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Ernie's House of Whoopass! August 12, 2014
August 12, 2014

So Long, Mork. So Long, Mrs. Doubtfire. So Long, Genie. So Long, Adrian Cronauer. So Long, Captain, My Captain.

I honestly and truly hope that Williams' death doesn't to lead a small epidemic of suicides. Not because people will be so upset they'll take their own lives, but because people who are depressed or battling alcoholism or some other addiction are simply going to give up hope. They're going to see Williams as having every resource available to him that one could possibly hope for in the battle to recovery -- friends, family, fame, fortune, accessibility to any rehab program and all the world's best doctors -- and still lose the battle. They'll look at their ordinary non-celebrity lives riddled with common everyday problems and they'll shrug, "If he can't do it with everything he had going for him, well fuck it, why keep trying." I can't imagine being a genius on the scale that he was, having such a profound impact you have on the world around you, and yet somehow convincing yourself that even despite these gifts, life just isn't worth living anymore. I guess when you give away all of your laughter, it leaves you too empty inside. Rest in peace, Robin Williams, we hardly knew ye.

For some reason I can't identify this juice carton. I know it's somewhere over in Europe, and specifically remember featuring a square orange juice carton before, but fuck all if I can remember who/what/where. Here's a CSI worthy Zoom-And-Enhanced of the carton.

Who get's your vote for goriest onscreen movie death? Is it The Joker's pencil trick from Dark Knight? Or Boromir's Last Stand from LOTR? How about the outhouse dude from Jurassic Park? Cast Your Vote Here. And here are the Goriest Games of all Time.

Nestlé yet again finds itself in another bottled water controversy. The state of California, along with much of the country, has endured one of its worst droughts on record. Residents can now be fined up to $500 for excessive watering as spit-spats between farming, fishing, business and environmental interests fester. Nestlé, which sells the most bottled water in the U.S., is attracting more attention for bottling water in a region suffering from depleted groundwater. Maybe it's just a drop in the bucket compared to how else water is wasted in the region. Perhaps Arrowhead-branded bottles of water are significantly contributing to lower aquifer levels.

Meanwhile in Missouri, law abiding business owners did in fact use firearms to protect their livelihoods. Turns out, things were rather targetted, because that's exactly what's supposed to happen in an event such as this. So take it from the Boy Scouts and BE PREPARED.

In case you'd like to put an addition in your yard. Robert

Ernie, I'm surprised you or any of your faithful followers didn't catch this. How about "You Nauty" a poorly spelled play on the "Naut-ical" nature of the floating tube. Anyway... just a guess... Enjoy the site daily... Thanks Nim

HOLY SHIT, NIM! I think you're right! That never occured to me before, well played! Now perhaps you can enlighten me as to what this girl's tank-top reads?

Nilla is a brand name owned by Nabisco that is most closely associated with its line of vanilla flavored, wafer-style cookies. The name is a shortened version of vanilla, the tropical type of flavor common to all Nilla-branded products. Nilla wafers have been flavored with synthetic vanillin since their introduction. "Nilla wafer" may sometimes be used colloquially like a genericized trademark for similar, but unrelated products. The brand Nilla Wafers was registered in the United States in 1968, having been first used in late 1967.

Mustard is a dark yellow color that resembles culinary mustard, while the first recorded use of mustard as a color name in English was in 1886. In the bandana code of the gay leather subculture, wearing a mustard bandana means that one is a size queen. However, the color called "mustard" in the bandana code is darker than the mustard color shown above -- it is identical with the X11 color called goldenrod. Call it goldenrod, call it maize, call it whatever, but this dress looks great in it.

I believe that would be the Calvary Lutheran Chapel on the UW Madison campus. Go Badgers.

Big E, My first solved photo challenge. The CA made me think of Calvary so I searched Calvary Lutheran Church in Madison, WI and came up with Calvary Lutheran Chapel. The tree is gone, the window is changed, the Church name plate has been moved but the small brick wall is still there and the building architecture matches. John

Hey does anyone know what countries Bud Light used the slogan, "Aqui Lo Tienes Todo!/It's all here!" because wherever it is, this girl lives there.

Close examination of Mike Tyson's punches has shown that just one punch has the potential to knock out and hospitalize the average man. At his peak, the force of Tyson's knock out punch has an 85% chance of giving his opponent severe brain damage and is easily great enough to fracture any bone in the average human skull. Research shows that force needed to break forehead bones is 4990N Newtons; the highest realistic value predictable for Tyson's punch is 7000 Newtons. To put this into context, Tyson's punch impact and the momentum of it, which is nearly four times that of an average man, is the equivalent of hitting a car windscreen at 50mph or getting hit by a 16lb sledgehammer moving at 35mph. Could this be the reason why 68% of the population believes that they would only last one minute in the ring with Tyson?

There are two main types of waterway markers designed to assist boaters in navigation and accident prevention. "Regulatory buoys" are designed to identify areas with speed limits or where boats are not allowed. "Navigation aids" are designed to identify lanes of navigation or "channels." It is important that boaters be familiar with each of these buoy types and the message each one conveys. All regulatory buoys are white with a single orange band at the top and bottom of the exposed buoy. The control symbol is spaced between these bands and is also orange in color. The Boats Keep Out buoy is signified by a red cross in the center of an red diamond. Boats Keep Out buoys mark areas where vessel operation is prohibited; typical areas for these buoys are swim beaches and dams.

how bulletproof? water jugs vs .50 cal desert eagle vs. $299 bulletproof vest

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