E R N I E ' S   H O U S E   O F   W H O O P A S S

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

Somewhere Dick Cheney Is Snickering Into His Oatmeal.

There are two explanations that have are often cited as the reason people started putting limes in their beer. First, Mexican beer bottle caps would get rusty and the lime would wipe it away or clean the lip of the bottle. Second, Rimming the lip of the bottle with a lime would keep flies away. Both of these explanations are false. Beer has three major enemies – Light, Air and Time. We are interested in light. Sunlight breaks down beer. To combat this, you may have noticed that the majority of beers come in brown or green bottles. This prevents the sunlight from getting to the beer and skunking it. Unfortunately, colored glass is more expensive than clear glass; and guess what color the bottles are for the beers you put limes in? Yup. Clear. So sunlight skunks the beer. According to Corona, the reason for the lime is that, "Corona is bottled in clear glass, and before our modern methods of refrigeration and transportation, the opportunity for spoilage from exposure to sunlight was increased. Therefore, the lime technique began as a measure to mask the skunky aromas caused by spoilage."

See Kids, This Is What Happens When You Don't Brush After Eating.

The Florida State Seminoles are the athletic teams representing Florida State University, Tallahassee. They compete as a member of the National Collegiate Athletic Association Division I level, primarily competing in the Atlantic Coast Conference for all sports since the 1991-92 season; within the Atlantic Division in any sports split into a divisional format since the 2005-06 season. The athletic logo, in use since the early 1970s, shows a profile of a shouting Seminole warrior in circle. The model for the logo was Florida State music faculty member Thomas Wright, composer of the Florida State University Fight Song and Victory Song. The use of names and images associated with Seminole history is officially sanctioned by the Seminole Tribe of Florida.

As We All Confront Our Mortality From Time to Time, I Occasionally Wonder How I'll Be Remembered.

A bird bath is an artificial "puddle" or small shallow pond, created with a water-filled basin, in which birds may bathe, cool off, and from which they may drink. A bird bath is an attraction for many different species of birds to visit gardens, especially during the summer and drought periods. Bird baths that provide a reliable source of water year round add to the popularity and "micro-habitat" support. They can be a garden ornament, small reflecting pool, outdoor sculpture, several tiers tall, and part of creating a vital wildlife garden.

Only In America Is Being Gay A Choice, But Being Fat Is Hereditary.

Jesus Christ, how did I almost miss Mardi Gras 2014? Here are some pictures, some more pictures, and a movie.

Twelve Years Ago Today. My How Time Flies.

Twelve years ago today. Frantic phonecalls. Hushed Meetings. Brown walls. Stillness. Tears. I still miss you, mom. But just so everyone doesn't get too bummed out, remember that Mufasa taught us about the circle of life, so let's take a minute to wish Rachael Weisz a happy birthday! On that note, my birthday is coming up in a few months. Just sayin.

Happy International Women's Day To All You Broads Out There.

See, We All Can Just get Along. Rodney Would Be So Proud.

Okay, pop quiz, hotshot. You show up at a random party and friggin Kate Upton is there. You need to take a memorable photo. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?

We're In Italy. The Guy On The Top Bunk Has Gotta Make The Guy's Bed On The Bottom Bunk.

So the guys over at Serious Eats did a pretty big taste test of tortilla chips. Tasters were asked to judge chips based on overall preference, crispness, corn flavor, and saltiness, and salsa was provided for tasters to do a "dip test." Turns out that Frio-Lay is the king of tortilla chips. The two versions of Tostitos we tried (both Tostitos Simply Natural and Tostitos Originals) took first and second place, respectively. Third place went to Santitas, Tostitos' more inexpensive line of chips.

Today's Tribute To Rick Grimes: Stuff And Things, Things And Stuff.

First, a GAME CHALLANGE. It's been a while since we've had a good challenge, amirite? In Physicar, you jump in your vehicle and drive as fast as possible. Avoid dangerous obstacles and collect coins to upgrade your car. Finish all 30 levels with the best time possible to receive three stars rating. Only the best drivers can collect all achievements and compete for top positions in Wall of Fame. I was on level 14 when I paused play to make today's post.

What's The Old Saying About If They're Really Out To Get You?

Shorelines at the interface of marine, estuarine and terrestrial biomes are among the most degraded and threatened habitats in the coastal zone because of their sensitivity to sea level rise, storms and increased human utilization. Previous efforts to protect shorelines have largely involved constructing bulkheads and seawalls which can detrimentally affect nearshore habitats. Recently, efforts have shifted towards "living shoreline" approaches that include biogenic breakwater reefs. Breakwater reef treatments mitigated shoreline retreat by more than 40% at one site, but overall vegetation retreat and erosion rates were high across all treatments and at both sites.

