped.

pet rocks, doggles and snuggies: bizarre inventions that made serious bucks

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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