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Ernie's House of Whoopass! March 3, 2015
March 3, 2015

Of Course If This Were Alabama, It'd Just Be Hotter Than Your Sister.

As you've probably heard by now, the diligent public servants dumb shits at the BATFE announced their intent to ban some common flavors of AR-15 ball ammo, ostensibly because of its "armor piercing" capability. By the way, it's ammo that's been around since 1980. Sound fucking crazy? It is. The proposed ban would bar law-abiding citizens from purchasing popular M855 ammo for their AR-15s by re-categorizing the ammunition as "armor piercing," then outlawing it under the auspices of the Gun Control Act of 1968. “We are looking at additional ways to protect our brave men and women in law enforcement, and believe that this process is valuable for that reason alone.” That's the pronouncement from Josh Earnest, the White House Press Secretary Dumbfuck Mouthpiece, when he was asked about the BATFE's proposed ban of M855 5.56/.223 ammunition. Turns out this proposed ban has been in the works for years -- even before Sandy Hook. Never mind what the physicians think or the fact that of the billions of M855 rounds bought since it was adopted in 1980, there have been zero -- AS IN NOT ONE -- occurrence of law enforcement officer wounded or killed when an M855 round penetrated their vest.

So I Ernie, Lord of the Internet, am asking you to do me a solid. I'm asking you to get personally involved by contacting your elected officials ask them to protest this madness. Seriously, the only thing accomplished by even the whiff of a ban, is another civilian arms race akin to what happened after Sandy Hook.

"At exactly 2:35 a.m. the assault begin. To sharpshooters each armed with a long range high powered rifles and night vision, fired shots at the centuries. Both rifleman at their marks, killing the armed guards. Exactly three minutes later a plane flew overhead at twenty thousand feet. Twenty-five Navy SEALs parachuted from the plane and landed within the confines of the farm community. Five of the SEALs landed on the roof. After confirming the centuries were dead, they infiltrated the farm house and made their way down to the room that held the arsenal. Upon reaching the armory, a bomb specialist cut the fuse linking the arsenal to the outside rooms. At 2:53 a.m. the Navy SEALs poised outside your gas into the farmhouse. At 2:54 loudspeakers announced that people should exit the farmhouse slowly, their hands raised above their heads. The SEALs had been given orders not to fire unless fired upon." [Excerpt from Tolerance by Robert Fuld]

Hey Ernie, The words on the dress are from Desigual, a fashion label out of Spain. Cheers! Matt H in Ottawa, Canada.

Hi Ernie. This store is across the street from my office. Andrew.

Its backward on purpose. Its Desigual. You owe me a man card punch because I got caught looking at woman's clothing by the ol' lady and me trying to explain the topless pic, looking at dresses….Anyways, you get the idea. -Ryan

A little bit of Italian trivia for you today. First, Lido is an Italian word for beach and forms part of the place name of several Italian seaside towns known for their beach, for example "Lido di Venezia," the barrier beach enclosing the Lagoon of Venice. On a cruise ship or ocean liner, the deck with outdoor pools and the surrounding facilities are often designated the lido deck. This term has come down to us from the early days of transatlantic steamship travel. European steamship lines, in the era of multi-class ocean travel, coined the phrase Lido Deck to refer to the pool and sun deck area exclusively for use by first-class passengers.

Second, Parma Football Club is an Italian professional football club based in Parma, Emilia-Romagna that competed in Serie A in the 2014-15 season, having finished in sixth position last season. Founded as Parma Foot Ball Club in December 1913, the club has played its home matches in the 27,906-seat Stadio Ennio Tardini, often referred to as simply Il Tardini, since 1923. Although Parma Footballhas never won a domestic league title and never competed for major trophies until the 1990s, it has won three Italian Cups, one Supercoppa Italiana, two UEFA Cups, one European Super Cup and one UEFA Cup Winners' Cup.

Now, get out there and show me where hole 14 is a par 5.

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