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Ernie's House of Whoopass! January 17, 2014
January 17, 2014

If They Really Sold Those Stickers, I'd Buy Them By The Truckload.

Wow, did you know there's a whole Pinterest thread dedicated to pool noodle tricks and tricks? Although I searched pretty thoroughly, I couldn't find any moving tips so I'm not sure what's going on there.

Her face might not be familiar - but with more than 1.7 million fans on Instagram, Jen Selter may have the world's most famous ass. She regularly notches up 80,000 likes per post with pics of her sculpting her body in yoga pants and sports bra. Her daily workout routine of around two hours includes cardio, squats and bodyweight exercises to sculpt her famous behind.

"Wigs, Tans, and Boobs" -- when referring to Jennifer Lawrence, these are all good things. So here are some honest titles for 2014's Oscar nominated movies.

There's not much I can say really except that for any girl with long hair, who doesn't want to wash it every day, there's nothing better than a shower cap, allowing you to shower care free without worrying about getting your hair wet.

Grammer and speling be importantly to me, so I'm almost not sure what's more painful about this: suffering through the initial tattoo, or knowing you've got to live with a misspelled tattoo for the rest of your life.

Ernie, I enjoyed the search for the shipwreck. After being beaten to the answer I found a bit more about the beach. A nudist beach! Here are some more pics there. Smell ya later, Mole

Okay, I'll bite. What the fuck is that red thing? is that a speaker?

At age 15, Mitnick used social engineering to bypass the punch card system used in the Los Angeles bus system. After a friendly bus driver told him where he could buy his own ticket punch, he could ride any bus in the greater LA area using unused transfer slips he found in the trash. Social engineering became his primary method of obtaining information, including user-names and passwords and modem phone numbers. Mitnick first gained unauthorized access to a computer network in 1979, at 16, when a friend gave him the phone number for the Ark, the computer system Digital Equipment Corporation used for developing their RSTS/E operating system software. He broke into DEC's computer network and copied their software, a crime he was charged with and convicted of in 1988. He was sentenced to 12 months in prison followed by three years of supervised release. Near the end of his supervised release, Mitnick hacked into Pacific Bell voice mail computers. After a warrant was issued for his arrest, Mitnick fled, becoming a fugitive for two and a half years. According to the U.S. Department of Justice, Mitnick gained unauthorized access to dozens of computer networks while he was a fugitive. In 1999, Mitnick confessed to four counts of wire fraud, two counts of computer fraud and one count of illegally intercepting a wire communication, as part of a plea agreement before the United States District Court for the Central District of California in Los Angeles. Arguably the most notorious hacker ever and now a computer security specialist, when Kevin Mitnick says your website's security fucking sucks, it fucking sucks.

Woodchuck Hard Cider is a brand of hard cider produced by the Vermont Hard Cider Company, LLC in Middlebury, Vermont. It is the top-selling hard cider in the United States, with approximately 47% of the hard cider market in the US. All Woodchuck ciders are naturally gluten-free because the product is made from apples only, without any grains.

Ernie, Did you know about this site? I'm sending the , but the site has all kinds of stuff about steam engines. Hope you like it. -Ron

As the old saying goes, black is beautiful, and Playboy has discovered some amazing black beauties over the years. We've combed through the Playmate archives on the all-new Playboy Plus and found the 15 favorite black models who had the honor of being Playboy Playmates.

Old and busted: see-thru car. The new hotness: see-thru revolver. Which is kinda neat, even if it is a Taurus.

I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance tomorrow morning I'll get up nice and early, take a walk down over to the bank and... walk in and see and, uh... if you don't have my money for me, I'll... crack your fuckin' head wide-open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time that I'm comin' out of jail, hopefully, you'll be coming out of your coma. And guess what? I'll split your fuckin' head open again. 'Cause I'm fuckin' stupid. I don't give a fuck about jail. That's my business. That's what I do.

I wonder if this old school 80's era Thor glass is worth anything?

Hey remember those boxes of .22 I picked up for ($23.99 shipped / 525 rounds = $0.045 per round) last month? I gathered two bricks of 525 and an extra sleeve of 100 I had laying around and traded this guy for 700 rounds of 7.62x39, which is usually about $0.24 per round. THAT'S how fucking scarce .22 still is these days.

russell johnson -- the professor on gilligan's island, and wwii hero -- passes at 89

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Yeah I Gotchu Fam Weeken...

So Where The Fuck Did EHOWA Go?...

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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