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Behold: America Summer Up In Four Short Words.

So I had a hard drive shit the bed yesterday morning. Well really I shouldn't say that since it'd been giving subtle warning signs for the last week or so; it'd take upwards of 15-20 seconds to recond to a disk request, with the HDD light stuck on solid the entire time. I was thinking either file system corruption, bad spots on the drive, or a pending total drive failure. Scandisk with surface scan didn't find any problems, so I knew where this train was headed, I just didn't know exactly when it would be pulling into the station. Surprise motherfucker, it was yesterday morning. No worries about data loss since I've learned to keep all of my actual data backed up on two external USB drives, but a shitty system disk meant I couldn't even limp along to get anything done since the simple task of opening the browser took 45-60 seconds while the drive read-re-read-and-re-re-read. So fuck it, I called an audible and headed out to the local nerd store -- in this case Tiger Direct -- and picked up a new Seagate 2TB drive for $79 to replace the piece of shit Hitachi one that died. Unfortunately I haven't run a system image since I first bought the PC two years ago, so I had to sit through one metric ass ton of "Windows is installing critical update 1 of 593,660,124,991..." I got everything back up and dancing late yesterday afternoon, but didn't feel like doing dick all at that time, sorry. If I had I'd have given you a heads up about Rihanna's topless photos which have since been pulled from her Instagram account, but fret no longer for they are still available on her Twitter account. You're welcome.

Boy, Time Just Fucking Flies When You're Having Fun, Eh?

The Beastie Boys are an American hip hop band from New York City, formed in 1981. For the majority of its career, the group consisted of three MCs and musicians Michael "Mike D" Diamond, Adam "MCA" Yauch and Adam "Ad-Rock" Horovitz. "Right Right Now Now" is a song by American hip hop group the Beastie Boys, released as the third single from their sixth studio album To the 5 Boroughs. The trio, along with Doug E. Fresh, performed the song live on the November 11, 2004 episode of Late Night With Conan O'Brien. Yauch died at age 47 on May 4, 2012, after a three-year battle with salivary gland cancer.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

Yeah, Ana Always Gets Invited To All The Cool Parties.

Most modern ropes are made of two components – a core that takes the bulk of the load, accounting for up to 95 per cent of the rope's strength, and a protective outer cover that provides abrasion resistance, protection from sunlight and so on. Although there has not been a sea change in rope technology over the past few years, there has still been significant development, with applications that might once have required a 14mm line now served by one of 8mm. This gives an opportunity to save a considerable amount of weight. In the case of halyards, this is saved aloft, which has the additional benefit of improving stability.

After Searching And Searching, I Finally Found It.

Highlighting a game I discovered this weekend -- see if you can get past level 9 of 25 in Concentric Holic.

Kid, Don't Take This The Wrong Way, But I'm Going To Rub One Out To Your Mom.

I suspect this might be one of those if you haven't eaten them, you'll never know what they are things because try as I might, I just can't seem to identify what this woman is snacking on. Here's a close up of the bag.... something salt? Any ideas?

Eh, So Maybe I Will Take Up Drawing Or Painting Or Something Artistic.

Try as I might, I can't find The Nude Nude Adult Shop anywhere. Out of business maybe?

Huh. I Wonder If Her Insurance Will Cover That.

If extraterrestrial civilizations are monitoring our TV broadcasts, this is what they are currently watching. No doubt any life form living in Alpha Centauri thinks we're all a bunch of assholes.

There Are Surprises Abound In Today's Update.

So all of you moms out there, did you enjoy your Mother's Day breakfast?

Oh What, Like You've Never Had Eight Cups Of Coffee And Driven Home From The Bar At 10AM?

Yesterday I asked how your Mother's Day breakfast was, but I didn't ask what you did to deserve it. Well, what did you do?

I'm Takin' It Back To The Old School 'Cause I'm An Old Fool Who's So Cool..

Lavatories on modern aircraft are very expensive, and include features that have required substantial upfront and long term investments by the world's airlines to design and develop. Airlines and aircraft manufacturers continue to investigate ways to improve lavatory design technology to increase functionality and reduce costs of production, while maintaining adequate levels of safety, hygiene and amenity. For this reason many modern lavatories are now no longer of the chemical toilet blue water recirculated electric flush variety. Instead lavatory manufacturers have progressed to vacuum flush technology to eliminate solid and liquid residue from the basin, patented in 1975.

