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Ernie's House of Whoopass! September 23, 2014
September 23, 2014

Now That I Have Your Attention, Let's Keep You Hooked.

What's the grosses fucking thing you can imagine? Could it be Hope Solo's (NSFW!) battered roast beef sandwich? Yeah, that Sarlaac pit looking thing isn't even half as gross as this whole chicken in a can. With delicious broth, I might add. The chicken, not the Sarlaac.

While we are busy exploring space and expecting to encounter aliens, there's weird stuff going on on our planet. Things and creatures that are still largely unknown and alien-like to us. Salt water oceans make up 71% of the Earth's surface, so just imagine that when we say "the whole world" and refer to all the people living on land we are only talking about 29% of our planet. So then are you ready to see what spooky faces lie underneath the surface of oceans? The aliens are definitely among us. And they're not oxygen-friendly.

For your next challenge I'd like to know what intersection this roadwork was performed at. I am 99% sure the crossing street in the background is Santa Monica Boulevard, so there's about a 5 mile stretch of road it could be at. I suspect you'll have to be somewhat familiar with the Los Angeles area, or be very lucky on Google Street View, or have a cool job title like pornography historian or chocolate beer specialist to get this one, since I'll bet that upside down trapazoid building in the background is going to be the key on this one.

Ernie, Ass Kiss blah blah for the site and LBEH. Just saw this and think it's BS that the wife has any claim on the money. What are your thoughts on the whole situation, being from FL? Russ

Five hundred years ago when I went to Keesler AFB for tech school, part of the in-processing briefing was some dude warning us, "Look the local girls will throw themselves at you and want to get married. They're looking for stability and most of them will divorce you after a couple years and keep half of your paycheck." I'm not sure that's the case here because there's a follow up article with a quote from the wife, "I've been married to the guy for 17 years. I've been to every doctor's appointment with him. I have been by his side when we had nothing. He lived out of his truck when I met him." If that's true, I don't think it's as cut and dry as it first seems. And while I'll preface this by cautioning I'm-Not-A-Lawyer-But, I would think federal law trumps State law. But even that may not be accurate because in the comments of the follow up article, a paralegal offers, "Federal law categorically does not exclude VA disability compensation from alimony. The law is actually that VA disability compensation cannot be divided for purposes of property division (ie equitable distribution). However, VA disability compensation is totally fair game for purposes for calculating support, such as alimony or child support. It is not divided in the sense of 'she is awarded 50% of your VA compensation' but it is included as income for computations regarding income." Is that accurate? I don't know, but now you know why divorces cost so much. It's worth it.

Here's a pretty slick deal on some quality PMC 115gr 9mm rounds for the plinker and target shooter. These are non-corrosive brass cased rounds, not steel, and therefore reloadable. You can score an entire case of 1000 9mm rounds for only $201.74 after coupon SG3729.

Sailing cultures tend to be rich in traditions. Over time, tattoos became one of the more popular traditions among mariners. Since their introduction, tattoos became a graphic language and a way for sailors to express themselves through body art, as well as a means of visually identifying with a broader social group. The purpose of sailor tattoos was also to record important events or experiences such travels, achievements, naval hierarchy, rank, status, membership, and/or any other significant event in life. Examples of popular symbols in the sailor tattooing are: a dragon, which refers to a sailor that has served in Asia; an anchor, which indicates sailing across the Atlantic; a full rigged ship represents traversal of Cape Horn; a harpoon refers to a member of the fishing fleet; and a Hula Girl, reflects being stationed at. or sailing to Hawaii.

Woodstock Leabank is one of the UK's major suppliers of commercial furniture, with an installation and distribution network to ensure an unrivalled service to all their customers. They continually look to deliver fresh design ideas that enable dealers to present a complete furniture solution for any commercial environment from office and administrative storage, to classroom and conferencing.

Hi Ernie, Long time reader here. I think you readers will enjoy these brief quotes from four star General "Mad Dog" Mattis. Keep up the great work - Drew in NH

Huge herd of elk crossing the road in Bozeman, MT near Yellowstone. I have never seen a herd this big. Poor little guy at the end...leave no elk behind. Rick

A trapdoor is a sliding or hinged door, flush with the surface of a floor, roof, or ceiling, or in the stage of a theatre. A hatch, an opening which may also be in a wall and need not be flush with the surface, is similar; in some cases either name is applicable. A small door in a wall or floor used to gain access to equipment is called an access hatch or access door.

Good news/bad news: The Los Angeles School District is ditching their three grenade-launchers. But they're keeping their 60 fully automatic M-16 assault rifles. Don't be late for class, kids!

Latouche-Tréville is a F70 type anti-submarine frigate of the French Marine Nationale. She is the third French vessel named after the 18th century politician and admiral Louis-René Levassor de Latouche Tréville. In November 2006 and again in June 2010, Latouche Treville visited London on diplomatic duties, and was moored alongside the Second World War cruiser, HMS Belfast. Here she is battling 40' seas in the English Channel and much to mu surprise, she does not surrender.

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