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But Still, She gets An A For Effort, Am I Right?

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

Uhhh.. Yeah, Gimme A Sec... I'm Coming Up With 32.33 Uh, Repeating Of Course, Percentage, Of Survival..

It was almost ten years ago today that I dove headfirst into the newly released Doom 3. And I took that shit seriously, too. I even went out and bought a new computer and a set of Logitech surround sound speakers to completely immerse myself in the new Doom experience. And for the next weeks, with a heavy blanket thrown over the window to completely black out the room, that's exactly what I did.

Say What You Want, It's Hard To Find Fault In His Logic.

Braided ficus trees are regular ficus plants with three or four trunks that were braided together while the tree was young. This treatment gives the ficus an entirely new and different look. Braided ficus trees benefit from an occasional trim, as a ficus grown in plenty of sunlight can grow as tall as 100 feet if allowed to grow unrestrained. Braided ficus will grace your indoor environment for many years with a moderate level of care.

Sixty-Nine Years Ago Today, I Know Of A Bunch of People Who Remembered Pearl Harbor.

In April 1945, The Chief of Staff of the United States Army, General George Marshall asked Major General Leslie Groves Jr. of the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers to nominate specific targets for bombing for final approval by himself and Secretary of War Henry Stimson. The Target Committee nominated five targets: Kokura, the site of one of Japan's largest munitions plants; Hiroshima, an embarkation port and industrial center that was the site of a major military headquarters; Yokohama, an urban center for aircraft manufacture, machine tools, docks, electrical equipment and oil refineries; Niigata, a port with industrial facilities including steel and aluminum plants and an oil refinery; and Kyoto, a major industrial center. These cities were largely untouched during the nightly bombing raids and the Army Air Forces agreed to leave them off the target list so accurate assessment of the weapon could be made.

Oh, You Ought To Be Very Comfortable There.

The Purple Heart is a United States military decoration awarded in the name of the President to those wounded or killed, while serving, on or after April 5, 1917, with the U.S. military. With its forerunner, the Badge of Military Merit, which took the form of a heart made of purple cloth, the Purple Heart is the oldest military award still given to U.S. military members; the only earlier award being the obsolete Fidelity Medallion. The original Purple Heart, designated as the Badge of Military Merit, was established by George Washington—then the commander-in-chief of the Continental Army – by order from his Newburgh, New York headquarters on August 7, 1782. The Badge of Military Merit was only awarded to three Revolutionary War soldiers. From then on as its legend grew; so did its appearance. Although never abolished, the award of the badge was not proposed again officially until after World War I.

I'm Pretty Sure We Can Work In A Two Small Breasts In A Greasy Box Joke Somewhere.

Laser-guided bombs are often labeled as "smart bombs", despite requiring external input in the form of laser designation of the intended target. According to Raytheon's fact sheet for the Paveway II series, 99 deliveries of guided munitions will yield a circular error probable (CEP) of only 3.6 feet, compared to a CEP of 310 feet for 99 unguided bombs dropped under similar conditions. Both Lockheed Martin and Raytheon have developed GPS-guided versions of the GBU-10, although Raytheon-built Paveway II EGBUs have only been produced for export, and have been used in combat by the British Royal Air Force over Afghanistan and Iraq, and by the Israeli Air Force for precision strikes in the Gaza Strip.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

Wait, Here's A Better Question. Why Would Anyone Want A Magazine That Holds Less Than 30 Rounds?

Korean-Americans in Los Angeles refer to the event as "Sa-I-Gu", meaning "four-two-nine" in Korean, in reference to April 29, 1992, which was the day the riots started. The riots prompted various responses from Korean-Americans, including the formation of activist organizations such as the Association of Korean-American Victims, and increased efforts to build collaborative links with other ethnic groups. During the riots, many Korean immigrants from the area rushed to Koreatown, after Korean-language radio stations called for volunteers to guard against rioters. Many were armed, with a variety of improvised weapons, shotguns, and semi-automatic rifles. Due to their low social status and language barrier, Korean Americans received very little if any aid or protection from police authorities. David Joo, a manager of the gun store, said, "I want to make it clear that we didn't open fire first. At that time, four police cars were there. Somebody started to shoot at us. The LAPD ran away in half a second. I never saw such a fast escape. I was pretty disappointed." Carl Rhyu, a participant in the Korean immigrants' armed response to the rioting, said, "If it was your own business and your own property, would you be willing to trust it to someone else? We are glad the National Guard is here. They're good backup. But when our shops were burning we called the police every five minutes; no response." At a https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6tmD0W5r4wshopping center several miles north of Koreatown, Jay Rhee, who estimated that he and others fired five hundred shots into the ground and air, said, "We have lost our faith in the police. Where were you when we needed you?" Korean Americans were ignored and Koreatown was isolated from South Central Los Angeles, yet despite such exclusion it was the heaviest hit. Meanwhile, in Ferguson, Missouri. And according to the 2010 census, the population of Ferguson is only 0.5% Asian, so it looks like this looting will go unchecked for awhile. With that hot on the heels of the Russian AK import ban, Zastava's Yugo O-PAP AKs are a great alternative. Note; stay away from the N-PAPs, they're made with a thinner receiver and shitty wood stocks. And do you know what all the Ferguson police are saying right now? Exactly. SO GOOD RUCK, GUYS!