It's Not As Cool As being Alive, But Still Pretty Cool.

The Danny McCauley Memorial Reef is a beautiful new wreck dive and will be spectacular once the coral and marine life begin to claim her as home. I explored every inch and got a maximum depth of 74 feet to the sand. After several delays due to Coast Guard inspections, mechanical failures, and weather, the decision was made to sink the tugboat the morning of February 22, 2013. The choice of this date was unintentional but somehow fitting. It was the anniversary of the passing of 16 year old Danny McCauley in a tragic automobile accident. And if you want to rattle your nerves a little bit, two onboard GoProHD cameras capture the sinking; outside = slow. But inside? Wow, that's fucking fast. Also? The Anthony Bell wreck, this time with external video of the sinking.

Direct-drive ceiling fans employ a motor with a stationary inner core with a shell that revolves around it (commonly called a "spinner" or "pancake" motor); the blades attach to this shell. Direct-drive motors are the least expensive motors to produce, and on the whole are the most prone to failure and noise generation.

Well I Seriously Doubt This Friday is Going To Be As Awesome As Last Friday.

The General Electric GAU-8/A Avenger is a 30 mm hydraulically driven seven-barrel Gatling-type cannon that is typically mounted to the United States Air Force's Fairchild Republic A-10 Thunderbolt II. Designed specifically for the anti-tank role, the Avenger delivers very powerful rounds at a high rate of fire. The A-10 engines were initially susceptible to flameout when subjected to gases generated in the firing of the gun. When the GAU-8 is being fired, the smoke from the gun can make the engines stop, and this did occur during initial flight testing. Gun exhaust is essentially oxygen-free, and is certainly capable of causing flame-outs of gas turbines. The A-10 engines now have a self-sustaining combustion section; when the gun is fired the igniters come on to reduce the possibility of a flame-out. The gun is loaded using Syn-Tech's linked tube carrier GFU-8/E 30 mm Ammunition Loading Assembly cart. This vehicle is unique to the A-10 and the GAU-8.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

Good God, I Hate FluorescentGreen Zombie Furniture.

Ladies. While yes, most men appreciate a nice toned, athletic body, I'm just not sure this is the message you want to send to a potential suitor.

Smart Gun, Dumb Idea.

Smart guns soon could be the only kind sold legally in New Jersey under a state law that has languished on the books for over a decade. The law, which requires the state's gun dealers to exclusively sell smart guns within three years after the first one hits the market, has been largely forgotten since the Legislature adopted it in 2002. Earlier in 2014, German company Armatix releases the P1 smart gun, which uses radio frequency technology in its .22-caliber digital pistol, which unlocks with a digital watch and a PIN. If someone who isn't wearing the watch grabs the gun, it immediately deactivates. And now The Brady Campaign is suing the NJ Attorney General to force him to start enforcing the state's smart gun law.

And Yet, Somehow It's Turning Out To Be.

In June 2013 the U.S. Energy Information Administration published a global inventory of estimated recoverable tight oil and tight gas resources in shale formations, "Technically Recoverable Shale Oil and Shale Gas Resources: An Assessment of 137 Shale Formations in 41 Countries Outside the United States." The inventory is incomplete due to exclusion of tight oil and gas from sources other than shale such as sandstone or carbonates, formations underlying the large oil fields located in the Middle East and the Caspian region, off shore formations, or about which there is little information. Estimated technically recoverable shale oil resources total 335 to 345 billion barrels.

That Reminds Me, Wright Brand Bacon is On Sale At Publix This Week.

Ummm, yeah. I suspect the fact that your sign is written in Spanish, is definitely contributing to your problem.

A Man Loves The Meat In His Youth That He Cannot Endure In His Age - William Shakespeare.

I have one last request. If you have a minute, read this guy's account of a recent trip he made to The Ram Brewery in Littleton, Colorado. He specifically mentioned the Big Horn Beer Sampler, which can be had for something like $6 or so, which I think is quite reasonably priced.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

This Memorial Day, Remember That Not All Family Gatherings Will Be Filled With Good Times And Hot Dogs.

Memorial Day isn't about barbecues and traffic jams and M*A*S*H marathons. Originally known as Decoration Day, this federal holiday began after the Civil War to commemorate the Union and Confederate soldiers who died in the war. Memorial Day now honors all Americans who have died in military service.