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Ernie's House of Whoopass! October 24, 2014
October 24, 2014

Well Hello There, HBO. And Welcome To The 21st Fucking Century.

Anyway, I am completely and hopelessly hooked on Colorize, but I don't know if I can turn it into a challenge, since I'm not sure how it records your progress?

HBO is an American premium cable and satellite television network, whose programming consists primarily of theatrically released motion pictures and original television series, along with made-for-cable movies and documentaries, boxing matches and occasional stand-up comedy and concert specials. HBO is the oldest and longest continuously operating pay television service (basic or premium) in the United States, having been in operation since November 8, 1972. At 9:00 p.m. Eastern Time on September 30, 1975, HBO became the first television network to continuously deliver its signal via satellite when it broadcast the "Thrilla in Manila" boxing match between Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier; it was beamed to cable providers in Fort Pierce and Vero Beach, Florida, and Jackson, Mississippi, as well as those already carrying HBO in the northeastern United States.

The HBO logo became iconic due to perhaps the network's most famous program opening sequence, nicknamed "HBO in Space", which was produced in 1981 by New York City production firm Liberty Studios. The original full version begins with a window shot of a family sitting down to watch TV, with the cable box atop their television set tuned to HBO. It transitions to a fly-through over a constructed model cityscape -- complete with a movie theater with an "HBO Theater" marquee that features the logo -- and countryside, before panning towards a star-filled sky; a starburst then occurs, unveiling a chrome-plated HBO logo in starship form that rotates into view; colored light beams encircle the side of the "O" that then reveal its interior, flashing to a partially animated sequence featuring more lights racing counter-clockwise on a silver axis, which reveals the underlined text "HBO Feature Presentation."

In January 1986, HBO became the first satellite-delivered television network to encrypt its signal from unauthorized viewing by way of the Videocipher II system; this initially resulted in a mass lodge of complaints from television receive-only satellite users that previously received HBO's programming without a subscription. Four months later, HBO became a victim of broadcast signal intrusion when satellite television dealer John MacDougall, a Florida man calling himself "Captain Midnight", intercepted the network's signal during a movie presentation of The Falcon and the Snowman and overrode the telecast of the film with a message placed over SMPTE color bars (go to 1:45) in protest of the channel's decision to scramble its signal for home satellite subscribers.

Following the business models of Netflix and Huilu, on October 15, 2014 HBO has fucking FINALLY announced it would launch an over-the-top version of HBO Go in 2015; it will be distributed as a stand-alone subscription service that will not require an existing television subscription to use.

Near Atlanta you can pick up a Paintball/Airsoft Air Mortar and Howitzer, and down in McAllen, texas you can treat yourself to a Ferreari 360 Spider replica made from a.... Mitsubishi 3000GT? But down here in SW Florida, the best I can manage is a big styrofoam box that you have to haul away yourself; hardly worthy of being called some of the most bizarre shit to appear on Craigslist.

The best I can come up with is Shell-o Jots were sold by around 2004-2005 according to the wayback machine. The only other information I found is Katie made some in January of 2004. Rick

Find this gem, Ernie! Rich

Well, when I first did the Googles for "Obama gas station" -- you have to weee through a few urban legends -- but them I came across this article about a gas station in Columbus, South Carolina that renamed itself Obama, but if you look it up on Street view, the geography doesn't match. Plus, if you look in the original photo, there is a neon sign BRIDGE CARD in the window; that of course is the name of Michigan's food stamp program. So, adding "obama gas station michigan" to the mix yields us some promising results: this flickr photo identifies your gas station as the 4th one of its kind in Detroit; this one has a repair shop next to it; while this one has a snack shop behind it. But upon searching out the third one... JACKPOT!

Sometimes, like last year, the World Series is a battle between the two best teams in baseball. And sometimes, like this year, it's a matchup of two Wild Card teams who barely even qualified for the postseason. Either way, there are always World Series WAGS. And that's our focus here today; the lineup of wives and girlfriends yielded by the Royals and Giants is pretty damn solid. Check ‘em out for yourself.

Groszek is a Polish chain of self-service food stores, founded in 2000, and according to their website has in excess of 1100 outlets throughout the country. Which is all well and good, except this website says they only have 411 stores. Either way, I think the odds are too great that we'll ever find out where this picture was taken.

Ernie. Even knowing that I am already welcome ... THANK YOU FOR KATEE OWEN! Kind Regards, Ian

Katee Owen. OMFG!! TYTYTYTYTYTYTY!!!! Randy

A good prank will make you live longer. Of course, if you're the one that's making it and not being mocked by others. Sense of humor is known to be essential for a healthy life, it might even affect our body functions as much as what we eat does. Basically all people who don't laugh die at 35 years of age. That's why cavemen never lasted, they never laughed, unless someone was decapitated by a lion or cut in half by a yak. So the next time your boyfriend pinches your ass right when someone is taking a photo of you, smile and know that that will cure your future cancer.

Pure Silk is moisturizing Shave Cream for women. Available in a variety of deliciously scented fragrances, its rich lather contains ingredients that give you a closer, long lasting shave. Plus, all Pure Silk Shave Creams contain aloe to moisturize your skin giving you the smoothest most touchable legs without irritation.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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