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Ernie's House of Whoopass! February 5, 2014
February 5, 2014

Some Photos Just Deserve A Little More Explanation, Ya Know?

The 4-string banjo is any one of a number of long-necked lute-like stringed instruments with a hollow resonator body and four strings. The instrument was particularly popular in the United States in the early 20th century, and extensively used in jazz. It was also available as a hybrid banjo-ukelele. It enjoyed a brief renaissance in the late 1940s with Mike Pingatore's hit, a revival of "I'm Looking Over a Four-Leaf Clover". In Brazil it is an important instrument also known as "Samba-banjo" or banjo-cavaco, derived from the cavaco, and is especially associated with Samba and its variants. The Brazilian 4-string banjo was first introduced by musician Almir Guineto in the late 1970s and early 1980s, attending on one hand the necessity for a louder instrument similar to the cavaco, and on the other, the drive for innovation.

Philornis downsi is a species of fly that was first recorded in Trinidad and Brazil in the 1990s. It has been accidentally introduced to the Galapagos Islands. Adult P. downsi feed on fruit. Eggs are laid in bird nests and hatch into parasitic larvae which reside in the nest material and emerge at night to feed both internally and externally on the blood and flesh of developing nestlings. The parasite is causing significant mortality in Darwin's finch nestlings and threaten the survival of some rarer species such as the Mangrove Finch and the Medium Tree Finch.

Earlier this year I mentioned the record-breaking 140ft tall Verrückt Meg-a-Blaster waterslide currently under construction in Kansas City. The brains behind the Verrückt waterslide, which is taller than the Niagara Fucking Falls, have since released a new POV video which should come with a shit-your-pants warning. Brave visitors to Schlitterbahn Park first must climb 264 steps, before reaching speeds of more than 60mph on the way down. The waterslide is expected to open to the public in May.

I suspect this Google Maps imagery is old since the roadsign has been uypdated after a new restaurant moved in, as evidenced by this recent photo.

First it was the vague Russian law outlawing “gay propaganda” which is fairly upsetting for the countries of the world that value free speech -- here's Germany's subtle 'Fuck You' to the Russian powers that be. Then came word that the games cost the country an absolutely insane $51 billion, which is even more expensive than the 2008 Summer Games in Beijing and five times more expensive than the Olympics in Vancouver. Now there is the not-so-shocking revelation about why the cost was so high: turns out all the construction contracts were just handed out to the preferred companies, most of whom happen to be owned by politicians or buddies of politicians. No, I'm not talking about HEALTHCARE.GOV I'm talking about the Sochi Olympics; which turns out, scandal and corruption are as much a part of the Olympic tradition as triumphs of the human spirit and celebrations of our common humanity. Don't believe it? Just take a look at this list of scandals from the Winter Games. And if you're headed over to Ruskieland for the Olympics, perhaps that might be a great chance to bring home one of these mail order Russian brides, yes?

Every state has a law that says it is illegal to drive under the influence. What many people do not realize is that most states have some variation of this law that allows police to charge you even when you are not actually driving. Depending on the state, a person can often be charged with attempting to drive or operate or being in actual physical control of a vehicle while under the influence. Usually the penalties are the same as for driving under the influence. There are some scenarios where it is actually possible to get arrested for DUI simply for sitting in your car: if your keys are in the ignition and your blood alcohol content is over .08, you can conceivably be arrested for driving under the influence.

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