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Ernie's House of Whoopass! December 12, 2013
December 12, 2013

What's Not Possible? The Man Is An Artist. It's His Best Performance Ever!

So last night I got into watching Arnold Schwarzenegger's Last Action Hero -- wow, 20 years already!? -- and was taken aback at how many faces I recognized. The role of Death was played by none other than Gandalf, Schwarzenegger super hot daughter Whitney was played by Billy Madison's 3rd grade teacher -- who did gear down in a scene for 1997's The Real Blonde -- and of course the bad guy Benedict was played by Tywin Lannister. Anyway, if you skip forward to the 1:48:00 mark, there's a little play on movie violence vs real life violence that kind of made me LOL, especially the part about emergency rooms. Oh and the little kid Danny from Last Action Hero? Yeah, he's a nobody now.

Since the beginning of the week, this video has been making its rounds of a Knockout Game gone wrong in Las Vegas. Dude tries to knock out some girl, fails and then she and her boyfriend [THUMB RING] beat the everloving shit out of him, including a nice kick to the chops. But -- sigh -- turns out all may not be as it seems since Le Policia have investigated and determined the two parties know each other, so it was some sort of personal beef. All I know is that kind of shit will get you a lifelong ban from Walmart.

And just about every year we see at least one or two superstar athletes call it a career. There will be some speculation, they will call a press conference, they will announce their retirement [PINCH PINCH] and thank the fans and their organization, and then people in the media will write some nice stories about them. This year, however, is different. In 2013 we didn't just see one or two big name athletes hang it up, we saw a shitload of them. So with just three weeks remaining in 2013, let's take a look back at the storied careers that came to and end over the past 12 months.

Need to do some Christmas shopping for somebody [CAMERA BAG] who loves gadgets? Need to give somebody else some ideas about what to buy you? Well, this list is for you if you happen to be working with a relatively modest budget. The really big tech items—your PlayStation 4s, your Xbox Ones, your iPad Airs—those are obvious, but also fucking expensive. It's harder to find great tech gifts on a small budget but here are 17 great suggestions, all running under $50. And if your budget is below that, don't worry as well.

ONE DAY ONLY! $50 Gift Card with $150 Order with coupon "SG3275" or FREE SHIPPING no minimum "SH1744"!

c'mon baby, can't we all just get along: 10 misunderstood and misguided villans


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