So Long, Mork. So Long, Mrs. Doubtfire. So Long, Genie. So Long, Adrian Cronauer. So Long, Captain, My Captain.

I honestly and truly hope that Williams' death doesn't to lead a small epidemic of suicides. Not because people will be so upset they'll take their own lives, but because people who are depressed or battling alcoholism or some other addiction are simply going to give up hope. They're going to see Williams as having every resource available to him that one could possibly hope for in the battle to recovery -- friends, family, fame, fortune, accessibility to any rehab program and all the world's best doctors -- and still lose the battle. They'll look at their ordinary non-celebrity lives riddled with common everyday problems and they'll shrug, "If he can't do it with everything he had going for him, well fuck it, why keep trying." I can't imagine being a genius on the scale that he was, having such a profound impact you have on the world around you, and yet somehow convincing yourself that even despite these gifts, life just isn't worth living anymore. I guess when you give away all of your laughter, it leaves you too empty inside. Rest in peace, Robin Williams, we hardly knew ye.

You'll Have Bad Times, But It'll Always Wake You Up To The Good Stuff You Weren't Paying Attention To.

So if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo, you know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientations, the whole works, right? But I'll bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling; seen that. If I ask you about women, you'd probably give me a syllabus about your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You're a tough kid. And I'd ask you about war, you'd probably throw Shakespeare at me, right, "once more unto the breach dear friends." But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap, watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help. I'd ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, 'cause it only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself. And I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. And look at you... I don't see an intelligent, confident man... I see a cocky, scared shitless kid. But you're a genius Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine, and you ripped my fucking life apart. You're an orphan right? You think I know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are, because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally... I don't give a shit about all that, because you know what, I can't learn anything from you, I can't read in some fuckin' book. Unless you want to talk about you, who you are. Then I'm fascinated. I'm in. But you don't want to do that do you sport? You're terrified of what you might say. Your move, chief.

So That's Why My Mom Always Referred To Them As Her Shelf.

So I have looked through all 41 eBay listings for a kentucky Derby baseball cap, and have yet to find this one offered for sale. Hell, I even tried a Google image search for "kentucky derby baseball cap and still came up empty. I even fucking searched Amazon, and the official Kentucky Derby store, and still got shit. I sure didn't see that one coming.

Pop Quiz Hotshot. Is That Photo From The Gaza Strip or Ferguson, Missouri?

"The general consensus here: if this is militarization, it's the shittiest, least-trained, least professional military in the world, using weapons far beyond what they need, or what the military would use when doing crowd control."

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

So Cape Coral Has Recently Welcomed Its Second Starbucks.

ATTENTION BOATERS: What is this orange thing?

Michael Brown, The Ferguson Police, Al Sharpton, et al.

A lot of people are suggesting Michael Brown was killed because he robbed a store, "he didn't deserve to die over some stolen cigars." I completely agree. But robbery was not why the fatal confrontation occured. Brown was killed because -- or at least the police claim -- he assaulted an officer in a police cruiser, attempted to steal the officer's firearm before fleeing, and then turned and charging the officer. A jaywalking incident can have fatal consequences if the jaywalker assaults the officer and tries to steal his firearm. Now as for who is telling the truth in this Michael brown shooting is of course a matter of hot debate, and one that will not be put to rest anytime soon. Both sides admit the officer attempted to exit the cruiser and

Some People Will Piss And Moan If They're Hung With A New Rope.

I have never heard so many people bitching and moaning about a charity drive in my entiree life, as I have with this ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. With the exception of those poor fuckers trapped in California, everyone needs to shut the fuck up. This is a novelty idea that's designed not only to raise money for ALS, but also to raise its awareness.

Wait. As A Convicted Felon, Can Wesley Snipes Even Hold A Firearm?

It was almost two years ago when The Expendables 2 broke my heart and let me just say, the tradition continues in The Expendables 3; if the theme for the second movie was predictability, the theme for this one would be cliche, cliche, cliche. Well, that and product placement, product placement, product placement. See: Arnold Schwarzenegger's U-Boat watch, Sly Stallone's Ford F-150, Kelsey Grammer's Havar SUV, just to name a few.

I'm Torn: Do I Make A Gun Safety Comment, or Black Box Joke?

The dusky dolphin is small to medium in length compared with other species in the family, and there is significant variation in size among the different population areas. The back of the dolphin is dark grey or black, and the dorsal fin is distinctively two-toned; the leading edge matches the back in color, but the trailing edge is a much lighter greyish white. The dusky dolphins has a long, light-grey patch on its side leading to a short, dark-grey beak. The throat and belly are white, and the beak and lower jaw are dark grey. Two blazes of white color run back on the body from the dorsal fin to the tail.