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Ernie's House of Whoopass! November 13, 2014
November 13, 2014

Boy These Upcoming Holidays Sure Are Hitting Me hard.

If you take a look at all the health code violations rung up at the Big Uns sports bar in Key West, it's no wonder they went out of business and were replaced by a Coyote Ugly franchise.

They say, "Don't judge a book by its cover." But when that cover is a person's, then what? Some people think it's like a promise from Mother Destiny. So then when your parents and your destiny name you Mr. Dick Pound, well, there's not much you can do but weep. Alone in bed. Every. Single. Night.

Tack is a piece of equipment or accessory used on horses in the course of their use as domesticated animals. Saddles, stirrups, bits and bridles, halters, reins, harnesses, martingales, and breastplates are all forms of horse tack. Equipping a horse is often referred to as tacking up. A room to store such equipment, usually near or in a stable, is a tack room.

There of course are many varieties of sex scandals. You've got your political sex scandals, your celebrity sex scandals, and let's not forget your teacher sex scandals. But none are as salacious as cheerleader sex scandals, right? That being said, cheerleader sex scandals aren't all fun and games; some of them involve minors being used or taken advantage of, while others involve legal-but-impressionable young people making poor life decisions. So some of the cheerleader sex scandals you'll read about here are definitely amusing, but others are just, well, kind of sad.

Rene Furterer's Naturia dry shampoo is is a stylist's secret weapon and a celebrity favorite. It instantly cleans hair without water to refresh and restore volume between regular shampoos. Perfect for the gym bag, long flights, music festivals, or the office drawer, this dry shampoo absorbs oil and other impurities in minutes leaving hair light and voluminous, without using water. It leaves hair lightly scented and refreshed while extending the life of regular shampoos. Furterer's Naturia dry shampoo can be used anywhere, anytime.

This is what 40 different company slogans would look like if they were really honest about their products.

O'Neill is an American surfboard, surfwear and equipment brand started in 1952 in San Francisco, California, which moved down the coast to Santa Cruz by the end of the decade. The company is credited with inventing the wetsuit. Jack O'Neill founded the very first O'Neill company. In 2007, O'Neill Wetsuits Inc. sold the rights to the trademark to Logo International Inc. O'Neill products are distributed internationally by a group of authorized licensed distributors worldwide.

And HELL FUCKING YES: Walmart is offering 20% off ALL FIREARMS throughout Black Friday weekend.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Yeah I Gotchu Fam Weeken...

So Where The Fuck Did EHOWA Go?...

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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