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Ernie's House of Whoopass! August 20, 2014
August 20, 2014

Some People Will Piss And Moan If They're Hung With A New Rope.

I have never heard so many people bitching and moaning about a charity drive in my entiree life, as I have with this ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. With the exception of those poor fuckers trapped in California, everyone needs to shut the fuck up. This is a novelty idea that's designed not only to raise money for ALS, but also to raise its awareness.

Yes, people are indeed wasting a little water. But if that's the worst fucking to happen to you today, count your fucking blessings because the alternative is you could be this poor son of a bitch. And what's the real solution here? Easy, stop cutting their funding.

As far as the challenges go, some are good -- I would have really liked to see Kata Mara 5 seconds after her video cut out -- while some are bad. Some people have a difficult time understanding the physics of a huge bucket of wate, especially when they're wearing a loose bikini top.

Some of my favorite challenges so far: Chris Pratt aka Burt Macklin aka Starlord, uber hottie Kate Upton and her boyfriend (fuck you!) Justin Verlander, former President George W Bush, a bikini clad Katy Perry, winning warlock Charlie Sheen and Nike CEO Mark Parker.

In an age when so many coaches and parents have forgotten that youth sports is about instilling values, this is one hell of a refreshing speech, made by Rhode Island coach Dave Belisle after his kids were eliminated by Chicago yesterday. Anyway, rather than go the $10-Accept-Challenge or $100-Reject-Challenge route, I just donated $50 and called it a day.

Henry Louis Gehrig was an American baseball first baseman who played 17 seasons in Major League Baseball for the New York Yankees (1923–1939). Gehrig was renowned for his prowess as a hitter and for his durability, a trait which earned him his nickname "The Iron Horse". He finished with a career batting average of .340, an on-base percentage of .447, and a slugging percentage of .632, and he tallied 493 home runs and 1,995 runs batted in. A seven-time All-Star and six-time World Series champion, Gehrig won the Triple Crown in 1934 and was twice named the American League's Most Valuable Player. Gehrig was the first MLB player to have his uniform number retired, and he was elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1939. On June 21, the New York Yankees announced Gehrig's retirement. The doctors of the Mayo Clinic had released his ALS diagnosis to the public on June 19. Yankees Manager Joe McCarthy, struggling to control his emotions, then spoke of Lou Gehrig, with whom he had a close, almost father-and-son–like bond. After describing Gehrig as "the finest example of a ballplayer, sportsman, and citizen that baseball has ever known", McCarthy could stand it no longer. Turning tearfully to Gehrig, the manager said, "Lou, what else can I say except that it was a sad day in the life of everybody who knew you when you came into my hotel room that day in Detroit and told me you were quitting as a ballplayer because you felt yourself a hindrance to the team. My God, man, you were never that." Gehrig's complete speech was not filmed; only a small snippet of the newsreel footage has survived, incorporating his opening and closing remarks: "For the past two weeks you have been reading about the bad break I got. Yet today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of this earth. When you look around, wouldn't you consider it a privilege to associate yourself with such fine looking men as are standing in uniform in this ballpark today? That I may have been given a bad break, but I have an awful lot to live for. Thank you."

So my free shit from Sig Sauer came in yesterday afternoon -- so in the end I'll have picked up a Sig P220 with night sights, four 15 round magazines, paddle holster and pistol bag for a paltry $389. If you're jelly you can still pick up almost the same deal through CDNN Sports Weekend Super Sale, although it's gone up to $399 now, and Sig's rebate offer for the two extra mags has expired, but it's still an excellent pistol.

Here are 25 24 mind-blowing things you didn't know before today. I can assure you that #3 is complete and total bullshit.

The 5-Inch/54-caliber (Mk 45) lightweight gun is a modern U.S. naval artillery gun mount consisting of a 5-inch L54 Mark 19 gun on the Mark 45 mount. Originally designed and built by United Defense, it is now manufactured by BAE Systems Land & Armaments after the former was acquired. The latest 5-inch/62-caliber version consist of a longer barrel L62 Mark 36 gun fitted on the same Mark 45 mount. The gun is designed for use against surface warships, anti-aircraft and shore bombardment to support amphibious operations. The gun mount features an automatic loader with a capacity of 20 rounds. These can be fired under full automatic control, taking a little over a minute to exhaust those rounds at maximum fire rate.

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