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Ernie's House of Whoopass! June 4, 2014
June 4, 2014

And I Can Assure You I Work Too Damned Hard At It.

Holy shit, this guy in the black hat has a keg buried in the sand at the beach. Brilliant!

Simona Halep is a Romanian professional tennis player who started playing tennis at the age of four, following in her older brother's footsteps. At almost 18 years old, Halep decided that her large bust was interfering with her game. She underwent mastopexy to reduce her bust size from 34DD to to 34C. Fans petitioned her to reconsider her decision. She responded, saying, "It's the weight that troubles me. My ability to react quickly, my breasts make me uncomfortable when I play. I don't like them in my everyday life, either. I would have gone for surgery even if I hadn't been a sportswoman." As sad as that makes me, it seems to have worked since by 2011, Halep had gone from No. 352 to No. 58, which was great. However, right now the 22-year-old is the No. 4 seed at the French Open.

10,000 Days is the Grammy Award-winning fourth studio album by American rock band Tool. The compact disc packaging for 10,000 Days consists of a thick cardboard-bound booklet partly covered by a flap holding a pair of black stereoscopic eyeglasses, which can be used to view a series of images inside. Viewed with the glasses, the artwork produces an illusion of depth and three-dimensionality. Personally I'm a huge fan of their followup album, Enima, which featured "Forty Six & 2" as the third track.

The name of the magazine is The Men, but for some strange reason they have decided to feature a Kate Upton photo spread, despite the fact that Kate Upton is a woman. Weird, right?

With luscious photography that's good enough to eat, Yum! Magazine tempts readers with features like Gordon Ramsay's super-stylish suppers, Gregg Wallace's favorite puddings and Valentine Warner's delicious all-British menu – all easy to make and divine to eat! Each month Yum! Magazine gives tips on creating exciting menus and helps you to choose the perfect wines and drinks for every occasion. You'll find tips on where to shop and discover all about the latest new gadgets to help you in the kitchen.

This week Google showed off its new prototype for it's self-driving car. The car fits two passengers and has no steering wheel or pedals, "because they just don't need them," Google said in a blog post. All passengers have to do it get in, put on their seatbelt, tell the car where they want to and sit back and relax. As for me? Looks there still to work out first.

The N-Force line consists of foam weapons such as swords, axes and shields. Weapons released under the N-Force series are made of a stronger, more durable foam than the foam used for Nerf ammunition. Over time, the foam on the weapons may tear and rip due to rough or extended use, meaning that the weapons may not last very long. Scuff marks are easy to make on certain weapons such as the Warlock Axe. While most of the weapons are made of a strong, rubbery foam, the Klaw Hatchet, Thunder Fury Short Sword, Vantage Sword, and Shadow Fury Short Sword are made of a weaker, easily rippable foam.

Think there's nothing creepier than Zooey Deschanel's dead blue eyes? Turns out, you're not the only one.

Add glowing warmth to chilly evenings at home, or create an inviting ambiance at special get-togethers. Pine Mountain Classic Firelogs provide soothing warmth and comfort. Each log lights easily and quickly. Pine Mountain Classic Firelogs are greener and burn cleaner than natural cordwood, producing up to 80% less carbon monoxide, and up to 75% less particulate matter.

A prankster is terrifying urban explorers by hiding in an abandoned hospital and creeping up on them. Photographers visiting the dilapidated St Mary's Hospital near Kirkcaldy, Fife, are confronted by Owlman, who stalks the corridors waiting for unsuspecting visitors. The haunting creature is the creation of filmmaker Lawrie Brewster, who set up seven hidden cameras inside the Victorian building to film the photographers' reactions.

No takers yet on identifying this Italian(?) ship, so I'll throw a little more chum into the waters. What's embroidered on this guy's shirt? Is it "IT. VILLA-M.O." and then "36064?" -- if that number is a zip code, it's for a tiny little town called Pike Road, Alabama.

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So Where The Fuck Did EHOWA Go?...

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