The Best Day To Start Hitting The Gym, Was A Month Ago. The Second Best Day To Start Hitting The Gym, Is Today.

Taco Bueno is a U.S.-based fast-food restaurant chain specializing in Tex-Mex-style Mexican cuisine, founded in 1967 by Bill R. Waugh, an Abilene Christian University(ACU) art graduate. Currently headquartered in Farmers Branch, Texas, the first location was in Abilene, Texas in 1967. The company has 176 locations in Arkansas, Kansas, Missouri, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Texas, and Louisiana with concentrations in North Texas and Oklahoma. All Taco Bueno locations have a self serve salsa bar featuring homemade fresh original red and roasted salsas, fresh pico de gallo, diced onions, and jalapeño peppers.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

Insert Your Favorite St Patrick's Day Joke Here.

It's St. Patrick's Day, and for many that means boiling up a nice authentic Irish dinner of corned beef and cabbage. The funny thing is, it's not that Irish. How it came to be such an icon of Irish-American cuisine is not completely clear, but it goes a little something like this. When Irish immigrants, fleeing the great potato famines, arrived in the Northeast they couldn't find, or afford, the traditional cuts of meat used for their beloved braised dinner. The original Irish recipe actually used a type of lean bacon, made with a cut of pork similar to Canadian bacon. Corned beef came into the picture as a lower-cost substitution, to replace the more expensive and harder to find cut. But, why corned beef? New York's early immigrant populations lived in very crowded neighborhoods, and there was a close proximity between the Irish and Jewish communities.

Insert Your Favorite Title Here.

Swedish death metal is a death metal music scene developed in Sweden. Many Swedish death metal bands are associated with the melodic death metal movement, thus giving Swedish death metal a different sound from other variations of death metal. Unlike American death metal groups, the first Swedish bands were rooted in punk rock. Although Norway is known for its quantity of black metal, Gothenburg in Sweden has a large melodic death metal scene, while Stockholm is known for its more raw death metal scene.

Well, I Make One Hell Of A Dry Martini. And I Can Juggle.

Since 1991, the Ocean Master Advanced Dry Snorkel has guaranteed absolute dryness and incorporated the unique ability to stop water entry. Its airway automatically opens as you surface the water. With this snorkel, and not with a lot of other so-called "dry snorkels", you'll be able to completely submerge. Not a single drop of water will get in to your mouth. The Ocean Master Advanced Dry Snorkel is today the longest selling dry snorkel in the world. It won the International Invention Convention Gold Medal, and is used by tens and thousands of people.

You Get a Free Gun! You Get a Free Gun! Everybody Gets a Free Gun!

So a few months ago I was showing part of my gun collection to someone who was visiting from Massachusetts, and she commented, "Yeah I've got a couple guns back at my house. They used to belong to my ex-husband but he doesn't want them anymore and I don't want them, do you know where I can get rid of them? Do you know if I can just turn them into a police department and have them take them?" I about did a spit take, "ARE YOU TRIPPIN?!" And I promptly volunteered to give them a new home. Well that was then, and this is now. They came to visit again this past week, and after playing the locked box/TSA game, checked two aged pistols in with their luggage.

Fuck You, Fuck You, Fuck You, You're Cool, And Fuck You, I'm Out!

You know, when I first saw this photo I thought Las Vegas but then, nope! The Sun-Sentinel is the major daily newspaper of Broward and South Palm Beach counties, in southern Florida.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

Not Sure If That's Coming Our Or Going In, But Someone Should Call Richard Simmons.

As St. Patrick is Ireland's patron saint, shamrock has been used as a symbol of Ireland since the 18th century, in a similar way to how a rose is used for England, thistle for Scotland and leek for Wales. The shamrock first began to change from a symbol purely associated with St. Patrick, who used it as a metaphor for the Christian Trinity, to an Irish national symbol when it was taken up as an emblem by rival militias, during the turbulent politics of the late eighteenth century.

Yeah, It's Been About Fuck o'Clock Ever Since I Woke Up This Monring.

Blue Moon's Caramel Apple Spiced Ale is a limited autumn release. They blend apple juice with cinnamon, nutmeg, and caramel malts for a warming spice taste. The seasonal blend of spice and caramel malts highlight the crisp apple taste to stir up the tastes of fall. And while it rates middle of the road on The Beer Advocate, I thnk I'd still like to try a bottle or two, regardless.