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Ernie's House of Whoopass! August 13, 2014
August 13, 2014

You'll Have Bad Times, But It'll Always Wake You Up To The Good Stuff You Weren't Paying Attention To.

So if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo, you know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientations, the whole works, right? But I'll bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling; seen that. If I ask you about women, you'd probably give me a syllabus about your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You're a tough kid. And I'd ask you about war, you'd probably throw Shakespeare at me, right, "once more unto the breach dear friends." But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap, watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help. I'd ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, 'cause it only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself. And I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. And look at you... I don't see an intelligent, confident man... I see a cocky, scared shitless kid. But you're a genius Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine, and you ripped my fucking life apart. You're an orphan right? You think I know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are, because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally... I don't give a shit about all that, because you know what, I can't learn anything from you, I can't read in some fuckin' book. Unless you want to talk about you, who you are. Then I'm fascinated. I'm in. But you don't want to do that do you sport? You're terrified of what you might say. Your move, chief.

Robin Williams participated in United Service Organization tours for more than a decade, entertaining troops in war zones from Afghanistan to Iraq to Kuwait. He made many trips to 13 different countries and performing stand-up routines for almost 90,000 troops. Here, while on a USO performance for the troops at Camp Arifjan in Kuwait, every soldier -- most of whom were either headed to Iraq or supporting combat troops already there -- suddenly stopped laughing, stood up and turned away from Robin Williams. It's an experience, he said he'll never forget. This is the original clip played on David Letterman. And paying due tribute to one of his masterpieces of standup, here is Robin Williams on Golf.

Considering that £2.99 converts to about about $5.00, doesn't that seem a little steep for a wind up duck?

Hey Ernie, Loved the clip with Rickles, Carson, and Sinatra. It reminded me of this one where Carson crashed C.P.O. Sharky's show. Later, Eric

A very busty Jordan Carver knocks out 200 squats with some serious upper-body weight. And by upper body weight, I mean her 32HH tits.

A rack is the name given to a frame used to organize billiard balls at the beginning of a game. The most common shape of a physical rack is that of a triangle, with the ball pattern of 5-4-3-2-1. Racks are sometimes called simply "triangles" based on the predominance of this form. Triangular-shaped racks are used for eight-ball, straight pool, one-pocket, bank pool, snooker and many other games. Although diamond-shaped racks, with an intended pattern of 1-2-3-2-1, are made for the game of nine-ball, the triangular rack is more often employed in nine ball as well.

You know how normally when I link to Sportsmans Guide deals, you have to be a member to get the best price? Well they've got a coupon code going on right now where for a limited time, non-members can get members pricing (20% off). So get while the getting is good.

The C/K was Chevrolet and GMC's full-size pickup truck line from 1960 until 1999 in the United States, from 1965 to 1999 in Canada, from 1964 through 2001 in Brazil, from 1975 to 1982 in Chile. The first Chevrolet pickup truck appeared in 1924, though in-house designs did not appear until 1930. "C" indicated two-wheel drive and "K" indicated four-wheel drive. The aging C/K light-duty pickup truck was replaced with the Chevrolet Silverado and GMC Sierra names in 1999 in the US and Canada, and 2001 in Brazil; the Chevrolet Silverado HD and GMC Sierra HD heavy-duty pickup trucks followed.

You've had some tough photo challenges lately, but I found this one. She's enjoying some Sandora orange juice from the Ukraine. Cameron

The orange juice looks like Ukrainian, Sandora by Pepsi. Tim

For your next challenge? Identify this vacuum cleaner for me.

King's Quest is a graphic adventure game series created by the American software company Sierra Entertainment, and widely considered a classic series from the golden era of adventure games. Following the success of its first installment, the series was primarily responsible for building the reputation of Sierra. Roberta Williams, co-founder and former co-owner of Sierra, designed all of the King's Quest games. The first game was released in 1984, and the latest came in 1998. The King's Quest series chronicles the saga of the royal family of the Kingdom of Daventry through their various trials and adventures. And guess what, motherfuckers! Sierra Games is reviving the Kings Quest series! You are motherfucking welcome!

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